New parents request no visitors for first week of baby's life, grandparents immediately book flight to see them: 'I am not in any place to have company'

The first few weeks of having a new baby are one of the most exhausting times for parents.

At this point, life revolves around wake-ups, attempting to find a semblance of routine, and recovery from birth. For many parents, and especially moms, they can barely feel like there is time to shower, let alone do all the things they could do before the baby arrives. It is a lot.

This can be a time when having family members to help is a godsend, and it is something that many new parents rely on. However, this kind of arrangement can also end up bringing more difficulties, as opposed to easing the burden. Grandparents and other relatives can have their own fixed ideas about the best thing to do during this time, which only creates more stress.

It is no wonder that many parents of newborns try to enforce hard rules about who can come to visit and when. They have enough to deal with and worry about without bringing complicated family dynamics into the mix. They deserve to have the time to themselves, allowing them to acclimatize to their new life in peace. Meddling relatives are unable to help out with that.

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  • A mom smiles as she holds a newborn baby with a dad kissing the baby's head behind her
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A mom smiles as she holds a newborn baby with a dad kissing the baby's head behind her

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a new mom and her husband had specifically requested no guests for the first week of their baby's life. Despite this, her in-laws booked a flight across the country to see them without telling anybody, completely ignoring the boundary they had set.

    With the mom only just home from the hospital, she was having a rough time prioritizing her recovery. Her husband had told his parents that they would not be able to see them that day, and that already upset them. The woman was left wondering if she was being too harsh on the grandparents excited to see their first grandchild.

  • Am I wrong for not allowing my in laws to come over the first day when they booked a flight without telling us?

    I just had my baby on Tuesday. My husband and I made it super clear that we wanted no visitors for a week after he's born.
    via q_Quit_712
  • We live across the country. My MIL said to my husband that it was "honestly mean" to do that to people, but we were under the impression that they understood.
    via q_Quit_712
  • We both want time alone to bond with the baby. Plus I had a c section and need time to recover.
    via q_Quit_712
  • Well, they booked a flight for this weekend and arrived today without telling anybody until the flight was already booked.
    via q_Quit_712
  • My husband spoke to my FIL and told him how upset he is that nobody listens to him, but his dad kept talking about how it was the only time they could vacation for work, the flights were cheap for these days, how they need to be back for Easter, etc.
    via q_Quit_712
  • We just got home from the hospital Thursday and it's been rough for me. My shirts are drenched in milk, I'm sore, and I am not in any place to have company.
    via q_Quit_712
  • They arrived this morning, and my husband told them that they can't stop by today. They seemed upset but went back to their hotel and that's the last I heard.
    via q_Quit_712
  • When my husband asked why nobody listened to us, their only response was "you have no idea how hard it is in the beginning, and we just want to help" I know it comes from a place of love.
    via q_Quit_712
  • We know they're excited for their first grandchild. But I feel completely overwhelmed and disrespected and don't know what to do about this situation.
    via q_Quit_712
  • My baby is feeding and gets hungry every 30 min sometimes. It's going to be so awkward for me to keep running back into my bedroom to nurse.
    via q_Quit_712
  • Cheezburger Image 10619761920
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    An older couple carrying travel bags takes an escalator in an airport

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • sherirobinson5 NOR. It's too bad they had to go and make a super exciting and joyful thing a stressful, awkward situation.
    via sherirobinson5
  • StateofMind70 NOR. And they just got off planes full of people coughing and what not. Sure, we'll just hand over a 4 day old baby.
    via StateofMind70
  • AlexNKarlie NOR I visited my best friend two days after she came home from the hospital after a c section. I told her to stay upstairs with the baby and I cooked and clean and went to the store for them. I saw the baby for the first time at three weeks. I remember doing a lot of laundry lol. Your in laws didn't even pretend to be accommodating they just did what they wanted.
    via AlexNKarlie
  • Waste_Worker6122 "I know it comes from a place of love." I'm not so sure. Their behavior sounds like it comes from a place of entitlement and self- centeredness. NTA.
    via Waste_Worker6122
  • Sapphire-Donut1214 Do not give in. Do not let them come. If you do, it will I never stop. They will ALWAYS walk all over your boundaries. They did this because they knew you would say no. And were only thinking of themselves. They have no respect. Your husband needs to tell them, sorry NOT sorry. They should have listened. They will not be meeting the baby. And if they continue to walk all over your boundaries they never will. Please do not give in. You will grow to resent them and than your hus
    via Sapphire-Donut1214
  • Foxconlab It doesn't come from a place of love. It comes from a place of control. They don't care about your wishes, your comfort, your boundaries. I'm glad you and your husband are on one side and he protects his peace. Stick to your plan and don't allow your in-laws to come over. They should learn the lesson.
    via Foxconlab
  • Franklyenergized_12 "We told you No and our answer hasn't changed. Have a safe flight home."
    via Franklyenergized_12

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