30-year-old dogsitter can't figure out any of the household appliances, sparking parenting debate over the importance of giving kids chores: ‘They’re failing at being adults’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 3, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Adulting is hard, sure, but if you can't operate a washing machine by your 20s or 30s, something's amiss. 

Obviously, people have different thresholds and standards set for them by their parents during their formative childhood years that will ultimately shape who they become in their adulthood. Oftentimes, hindsight has 20/20 vision looking back on entirely incompetent adults or overly mature teenagers, but there are a few parenting decisions that have been tossed by the wayside since our parents' era. And we're really starting to see the effects…

Chores, namely, are not as brutal or as common as they once were. Back in my dear old meemaw's day, kids worked on the farm like little free day-laborers, acting like tiny cowboys and mini adults from the time they were 7 or 8 years old. These kids made turkey dinners and hunted deer before their teenage years, and they were considered "responsible adults" by the time their next sibling was born. Bestowed with responsibility at such a young age, those kids grew up to be extraordinarily mature old souls who reminisced on the days of their childhood lost to manual labor. 

Conversely, some kids are born into plushier situations, never lifting a finger until they're forced to in their 20s and learning to boil water during their university years. I once had a college roommate who didn't know how to use a microwave; at the time, I assumed it was weaponized incompetence, but in truth, she just genuinely never had to fend for herself in any way, which turned out to be an egregious disservice in her adulthood. 

Just like the dogsitter in this next story, who proved to be completely incompetent, some people learn far too late how to function.

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  • Young man struggling to figure out the washing machine.
    via Vlad Dmytrenko

    Young man struggling to figure out the washing machine. 

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • We just had a 30m friend of ours house sit and watch our pets. He's a very nice guy but his parents have done a disservice to him by doing everything for him and financially supporting him.
    via shootingstar_9324
  • We came home and one of our pets had an accident on a blanket. Rather than putting in the washer, he left it wet with pas on the wood floor.
    via shootingstar_9342
  • Cute dog making a mess in the house.
    via pixelshot

    Cute dog making a mess in the house. 

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • First off, wet things on the floor warps the wood. Second, he couldn't figure out the washer.
    via shootingstar_9324
  • There are SO many videos online that one video would show him how. Third, he ran the dishwasher but haphazardly put the dishes in and the washer couldn't fully function with the jets.
    via shootingstar_9324
  • Loading the dishwasher with a few dishes before launching a new wash cycle.
    via Aurelian Lupus

    Loading the dishwasher with a few dishes before launching a new wash cycle.

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • Dishes filled with water and a plastic top was partially melted on the bottom rack. For the sake of your children, make them do chores.
    via shootingstar_9324
  • It's valuable life skills that they need and it's your job to teach them.
    via shootingstar_9324

  • Parents need to toe the line between child labor and raising prima donna princess, but if your grown, 30-year-old child never learned how to use a washing machine, a dishwasher, or any other kind of household appliance before moving out of your custody, you missed the plot a little on the importance of chores. Allowance or no allowance, kids need to learn how to become functioning adults, one way or another, and chores are a simple way to get there.

  • CobblerSmall1891 I was at Uni, we were all 20+. Mate knocks on my door and asks how to cook pasta. I'll never forget this. "Put it in the water and wait as long as the packet tells you". "Ok, thanks"
    via CobblerSmall1891
  • AntJo4 I work with young men in their early twenties. You can tell the ones whose parents prepared them for the world and those who did not. Growing up is hard enough, at least prepare them for it. And it's almost exclusively boys, start recognizing the men who think a woman is going to come and save them are going to be the ones women won't touch.
    via AntJo4
  • LadyInCrimson When I met my husband he didn't know how to sweep, mop, do laundry, cook. His parents laughed when he moved in saying "he can't take care of himself " I laughed back and said "he's going to learn" guess who can cook and do laundry and sweep and mop? Both of us. Guess who's eating their words? My inlaws.
    via LadyInCrimson
  • AppropriatePrompt819 My son (14) can do laundry (his own, won't let him wash my underwear), vacuum, fill and start the dishwasher, dry dishes and put them away, he can cook simple meals on the stove or microwave, and he takes the recycleables to the garage and sorts them.
    via AppropriatePrompt819
  • Fearless_Mammoth_961 He is 30. Blaming his parents at this point is absurd.
    via Fearless_Mammoth_961
  • OneLonelyBeastiel-B I have adult kids and kids still at home. Doing chores is non negotiable- and I have set up a pay for chore system mainly to teach them also about money management because I don't want them to fail at finances, either. Working with people who have no idea how to clean, do basic skills or even make change is wild.
    via OneLonelyBeastiel
  • tomtink1 I never had to do chores as a kid. I would never leave a po soaked blanket around the house. There's not being taught properly and there is also willful ignorance.
    via tomtink1
  • Capital Specific3389 I was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. I thought it was my job to do all the cooking/cleaning/yard work/everything. That's what a stay-at-home mom does, right? Takes care of everyone. Do you know what I ended up with? Adult children who don't do anything! My oldest can't even make spaghetti. So, yes, make your children do chores. Learn from my mistakes
    via Capital Specific3389
  • whiskeynlemonade Yes, please learn from my mistake. I grew up in an extremely strict household where us girls had to do everything. I was cooking tea for everyone at around eight. We lived on a farm so every spare moment was filled with chores. They were never ever able to be done to satisfaction of my parents and as we got older it only increased.
    via whiskeynlemonade
  • When I had my own 2 kids I refused to have them do chores. I went too far the other way. I was adamant that their job was just to be kids.
    via whiskeynlemonade
  • I now have a 15yr old who can not do anything. We have started chores now but I am now stressed that we are 3 years away from him leaving home (and he is quite excited and motivated to leave to uni etc) but he is quite useless. We have to cram a lot of learning into that three years.
    via whiskeynlemonade
  • Thankfully the other one is ten so we have started him with chores now. He is still at the age where they are fun so that's a plus.
    via whiskeynlemonade
  • Pandarise Give them chores, give them ACTUAL punishments and consequences for their bad actions. ANYTHING THAN JUST PUTTING AN IPAD/PHONE OR TV INFRONT OF THE KID TO GO ON YOUR OWN PHONE/TABLET TO ROT ONLINE!!!
    via Pandarise
  • And biggest of all, SAY NO TO YOUR KID D IN IT!!! IT'S NOT A SIN OR AB E!! The amount of children I had to 'wrangle' during scouting events because they are used to being catered to is HIGHLY disappointing. And let me
    via Pandarise
  • just answer this before anyone even asks, these children were sent to scouting by their parents so the PARENTS can have few hours without their kid and forget to pick up their kid back when we're
    via Pandarise
  • finished. Not prejudice btw, I've had parents tell me that right to my face and I kid none of you how I even had to PARENT THE PARENTS.
    via Pandarise

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childhood parenting chores parents
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