Stepdad refuses to cosign on his stepdaughter's apartment after she bought a car with her boyfriend of 2 months: 'She is a single mom to a 3-year-old girl, and she's terrible with money.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Apr 14, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

His wife is addicted to enabling her adult children and allowing them to continue to make poor decisions.

Being financially stable often comes down to avoiding the dumbest possible decisions with your money. It can be difficult to know what a dumb financial decision is because dumb financial decisions are so normalized. The population at large is addicted to buying cars they can't afford, renting apartments that cost them more than half their paycheck, and putting everything on a credit card they aren't planning to pay off anytime soon. Are you bad with your money if you do all three of those things? Is one of those sins enough to ruin you financially? It all depends on the person and how much debt they're comfortable with accruing. 

The dumbest financial decision you can make is cosigning an apartment or a car for a financially irresponsible person. It doesn't matter if they claim that they will keep up with their payments. If they stop paying for whatever reason, the cosigner will be responsible for the whole bill. Do you really want to pay off a car that isn't yours? If you did, you'd give the person the cash to pay for it up front.

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  • Couple kissing in a car
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A couple, who have been together for only two months, kiss in the car they bought together.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stepdad in this story knows that cosigning on an apartment or a car for his financially irresponsible stepdaughter is a bad idea, but that won't stop his wife from doing it anyway. He has expressed his disapproval on the matter, but predictably, nothing he says will change her mind.

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting to help my stepdaughter?

    I (51m) have been married to my wife (48f) for 6 years. She has 3 kids from a previous marriage and I love them and want the best for them, but my wife has a bad habit of enabling them.
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping your kids out. They had some unexpected car expenses come up, or had to miss work because they were sick or something and now you're short on bills, absolutely we've got you covered.
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • But my wife has a habit of paying their bills for them because they took their shopping spree a little too far. It irks me, but you have to choose your battles and we still live comfortably.
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • Woman holding black and white paper bags after going on a shopping spree
    via freestocks

    A young woman goes on a shopping spree despite the outstanding bills she still owes.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My oldest step daughter is a single mom to a 3 year old girl, has shared custody with the father, she lives with my mother in law and doesn't help financially and she's terrible with money, but that's my MILs battle...
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • Anyway, she met a guy, engaged and signed a car loan together only two months after meeting. They're trying to get an apartment together but they're likely going to get denied because his credit score is awful.
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • My wife tells me this morning that she offered to co-sign for their apartment! I gave her my look of disapproval and she told me that it's not my place to say how she helps her children. I said "Fine, but when he flakes out on her and YOU'RE stuck paying for the apartment because she can't afford it, don't expect me to
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • suffer or work extra. It's on you to find that money." Now my wife is mad at me. AITAH?
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • tldr; my wife is planning to co- sign for an apartment for her daughter who's terrible with money and her boyfriend of two months with horrible credit. I told her I'm not going to work extra to pay for the apartment when they can't afford it.
    via u/Inner-Accountant635
  • A living room filled with furniture and a flat screen
    via Yevhenii Deshko (Unsplash+)

    A nice, expensive apartment that someone with a bad credit score could not afford.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • LyannasLament NTA. You should probably check laws in your area because you're married for whether or not you yourself may actually be impacted by that decision. Like, can someone try so seize your assets for payment because your wife defaults?
    via u/LyannasLament
  • Zherneb By default yes
    via u/Zherneb
  • S TechGuru ΝΤΑ. I'm a stepdad with 4 adult stepdaughters, and my wife is ALWAYS bailing them out of their stupid mistakes. It's a constant source of friction in our marriage. Let your wife be mad all she wants. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
    via u/STechGuru
  • Boobookittyfhk A mistake doesn't happen over and over again. That's a pattern. I imagine that would be very frustrating and impact your ability to trust.
    via u/Boobookittyfhk
  • SHAsyhl Always remember, people don't actually want you to tell them the truth unless you're supporting their thoughts/behavior.
    via u/SHAsyhl
  • kickhisa_seab NTA step parenthood can be tricky. She's right that it's her daughter and she alone chooses how she can help her daughter. However, if that's the hill she wants to d on, she alone needs to also accept the full consequences. If she makes it clear that you aren't a part of the decision process, she can't expect you to be part of the damage control. Can't have your cake and eat it, too.
    via u/kickhisa_seab
  • Aggressive Dress_220 NTA!!! Your step daughter has a 3 year old girl and is moving in with a guy after only 2 months? That's irresponsible and bad parenting.
    via u/Aggressive_Dress_220
  • mook1178 If finances are shared, NTA.
    via u/mook1178
  • el_grande_ricardo NTA. Congrats on upcoming grand baby! Cuz you know that announcement is coming soon. Gotta lock in those bad decisions before they get away.
    via u/el_grande_ricardo
  • thequiethunter Never co-sign loan or a lease. For anyone. Ever. Especially your kids. NTA Also, we now know why those kids have no money skills. It is her fault.
    via u/thequiethunter
  • desireeamc I would legitimately divorce over this.
    via u/desireeamc
  • Kat092620 She parented those kids for a lot of years without you. You will not change their dynamic now. If it's too much you might want to reconsider your marriage
    via u/Kat092620

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boyfriend car parenting stepdaughter debt loan cosign family stepdad single mom
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