Employee snoops through and writes in her coworker's notebook, gets offended when she asks her to stop: 'She said I was overreacting because it was just a notebook and not anything sensitive.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 12, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

In what world would looking at anyone's private journal be okay?

I can't think of anything more invasive and cruel to do to a teenager than reading their diary. You really shouldn't be reading anyone's diary unless you're trying to figure out the cause of their demise, ala Laura Palmer, or you're reading diaries that were written to be eventually read by the public, ala Presidents. I guess you could argue the latter is true for Laura Palmer, too, but just roll with me. For the average Joe, your diary is the place where all of their most intimate private thoughts go: the thoughts that can be even too difficult to say out loud, so they must be written. Even if someone's diary merely says what you ate for lunch that day, you shouldn't look inside of it unless you're comfortable with them getting incredibly upset. 

This applies to all kinds of notebooks and journals, even those that are not personal. Your coworker might have a "work journal" where they write all of their to-dos for the day, but who says that there isn's something insane in that notebook as well? It might be a combination work notebook and dream journal, where they document that just last night they had a dream in which you threw them into quicksand? Do you really want to know exactly what your coworker is writing in their private notebook? If anything, I am sure that they don't want you to know. 

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  • 01
    A woman sitting at a table with a book and pen
    via Toa Heftiba (Unsplash+)

    An employee is writing in her coworker's notebook while she's away from her desk.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy for telling a coworker not to go through my notebook after she read and repeated what I wrote?

    I work in a small office where most of us share supplies. Nothing is officially assigned, but people tend to respect what belongs to who.
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  • 03
    I keep a specific notebook at my desk where I write down ongoing tasks and ideas.
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  • 04
    Woman writing in her notebook to schedule an appointment
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The employee writes important notes and dates in her work notebook at her desk.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    It is not anything confidential, just personal organization that helps me stay on track. Last week I came back from lunch and noticed my notebook had been moved.
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  • 06
    At first I thought I had just forgotten where I left it, but when I opened it I saw a few pages flipped and a sticky note stuck inside that I definitely did not put there.
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  • 07
    Later that afternoon, a coworker casually mentioned something I had written in the notebook as if it were common knowledge.
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  • 08
    A group of people sitting around a table
    via Toa Heftiba (Unsplash+)

    An employee recalls the content of her coworker's private notebook. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    That is when it clicked that she had gone through it. I felt uneasy about it.
    via u/Top_Digg
  • 10
    Even if the content was not private in a strict sense, it still felt intrusive. The next day I spoke to her and said I would prefer if she did not look through my things without asking.
    via u/Top_Digg
  • 11
    She seemed surprised and said she thought it was fine since we all share materials and she was just trying to find information related to a project.
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  • 12
    She also said I was overreacting because it was just a notebook and not anything sensitive.
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  • 13
    I am not sure if I handled it the right way. I did not want to let it slide because it bothered me, but I also did not intend to create friction.
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  • 14
    Am I the j for calling her out on it?
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  • 15
    Practical_Hunt_7769 Your reaction was perfectly reasonable tbh. Just because supplies are shared doesn't mean personal work notes are fair game there's clear difference between grabbing a pen and going through someone's task list. She probably knows she crossed line and got defensive when called out on it.
    via u/Practical_Hunt_7769
  • 16
    Top_Digg Original Poster's Reply That is pretty much how I saw it too. I was not upset about the idea of sharing things in general, just the fact that she went through something that was clearly being used for my own tracking. I do think the defensiveness came from being called out more than anything else. It did not feel like she meant harm, but it still felt off to have it brushed aside like it was nothing. I just wanted to make it clear going forward without turning it into a bigger situation
    via u/Top_Digg
  • 17
    FamousEntertainers Looking is one thing, but quoting it back to you is what really pushes it into uncomfortable territory.
    via u/FamousEntertainers
  • 18
    Top_Digg Original Poster's Reply that part is what really stuck with me. If she had just glanced at it and moved on, I probably would have just felt mildly annoyed and left it alone. Hearing her repeat something I had written made it feel a lot more invasive than I expected.
    via u/Top_Digg
  • 19
    emilycarter92 You handled it more calmly than most people would. I would have been a lot sharper about it in the moment.
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  • 20
    Aromatic-Beyond-9998 Don't trust her. She will sabotage you if it gets her ahead professionally.
    via u/Aromatic-Beyond-9998
  • 21
    shangib723 Going through a notebook is like going through someone's purse. It's a complete no no unless given explicit permission and even then it is weird.
    via u/shangib723
  • 22
    Vixen Traffic NTJ. If the notebook is on your desk and not in a shared area, it's not shared material. I am a receptionist for a busy office and I take messages for over a dozen people. When I am out for a Dr appointment or won't be able to answer my phone, I send an email out that if they have any questions they can refer to my notebook. But if people just wander by and read my notes without permission it would bother me.
    via u/VixenTraffic
  • 23
    wishingforarainyday I'd report that to HR. That's an invasion of privacy and she did that intentionally.
    via u/wishingforarainyday
  • 24
    SnuggoraGiggle_ exactly this shared supplies isn't the same as shared personal notes. grabbing a pen is one thing, flipping through someone's notebook enough to remember and repeat what they wrote is a completely different level and yeah, the defensiveness kind of says she knew it wasn't appropriate, otherwise she wouldn't need to downplay it as "just a notebook"
    via u/SnuggoraGiggle_
  • 25
    ApprehensiveKey1469 NTJ, looking through the notebook is one thing. Making a remark to show you that they had done it is another. Lock your desk drawer of you don't want people reading your notes. If it is 'your desk drawer' then why would anyone assume that a notebook in your drawer is communal property? Does not ring true.
    via u/ApprehensiveKey1469
  • 26
    UrsusRenata Whoa, no. Looking was not okay. Quoting it back was just stupid.
    via u/UrsusRenata

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snooping privacy office supplies employee desk notebook work coworkers colleague writing
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