23-year-old defends her independence by standing up to entitled 25-year-old sister-in-law demanding she let her move in: 'The kind of freedom I want!'

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  • I(23) got an apartment and started living alone January this year. My parents had made it clear that I can only get the kind of freedom I want when I live alone so I saved up and got an apartment. They're doing quite well so living with them is almost a luxury but it's a little bit like a dictatorship and I just wanna be an adult lol. And no, I have no issues with my parents as I visit regularly. Just a little context.
  • So my SIL(25) got a new job and it's closer to where I live than where she lives currently with her Parents so she spoke to my sister and she reached out to our Dad. My sister didn't talk to me herself because she never liked the idea of me living alone so asking me herself would be like she's finally seeing an advantage of me living alone lol so she had Dad do it.
  • Last weekend when I visited, my parents brought up the idea of letting my SIL share my apartment, I avoided the conversation as much as I could and only told them I'll think about it when I was leaving. When I got back home I called and told them I had no intention of sharing my apartment with anyone. That conversation went just 'as well' as I thought it would.
  • Mind you everyone knows why I decided to live alone so I feel like my SIL speaking to every other person about this except me is a bit insulting. We talk, not very often but we do so I think she should've spoken to me directly about this and honestly I'd consider but having my parents do that when all I'm trying to avoid is them dictating what I do and don't. doesn't sit well with me.
  • I reached out to her on Sunday evening to explain my reasons as I'm sure they must have relayed to her that I said No, I got no response. Sent another text on Monday and still no response. So I'm here wondering if I'm the a hole for refusing to share my apartment because she didn't speak with me directly.
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  • NTA Vespera4ever As written, basically everyone else is an a h le here. I'm glad you told your parents no, but I'd like you to practice saying it to their faces and telling them to shove it if they get huffy. Tell your sister that the next time something is about you, she can either talk to you directly or jump in a volcano. And tell your SIL nothing. She's made her contempt for you very clear.
  • drewm32 NTA. You pay the rent, nobody else gets an opinion. Period.
  • McKillsey Obviously, NTA, you handled this correctly. Assuming SIL talked to others before/instead of you to add pressure for you to agree, that's manipulative on her part
  • lavenderslavaflow NTA your sil is weird af though
  • Likeup33 You mention your sister in law but not your brother who she is presumably married to where is he in all this?
  • NotAtAllExciting NTA. Why would the person who wants to live there speak to everyone but you. If that's the case I certainly wouldn't want to share space with them.
  • blondecoffeegrounds NTA, but why are you still trying to contact someone that was disrespectful to you and communicating with everyone but you about YOUR apartment?
  • Spiritual-Bridge3027 Do not give explanations to your SIL anymore. She didn't ask you directly, so your response in any manner was just fine. Stay by yourself in the apartment you saved up for, you earned the right! NTA
  • Puppylover10002 NTA. For any number of reasons. You get to decide whether you want to share your apartment. Period. No obligation to do so. And if someone does want to, the person to ask is you. Not your sister, not your father. Apparently this was done to try and manipulate you into doing what she wants. Glad you didn't let it work. But (and this makes me wonder whether this is a valid post), how do you have a sister-in-law who lives with her parents? Either you're married, which it doesn't sou
  • TitaniaT-Rex NTA, but I'm confused. Why isn't your SIL living with her spouse? How exactly are you related?

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