19-year-old gifts friend $300 birthday presents, receives nothing for her own birthday: 'She told me... she was "going all out" for my birthday'

These 2 teens have birthdays that are just a month apart, but their celebrations were nowhere near equal

People celebrate their birthdays in all kinds of ways. 

Some people barely do anything except answering "Happy Birthday" texts from their friends and family all day. 

Other people go big with it, deeming the entire month to be their birthday month. And most of us are somewhere in between, maybe having a modest party or treating ourselves to a nice trip. 

These 19-year-old friends have birthdays in January and February respectively, which can make for a fun period of celebration. But that's not exactly how things went down, as one of the 19-year-olds explained.

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  • Birthday teens surrounded by their gift hauls and wrapped presents.
    via Getty Images

    Birthday teens surrounded by their gift hauls and wrapped presents.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My friend’s birthday was in January and mine was February 19

    For her birthday, I bought her a workout set that cost almost $200, which was what she asked for.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • I even had to return the original one and get a different one because she didn't like it, and I replaced some other items too.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • After already knowing how much I was spending, she kept asking for more things like a Jellycat, phone case, body scrub, and other extras.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • She told me I should get them because she was "going all out" for my birthday and was going to make me a basket.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • Teen friends surrounded by birthday presents and birthday balloons.
    via Getty Images

    Teen friends surrounded by birthday presents and birthday balloons. 

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I ended up spending over $300 total. When my birthday came, she told me she already knew what to get me.
    via PresentLetterhead679

  • Ok, pause. This is like… way too much money to be spending on birthday presents. 

    Even for your partner, or your best friend, do you really spend hundreds on them for every birthday? Maybe for milestone birthdays you splurge on them. But at 19, you're probably still working a minimum wage job. You might be in college, with student loans weighing you down. Plunking down $300+ on your bestie might be fun, but it is quite a big chunk of money. 

    And now, this teen is realizing that maybe her friend isn't actually such a good friend to her, after all… 

  • About a month ago, we were in Aritzia together and she told me she was ordering me a Villa Blue sweatset.
    via PresentLetterhead679

  • Oh NO

    The problem is that it's now almost two months since my birthday, and I still haven't gotten anything.
    via PresentLetterhead679

    Worst case scenario! She can't complain without seeming needy and. demanding. However, you could totally argue that the friend was being super demanding, adding on gifts that spiked the price of the birthday gifts really high. 

  • She told me the original gift actually came, but instead of just giving it to me, she said she saw another color she liked better and wanted to exchange it.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • I told her I liked the original color, but she basically said it was her gift and her choice.
    via PresentLetterhead679

  • What an awkward conundrum!

    At that point I told her not to worry about getting me anything anymore. I'm not upset just because of the gift itself.
    via PresentLetterhead679

    So to recap that last bit, the friend bought her an outfit, only to then return it for some reason, even though this teen says she liked the original color it was purchased in. I'm curious if this person ever confirmed that the gift was even purchased in the first place. And why wouldn't her friend repurchase it? There's no way it could've slipped her mind. 

  • I'm upset because she expected a lot from me, kept asking for more after I had already spent a lot, said she was going "all out" for mine too, and then dragged out my gift for almost two months even after it had already arrived.
    via PresentLetterhead679

  • I think this is 100% correct

    At this point, it feels like she never ordered a gift in the first place and shes lying to me.
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • AITA for feeling hurt and used
    via PresentLetterhead679
  • The group of teen friends talk together.
    via Getty Images

    The group of teen friends talk together.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • VeterinarianSweaty63 Your feelings are totally valid. I'd keep an eye on this friend. I don't like empty promises!!
    via VeterinarianSweaty63

  • I wonder what she'd say if this woman gently brought it up

    OP PresentLetterhead679 Yes exactly! It feels like false promises atp. I'd rather her be honest about not getting me anything than lead me to believe I was getting something. At this point, I just feel lied to and deceived.
    via PresentLetterhead679

    Maybe she could mention working out, and then ask about the outfit she was supposed to receive, using the most casual of tones. Something like, "Did the store ever get back to you about sending a replacement?" That gives the friend the ability to save face, and once the reminder has been set in place, this woman can determine whether or not her friend is "forgetful" or just a fake friend. 

  • VeterinarianSweaty63 I know this feeling all too well and I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you talked to her about it? I personally have a hard time with this type of behavior from others, sometimes I will mention it and other times I will just watch how they move and slowly start to distance myself. I need people around that are going to be intentional about our friendship, she had absolutely no problem getting you to meet her needs but for some reason she isn't following through on h
    via VeterinarianSweaty63

  • A final twist...

    OP PresentLetterhead679 I kind of did bring it up in a subtle way. When she started saying she was exchanging the gift for something else, I told her 'no worries, thanks for the thought, a gift isn't necessary. Since its almost two months and it felt like she was just pushing it at this point. She replied 'okay, it's fine, I'll keep it' which honestly made the whole thing feel even weirder to me. What also bothered me is that she got her boyfriend a Valentine's gift ahead of time, but my birthda
    via PresentLetterhead679

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