‘I trained so hard for this’: 22-year-old runner leaves friend in the middle of a marathon after friend refuses to keep running

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 12, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

"What if I signed up for a marathon?" is a thought we all have had at least once in our lives, but most of us don't really follow through after that.

We know who we are, we know what we are capable of, and running a marathon is usually not something people just wake up one day and do. It takes months, if not years, of preparation and training, and most of all, it takes a lot of motivation. Having that initial thought is great, but you have to really want it to actually make it happen.

The two friends below represent the two sides of that coin. One has a lot of experience with hiking and has been training for an Ultra Marathon for close to a year. The other decided to sign up for the marathon two months before, without any preparation, and with a bad knee. While the first friend was taking her training very seriously, the second one assumed she would manage and saw the race as an opportunity to do something fun with her friend. It was clear the two were not on the same page, but neither was willing to change a thing.

Unsurprisingly, on the day of the marathon, the two friends began the race together until one of them started to get really tired. You can already guess which of the two it was. After a while, the first friend, the one who actually prepared for the marathon, decided she could not wait for her friend to recover any longer and took off without her. She finished the race and reconnected with her friend later, but by then, the friend was already upset with her for being left behind. 

The first friend thinks it's unfair to be expected to throw all her training away for someone who didn't even take it seriously, while the second friend claimed the marathon was supposed to be a shared experience and she shouldn't have ditched her halfway through. 

Scroll down to decide who you agree with.

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  • 01
    Two women running outside
    via Getty Images

    Two women running outside

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for ditching my friend in an Ultra Marathon

    I am a 22F, who has a lot of experience hiking and for the last year has been training regularly to compete in my first 31 mile ultra Marathon.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 03
    The training was 2-3x short runs per week and a trail run on most weekends. Two Months before the race, one of my girlfriends decided she wanted to compete and push herself aswell.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 04
    I suggested that "Two months would probably not be enough time to train up her joints, especially when she often gets knee paid during hikes".
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 05
    But she decided to sign up anyways. As, she was now committed, I tried to help her prepare as much as possible suggesting that she comes on trial runs weekly with me.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 06
    However, she only ended up coming on four short trial runs and struggled a lot throughout them.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 07
    As to my knowledge she also, didn't train her legs for knee health. On race day, I ran with her for the first 8miles of so without issue, however at Mile 8 she stated she need to have a rest and walk.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 08
    I did this with her for 15-20minutes then suggested we get back to running. At this point she would run for 5-10 minutes then walk for 5 saying her knees hurt too much.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 09
    At this point I said that "I am leaving to complete this race, as I've been training roughly a year".
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 10
    I ended up finishing the race and she ended up DQ, roughly 1H and a half hours later.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 11
    Once, we met up after the race, she was complaining that "We were meant to do this together" and that it was wrong to ditch her when she was so exhausted and in pain.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 12
    I want to make it clear that, she was in no risk of danger. Everyone is required to have GPS trackers on them and other safety equipment.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 13
    It is a equipment before starting the race. Now, Every time we meet up she makes it a point of saying how selfish I was at this point, and how much it goes against friendship values.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 14
    To me, if she just trained properly none of this would have been an issue. And she wasn't valuing the commitment i've made for the last year.
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 15
    Athlete runner feet running in park
    via charliepix

    Athlete runner feet running in park.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    Cutiepatootx NTA, the fact you trained so hard, and she made the race about her is not cool. You spent over a year training and she wanted you to give up all that hard work.
    via Cutiepatootx
  • 17
    SilkSecretsx Original Poster's Reply Yea, I tend to feel the same. I trained so hard for this
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 18
    Prestigious_Elk353 NTA. "Friendship values" extends both ways and means acknowledging when someone has dedicated themselves to training for something that matters to them and not arrogantly crashing last minute and expecting them to change their goals for it. I'm no runner, not athletic. But I know what goes into training and would never expect a friend to compromise that unless they were in actual danger / crisis.
    via Prestigious_Elk353
  • 19
    SilkSecretsx Original Poster's Reply If she was in danger I never would have left. These races are very safe with lots of safety precautions
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 20
    suggie75 NTA. Your friend sounds disappointed and wants someone to blame and you're a convenient target. She kind of sks honestly.
    via suggie75
  • 21
    CatsMom4Ever NTA. It wasn't a "fun run". It was a competition. And she had to drop out anyway. She didn't put in the work needed to finish, but she expected you to drop everything and quit with her? No.
    via CatsMom4Ever
  • 22
    Glass-Satisfaction 19 NTA and personally I wouldn't even had stopped to walk. That would've ruined it for me.
    via Glass-Satisfaction19
  • 23
    SilkSecretsx Original Poster's Reply It did, it took me a while to get my rhythm back. Like stopping and starting is hard. Takes you straight out of the mental
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 24
    Sweeper 1985 Info: Did you ever actually SAY you would run the race together with her? Cause I don't see that anywhere, just her presumption that you would be willing to do that if she signed up. Presuming you didn't - NTA and she should get real.
    via Sweeper1985
  • 25
    SilkSecretsx Original Poster's Reply No, I never did. I just helped her train. Cause, I wanted to help her achieve her goals. Normally, it is pretty hard for multiple people to run Ultras together as you want to pace it to your on rhythm
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 26
    ZeroAmusement Nta Two months before the race? Is this girl crazy? had she even done marathons before? What gave her that confidence? I wouldn't have even slowed down for 15/20 min. You do your best, that's the point
    via ZeroAmusement
  • 27
    Siligurl77 Definitely NTA! She injected herself into your plans and didn't even attempt to do the work necessary! You worked hard and deserved to finish that race without being held back! A TRUE friend would've never put you in that position and would be proud of you!
    via Siligurl77
  • 28
    FootballPaPa I mean I would have stayed with my friend, and then done one at a later time alone. She most likely just wanted to spend time with you and didn't care about the race that much, sks all the training goes to waste but friendship is more important then most things. Your not the a hole and you can value what you want it's your life, but I wish I had friends that wanted to spend time with me like her
    via FootballPaPa
  • 29
    SilkSecretsx Original Poster's Reply Yea, but she didn't even put effort into the training. She knew I was planning on running it for a year. I suggested that she should train longer and run a different one. 2 months to prepare for a 31mile trail run is something
    via SilkSecretsx
  • 30
    Fine-for-now NTA You had a goal - finish the ultra marathon. You trained for it, you probably set yourself a time to beat or to make, you set a plan. Your friend decided that this was a fun day out for friends and tried to hijack your plans. Insuffiencient training was on her, you shouldn't have to put aside your goals to accomodate.
    via Fine-for-now

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