'If you cook, someone else does dishes': 20+ Family rules that make every household better

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 26, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

Why do families bicker? 

Well, to answer that question, you'll have to ask 10,000 more queries. Why can't siblings share a cookie equally? Why does Grandma insist she knows better about the internet than we do? Should the TV really be on during dinner? Who's washing the dishes this time? Are the second cousins not allowed to come over anymore because of the tree house collapse incident? Who took my headphones?!

The list goes on and on…

In a nutshell, families spend far too much time together to get along amicably all the time. Households juggle more than just soccer schedules, school plays, science projects, and work conferences. There is a constant balancing act of the personalities, as siblings learn to get along, parents work together to solve problems, and grandparents fall asleep on the couch with the family dog. While there are many opportunities for disruption in a delicate household ecosystem, there are also a myriad of ways that family rules can provide the unavoidable structure everyone craves. 

To avoid building animosity between one another, relatives and live-in family members can follow a simple set of instructions, 'rules' if you will, that help everyone play nice. Following the laws of playground society, family rules can keep players under a strict code of conduct and encourage sportsmanlike behavior, even when sisters are at each other's throats, cousins are causing chaos, and the neighbor's dog jumped the fence again. 

While we would never want to remove ALL of the chaos from our calamitous families, because it's the cracks in the perfection that make every family unit unique, sometimes it's nice to know that everyone will at least adhere to common decency. Ultimately, at the end of every day, while you may not always agree with your family members, they're still family, and that's the glue that binds together every wholesome household. 

Genetically or chosen, a family will always end up by your side, especially if you can follow a few simple rules as a reminder of your underlying love. 

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  • SPFamily playing together outside with young children on a bike.
    via Yan Krakau

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • What's a "house rule" in your family (growing up or current) that you really like and why? Whether it facilitates better communication, household function, whatever!
    via ultrahedgehog
  • TamtasticV... You can be mad. You can't be mean. I repeat this a lot with our two toddlers
    via TamtasticV
  • MasterpieceSafe8... Whoever divides a cookie, or a drink, or whatever, doesn't get to pick. If I cut a cookie in half, my brother got to choose what side he wants.
    via MasterpieceSafe8

  • Siblings always try to shortchange their sisters or brothers. 

    No matter which way you slice this rule, the person who does the division is left to wonder if they split it evenly enough. This makes me think of the German pretzel slicing competitions, where the winner is chosen based on the most perfectly split pretzel. Likewise, this rule gives siblings something else to fight about apart from unequal shares: Precision. 

  • ultrahedgehog OP. My family growing up had/has a rule that if we are picking a restaurant, movie, etc., in order to give a valid veto to someone else's suggestion, you MUST provide a serious alternative suggestion. Cuts out so many potential conflicts or frustrating situations.
    via ultrahedgehog
  • melindseyme ⚫ Winners clean up the game.
    via melindseyme

  • I've always been a bad loser when it comes to board games. 

    After losing a game, and as the rage courses through my veins, at least it would be nice to know that the winners are cleaning up the pieces. We wouldn't want to add insult to injury. At least my sister can clean up a big ol' board game while she gloats about her winnings. 

  • wildeag I kind of like the "no tv at the dinner table, we talk to each other." Didn't much care for it as a kid, I always missed wheel of fortune.
    via wildeag
  • Belle0516. My dad, grandpa, and I had a "walk every night" rule, minus when one of very sick or hurt or we were on vacation We talked, the dog had a good time, we stayed active,
    via Belle0516
  • we got to know our neighbors, it was great! My husband and I continued it, and now that my dad lives nearby, he's joining us too with his new puppy!
    via ultrahedgehog
  • Family playing together outside with young children on a bike.
    via Yan Krakau

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • here4BB whenever anyone gets sick, my mom used to disinfect every single corner of the house and wash the floors and cook soup. when i get sick now, i always feel like deep cleaning as soon as I'm on the mend.
    via here4BB
  • ClaireHux You're required to leave a space in the same condition which you first found it. Boils down to clean up after yourself.
    via ClaireHux
  • Two brothers washing the dishes together.
    via DGLImages

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • BrooklynNotNY My parents didn't believe in toys or electronics in the bedroom. Bedrooms were for sleeping only. It's a rule I still adhere to and I'm sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow most nights.
    via BrooklynNotNY
  • jabbersense My husband and I have a rule that if you critique someone doing a chore without the intention of actually helping, then you have to drop everything and take over that chore now. It helps to stop micromanaging and reminds us to be grateful that chores are even getting done lol
    via jabbersense
  • MostlyChaotic Neu... If you cook dinner, someone else does the dishes and puts up leftovers. Everyone rinses their own plates, and cleaning as you cook is appreciated, but no one has to do both chores in a single night.
    via MostlyChaotic
  • trulymadlybigl Tiny house with poor ventilation and one bathroom here: we are strong believers in the "Courtesy Flush"
    via trulymadlybigl
  • sp000kysoup 24 hour rule. You have 24 hours to eat your leftovers or it's fair game.
    via sp000kysoup

  • With a communal fridge, it's hard to keep track of what's yours. 

    Anyone who's lived with roommates knows that it's not uncommon for their leftovers to magically disappear overnight, but when it comes to family, that's a grudge that'll never be forgotten. At least if you know your day-old noodles will be up for grabs within 24 hours, that give the noodle owner the urgency to eat before it's too late! 

    You snooze, you lose. 

  • kiwitathegreat Snarky comment rule: if you said something under your breath, you had to be willing to repeat it at a normal volume if asked.
    via kiwitathegreat
  • We're all super argumentative so this cut down on the "wait what did you just say" fights. And we're all willing to say it with our chests, if you will, so there's not a lot of mumbled comments anymore.
    via kiwitathegreat
  • It seems like it'd create problems but honestly it prevented escalation and simmering hostility by dealing with it then and there.
    via kiwitathegreat
  • insertcaffeine This rule started when my twin brother, ex-husband, and I started living together in our early 20s, and Twin Bro and I have carried it over to every household we've lived in: Keep being polite.
    via insertcaffeine
  • When people get really used to each other, politeness is often dropped (and I'm honestly not sure why; is it thought to be implied? are we so close that we don't need it?). We decided to keep it up,
    via insertcaffeine
  • and it made the house we lived in more pleasant. It was easier to communicate, and we each knew that the others were being considerate.
    via insertcaffeine
  • Hazelstone37 . We have a crying chair for the grandkids to sit in when they are trying to regulate their emotions. All crying happens in that chair. No one else sits there while someone is crying or trying to not cry unless they are invited.
    via Hazelstone37
  • DiviFail. If you misheard, you have to repeat what you heard before being told what was actually said. Often it's something hilarious and brings laughter.
    via DiviFail
  • knitbitch007 Wasn't really a "rule" but we had a small TV in the kitchen and we would watch the news during dinner. I am grateful we did. My sister and I grew up informed and we were able to ask our parents questions. I learned so much.
    via knitbitch007
  • Oakandlvy_9586 When you leave a room, turn off the light and what ever else is on. (TV, lamps, etc) My current household hasn't mastered this yet.
    via Oakandlvy_9586
  • lovelette_r. We always end phone calls, visits, leaving the house with an "I love you." You can't hear it too many times and if God forbid it's the last time we speak, I'll know it was the last thing we said.
    via lovelette_r

  • Ending any conversation with an affirmation of affection is kind of nice. 

    Even when it's rehearsed or comes off with less-than-enthusiastic sincerity, you know deep down that when it comes to family, the words are always true. 

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rules wholesome siblings household family parents
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