34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 2, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

Growing up in a big family can be a blessing or a curse, usually depending on how early you were born into the family. 

If you are the firstborn child, or even in second or third place, you were probably expected to help whenever a new sibling joined the family, which could have caused you to resent your parents every time they decided to expand the family further. By the sixth or seventh sibling, all the older kids have become full-time babysitters, and as much as it could be fun to have so many brothers and sisters, sharing a household with so many people brings many struggles that kids should not be forced to deal with.

Those are the exact reasons why the sibling below decided to get some space from their family once they were old enough to leave the crowded house. With eight siblings and ten people in the family altogether, no one even had a moment to themselves, and as time went by, the family only grew even bigger.

After getting out of the house, this sibling decided they would rather stay single than have kids, but their 7 siblings did not feel the same. Each of them got married and had children, which is why the family now has 35 people in it, children and spouses included.

The single sibling knew that most of their brothers and sisters were having a hard time financially, especially as the family kept expanding, but they also knew there was no way they could help them all. Instead, they decided to only help the parents and made them promise that the money would not go to any of their other children. However, the rest of the family found out about the help and started making demands of their own. Suddenly, the single sibling was expected to support 35 family members, which was the exact thing they were trying to avoid.

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  • A man with a beard standing in front of a bridge
    via A. C.

    A man with a beard standing in front of a bridge

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Aitah because I will not help out my siblings financially since we all earn about the same money?

    I grew up in a large family. I have seven siblings. So ten of us all together when we include my parents.
    via MixAble829
  • I love each and every one of them individually. As a group I hate them. I hated growing up with them.
    via MixAble829
  • I hated being port despite my dad making good money. I hated the wait for the bathroom.
    via MixAble829
  • I hated sharing a room. I hated having no social life because I had to help with my younger siblings.
    via MixAble829
  • Most of all I hated that I knew all of my siblings were going to do the same thing.
    via MixAble829
  • My oldest brother started his family straight out of college. While in a fair bit of debt from said education.
    via MixAble829
  • My oldest sister didn't bothe with college and had her first two months after graduation from high school.
    via MixAble829
  • That's my nephew Ryan. He got added to the like of kids I had to help with whenever she came over to visit.
    via MixAble829
  • I knew by age six I was never going to have kids. I knew it would make me an oddity in my family.
    via MixAble829
  • I knew my parents couldn't afford to help with my education. So I did it for myself.
    via MixAble829
  • I got an academic scholarship. Not to an elite university or anything like that. But not in my home town.
    via MixAble829
  • I didn't tell anyone. I had to threaten my school counselor with dropping out to get her to understand how serious I was about her not contacting my family to discuss my future.
    via MixAble829
  • Well I'm 34 now and the outcast in my family. I have a big dumb dog called Howard.
    via MixAble829
  • He is old but our walks are the highlight of most of my days. All my neighbors know is and he loves getting attention from everyone.
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  • My siblings have 22 children between them. And are all either working way too hard to support themselves and their families or popping out kids.
    via MixAble829
  • Howard and I come to visit all the time. I have a lot of flexibility with my career so we roadtrip to see my family and stay at a hotel so we can GT O whenever we want.
    via MixAble829
  • I take my parents out to restaurants and outings when I visit. There is an excellent doggy daycare that caters to my boy's needs when he can't join us.
    via MixAble829
  • I also help them out with emergency cash if warranted. I was very clear that if I ever found out they took money from me that I had given them for themselves and they gave it to my siblings I would not ever give them money again.
    via MixAble829
  • They said the money was a gift and not my business how they spent it. I just repeated my warning.
    via MixAble829
  • My siblings all found out. They said I have lots of money and I could afford to help.
    via MixAble829
  • I drew them each a picture with crayons on construction paper. It very clearly explained how me not spending all my time and money having children I cannot afford leaves money on the table for me to spend on a great apartment and a car big enough for Howard and I.
    via MixAble829
  • Yes I know this was a move. I'm not asking about this. I then explained that my money wasn't enough to make any difference in all their lives.
    via MixAble829
  • A group of people posing for a photo in front of a yellow building
    via Hoi An and Da Nang Photographer

    A group of people posing for a photo in front of a yellow building.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • There are 35 of them all together. Two parents, two kids in college. Ten people in marriages, and twenty one kids.
    via MixAble829
  • 35 people. My salary will not make a dent in all.their needs. I made it clear that my money was not for them.
    via MixAble829

  • As someone who grew up with 23 cousins, I know what it feels like to get lost in a huge family, and why some people feel the need to put some distance between themselves and their loud family. I also know that there is no way I would agree to give any one of my family members money to finance their poor decisions, which is exactly what I believe this sibling should do as well.

  • I only got a response from my youngest sister. She is in community college and she is being pressed about when she is going to get married and have kids.
    via MixAble829
  • I told her that I would help her if she promised to finish her education and not have kids for at least two years after graduating.
    via MixAble829
  • She said that was going to be tough with all the pressure. I told her to think about it and let me know.
    via MixAble829
  • She got pregnant and didn't graduate. 36 now. The economy my siblings are living in is not the same one our parents raised us in.
    via MixAble829
  • My brother is in danger of foreclosure. My sister is twenty and living with her husband's family while he finishes college.
    via MixAble829
  • The rest all fall somewhere in between. I'm the only one who got out. And they are constantly begging for help since I have so much.
    via MixAble829
  • I don't. I earn less than my brother. I just don't have a spouse and five kids to support.
    via MixAble829
  • I feel bad when Howard and I go on vacation and stuff. But the money I spend split 36 ways will buy them each one week of groceries.
    via MixAble829
  • What happens next week you know? I feel about not helping them more but I know if I give in it will never stop.
    via MixAble829
  • Am I the ah le for not at least trying to help?
    via MixAble829

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family drama kids brother mother siblings parenting aunt family sister money women parents children Father
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