Mom demands 25-year-old unemployed stepdaughters move out, claims she'll take her other kids and leave if they don't: ‘They’ve completely taken over my home’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 16, 2026 5:45 PM EDT

"Honey, I kicked out the kids."

At what point should a parent put their foot down and stop coddling their adult children?

The normal, and mostly recommended pipeline for a kid once they finish high school is College → Job → A place of their own. Even if a young adult doesn't want to go to college, the general idea is still for them to earn enough money so they can move out of their parents' house and start an independent life of their own.

Yet, most young adults these days will tell you how incredibly hard it has become to do that. Even if they go the traditional route and get a degree, finding a job right off the bat that pays enough for them to afford their own place has become a distant dream. This leads many kids to do the only thing they can think of, and that is moving back with their parents until they figure out their next move.

But how are the parents supposed to deal with this new pipeline that young adults have created for themselves?

While there is no recipe, parents have found different ways to cope with the reality of their adult children moving back into their house. Some demand their kids contribute to the household by paying rent, while others are happy to have their kids home as long as possible.

The parents in the story below are having serious familial issues because of their unemployed 25-year-old daughters. The mom, who is actually their stepmom, can't stand it that all the twin girls are doing is messing up her house and refusing to clean up after themselves. Their dad, on the other hand, doesn't want to confront his daughter and refuses to demand they change their ways.

Eventually, the mom decided she couldn't keep housing these irresponsible adult women, and set up an ultimatum to their dad: Either the twins move out, ot she is taking her 4 kids and moving out herself. Keep scrolling to read the dad's reaction to the threat.

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  • Twin sisters standing in front of the camera
    via Getty Images

    Twin sisters standing in front of the camera.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for telling my husband I’ll take the kids and leave if he doesn’t make his unemployed adult daughters move out?

    I (F37) have been married to my husband (M45) for 12 years, and I'm at a breaking point over his daughters (25F twins).
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • Background: This isn't new. This has been an ongoing cycle for years. Since they were about 19, they've moved in, done the same exact thing, moved out, and then come back and repeated it. This is at least the 4th or 5th time we've gone through this.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • Every time, it's the same pattern. They don't work, don't contribute financially, and don't help around the house unless they're specifically told to and even then it's half-done or completely
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • ignored most of the time. This time is no different. They quit their jobs LAST YEAR and haven't even tried to find new ones since.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • They've completely taken over my home. There's trash left out, dishes piling up, and a constant mess that never actually gets cleaned. The house smells like a dirty dog and BO. Their personal hygiene is
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • honestly a big part of it too. It's gotten to the point where the entire environment feels dirty and overwhelming.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • Woman cleaning a messy home
    via Slavica

    Woman cleaning a messy home.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They also have a dog they don't take care of properly. It throws up and uses the bathroom on the floor, and again they don't clean it unless someone tells them to. I'm the one stuck living in it.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • We also have four kids who actually live here, and instead of having a clean, stable home, they're stuck in this environment while his adult daughters take over and contribute nothing.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • What makes it worse is my husband knows it's a problem. He'll rant and rave about how they need to change, how things are going to be different, how they can't keep living like this... but then nothing actually happens.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • Instead, he ends up cleaning up after them himself. So nothing changes. No consequences. Just the same cycle repeating over and over again.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • And yes, I'm the homemaker. I take pride in my home being clean. But I refuse to clean up after grown women. So at this point, I've stopped cleaning anything outside of my bedroom.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • I basically live in one room now. I only come out to cook and do my kids' laundry, and if we want to spend time together, they have to come into my room. That's how uncomfortable I am in the rest of my own house.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • So I finally told him: If they don't move out, me and the kids will. I didn't say it to be dramatic. I said it because I genuinely cannot keep living like this, and I'm not going to keep raising our kids in this environment.
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • Now he's acting like I'm being extreme and putting him in an impossible position. But I don't think it's unreasonable to expect grown adults to work,
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • contribute, maintain basic hygiene, and respect the home they're living in especially when this has been an ongoing issue for years with no real change. So... AITA?
    via PersimmonMuted6280
  • WinterStrawberries6 NTA at all, that house does not sound big enough for 8 people and a dog. It is not okay to not clean after yourself, specially when you are an adult, and even as children, we are taught to do it. They sound entitled, and their dad just allows it.
    via WinterStrawberries6
  • dinkidoo7693 NTA. Just move out. Don't threaten him. He obviously doesn't see the issue with his lazy daughters.
    via dinkidoo7693
  • Pawgilicious Your kids have the right to a sanitary clean house. NTA
    via Pawgilicious
  • Alarmed Scientist_15 NTA. Nope. Nope. Nope. No! It is not unreasonable and it is not necessary for you or your kids to live with inconsiderate people. Furthermore, they only left their jobs because they knew they had a way out.
    via Alarmed_Scientist_15
  • I had awful jobs early on in life and I had to hold through because I knew otherwise I wouldn't be eating and would be homeless. So, yeah, they are choosing to be there and they are counting on your husband encouraging their s'y behavior
    via Alarmed_Scientist_15
  • Wrong Duty7043 NTA, as long as they are there, they can be confined to their room, and not mess up the rest of the house. And give a deadline that they will have a job and move out by.
    via Wrong_Duty7043

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family drama kids mother siblings stepmom parenting family twins sister move out women parents children Father
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