Dad protects his peace by DIYing noise-canceling bumpers on the kitchen cabinets when his family refuses to respect his rule to stop slamming the doors: ‘I hate loud noises’

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  • Man coming home from work and looking very tired.
  • [I'm] super gluing rubber bumpers on my kitchen cabinets because my family cannot understand what "don't slam the cabinets when I'm in the kitchen" means, and saying that the next step was removing the doors.

    I hate loud noises. Lucky me I work at a very noisy job. I like money more than I hate noise.
  • Plus I wear double hearing protection. Earplugs and noise cancelling ear muffs. My wife and I have been married for fifteen and a half years.
  • For our tenth anniversary I surprised her with a kitchen remodel. We had Formica countertops from the fifties.
  • Plywood cabinetry. The people from That 70s Show would have felt at home. I had done some shopping with my sister to make sure I wasn't going to over promise and under deliver.
  • I had been saving for this since we bought the house. The only thing that mattered to me was soft closing cabinets.
  • My wife agreed and was super happy with the budget. Then she changed plans and rather than put in her own money from her job she just got the extra things she wanted and cut out the hinges we had agreed on.
  • Married couple having a disagreement about finances and design in their kitchen.
  • And then her and the kids have proceeded to try to drive me crazy for five years.
  • I usually don't eat with the family because of my work hours. So whatever is left from their meal is mine.
  • try to eat in the kitchen in peace. Trust me I've tried eating in other rooms, even the basement.
  • My wife takes it as a personal insult that I want to be apart for m them after being gone all day.
  • I've tried talking to her about the slamming. I've tried talking to he and the kids about it.
  • I've bought little felt stickers and put them on. She took them off. A couple weeks weeks ago I was eating quietly after work.
  • And one of the kids needed something from the cabinets. Rather than just opening up the one where the item should have been my wife opened four doors.
  • And then rather than gently closing the cabinet she slammed all four of them shut like she was bugs Bunny inventing a new percussion instrument.
  • I didn't say anything. The next day I super glued rubber bumpers top and bottom on every door.
  • My wife is upset that the cabinet doors don't close properly. She tried removing one and pulled a sliver of oak off the door.
  • I used wood glue to fix it. It looks fine unless you really look. She tried cutting one off.
  • The bumpers are vulcanized rubber. They aren't going anywhere. She told me that I ruined her beautiful kitchen.
  • I told her that she and the kids seemed to take pleasure in me off with noise that could be avoided.
  • I told her to leave the bumpers alone and that if I found any missing that door would also go missing.
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  • All I want if fifteen minutes of peace to eat quietly. When we eat together there is all kinds of noise but it doesn't bother me.
  • That's just the noise a family makes. But it's like they wait until I get home to come skam the doors.
  • They are literally home for hours before I get home. And they have hours after I eat to go and get what they need.
  • Was I an a hole for my solution and the solution that will follow if they try to get undermine me?
  • flowersofcherry Honestly I'd be annoyed too. You've asked multiple times and they just ignore it, so yeah... at some point you're gonna fix it yourself. It's not even a big ask, just don't slam the cabinets. The fact that it keeps happening would drive anyone crazy. That said, this feels like it's about more than just noise. It kinda sounds like they're not taking you seriously, and that's the real issue. NTA
  • Any_Track2875 What??? NTA. I more tend to forget to close cabinets than slam them, but if it was as important to my partner as this is to you... it would be reasonable to find a solution. What's her justification for the slamming?
  • Basic Butterface It's not her kitchen, it's everyone's kitchen
  • smallmalexia3 NTA but it is absurd to the point of being \almost\ the tiniest bit comical that your wife seems to go to great lengths to ensure access to loud, slammable cabinets?!
  • belle-4 I'd go and buy all the soft close hinges and drawer slides you can find on eBay, OfferUp of FB marketplace. Your wife seems to have little regard for your need for peace and has showed the kids by example how to behave.
  • BeautifulChaos Energy Does your wife even like you? Why was she so against the soft close hinges especially since YOU were paying for them?
  • Decent-Muffin9530 I would go to couples counseling. This feels deeper than the cabinets. It feels like a battle for control and neither you nor your wife feel heard.
  • Local_business_disco Why did she cut the soft-close hinges from the budget? That coupled with the slamming almost seems intentional. I never slam cabinets unless on purpose. This is unhinged behavior, take the pun for whatever it's worth. 5 years man? I wouldn't have made it one week. NTA.
  • The_Bastard_Henry NTA. I grew up with an ab ive parent, and the sound of slamming doors is very jarring. Also there is literally no reason to slam doors when you're closing a kitchen cupboard.
  • RedFoxBlueSocks Those kids are going to be horrible roommates to someone someday.

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