‘I went behind her back’: Cat-sitter makes executive decision to take kitty for emergency treatment, cat owner accuses her of overstepping boundaries

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Apr 9, 2026 8:45 AM EDT

A situation no cat sitter ever wants to face is one where they're forced to make a decision about the cat's health while the owner is away. Especially not if they're going to be treated like they did the wrong thing.

Everybody thinks being a cat sitter is an easy job, but that is far from the truth. You are charged with taking care of someone's most precious family member, with no way of communicating with them directly (unless some of you out there speak cat, and in which case, teach us your ways). Is it a lot of physical labor? No, but the job itself holds a lot of responsibility. And if you are faced with the purrfectly difficult decision of making a medical choice while the owner is away, the responsibility of your actions will weigh on you heavily.

While cat sitting for a friend, the cat sitter noticed that the kitty wouldn't stop scratching their ears. After contacting the owner, who wrote it off, the cat sitter decided to take matters into her own hands and bring the cat to the vet. She paid the $190 bill for the exam and medicine, and learned that there might have been purrmanent damage if she hadn't gotten help when she did. Happy with her report, what she didn't expect was the cold shoulder from the friend and pawrent upon her return.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10621566976
    via betyarlaca

    Cute orange cat scratching its ear outdoors

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My neighbor asked me to watch her cat Miso for eight days while she was visiting family out of state.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 03
    We're friendly, I like Miso, it wasn't a complicated ask. She left me the food, the feeding schedule, and her vet's contact info "just in case." On day three Miso started scratching her left ear constantly and shaking her head.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
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  • 05
    I texted my neighbor right away and described exactly what I was seeing. She read it and didn't respond for almost six hours.
    via MosEisley3_Arc

  • As a pet sitter, you have a moral obligation to keep the pets safe, so what should she have done differently if she clearly saw that the cat was in distress? She acted in the cat's best interest, but appawrently, that didn't line up with her pawrent's desires. In this case, we're always going to go with the cat.

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    via MosEisley3_Arc
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    By that evening Miso was holding her head at a tilt and the scratching had gotten worse.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
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    I called the vet number I'd been left, explained the situation, and they said to bring her in.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
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    via pixelshot

    Veterinarian Examining Cute Cat after Sterilization in Vet Clinic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    So I did. Turns out she had a pretty signficant ear infection. The vet said if it had gone another few days without treatment there was real risk of permanent hearing damage.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 11
    They gave her medication, sent us home with instructions. Total was $190. I paid it myself and figured we'd settle it when my neighbor got back.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
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    via MosEisley3_Arc

  • Happy with her report, she told the cat owner everything when she came home, but didn't expect to receive such a terrible response. She accused the cat sitter of overstepping boundaries, and insisted that the cat was fine.

    The cat owner may have been salty, but we believe the cat sitter did the right thing. Should she have asked purrmission first? Yes. But should the cat owner have dealt with this problem like a responsible pawrent? Also yes.

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  • 15
    'She knows she [messed] up as an owner'
    via Konstantin Savusia

    Man's Hand Scratches behind ear of Fluffy Cat

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    But a few people I've talked to said I should have called my neighbor again before going instead of just acting.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 17
    Now I'm genuinely not sure. Was what I did actually wrong?
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 18
    OldBroad1964 No not wrong. But I would never cat sit for her again.
    via OldBroad1964
  • 19
    MosEisley3_Arc Original Poster's Reply Miso is great, so that part s ks. But yeah, if this is how she reacts after I paid $190 to stop her cat losing hearing, I'm probably done helping.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 20
    Ok_Advertising_5657 Miso was clearly suffering and you had the vet info for emergencies - ear infections definitely count as emergency. Your neighbor ignoring obvious pain symptoms for hours then brushing it off as "she does that sometimes" is actually concerning. You probably saved the cat from permanent damage and she's mad because she knows she screwed up as owner
    via Ok_Advertising_5657
  • 21
    MosEisley3_Arc Original Poster's Reply That part crossed my mind too. She got weirdly defensive the second I said the vet warned about hearing damage, which made it feel less like "you overstepped" and more like she knew she blew it.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 22
    norfolkandclue You're not wrong for caring about the cat and for taking care of them but you absolutely shouldn't have dropped it on the owners when they came back, it should have been discussed in detail before you went to the vet. You may have paid for it upfront but you handed them the receipt expecting them. to pay you back without even letting them know in advance. $190 is a lot for some people, you should have informed them before you paid for anything. They're a person for having a pet an
    via norfolkandclue
  • 23
    MosEisley3_Arc Original Poster's Reply I get that part. I probably should've called again before going in, even if she was ignoring me. But once the vet said "hearing damage" | wasn't going to wait around for a better group chat vibe. The receipt part maybe looked worse than I meant.
    via MosEisley3_Arc
  • 24
    superswaggy362 Sounds like she was comfortable ignoring this problem and when you went to the vet it became clear that she was a bad pet owner. But not only was it made clear to her, it was made clear to someone else which is embarrassing. I would not pet sit for her again, you did nothing wrong.
    via superswaggy362
  • 25
    modern_x You made the right choice taking Miso to the vet! Some people don't have the right mindset and/or the means to be a pet owner. Others simply lack the mental capacity and just can't handle the responsibility.
    via modern_x
  • 26
    sword_ofthe_morning Don't take this as a criticism (as I personally wouldn't have held it against you too much), but the only thing you did wrong was not running it by her. You went ahead and did the following.... - take the cat to the vet - action treatment on the cat - generate a large bill ....all without her knowledge. So it's not out of the world for her to be surprised by it when returning, and feeling strange about it. It's her cat and her bill that she has to pay, so getting confirmation
    via sword_ofthe_morning

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pet sitter cat sitter cat owners kitty vet boundaries Cats animals
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