Stepdad refuses to pay for his stepchild's college at the expense of his kid's college funds: 'My wife says it’s not fair that my child will have enough money for 4 years at college and her child will not.'

Is his stepkid's education his responsibility? 

When couples get married, they often combine all of their finances. They don't differentiate between his and her money: they make all their financial decisions as a team, which helps them build wealth better than they would if they kept everything separate. 

It's easier to combine finances without issue when you are marrying for the first time to someone who doesn't have kids. If you have kids and are marrying someone who also has kids, things can get a little fuzzy financially. A stepparent might not feel comfortable using their hard-earned cash to fund their stepchildren's extravagant extracurricular activities. They might want to keep finances separate so their money is used only to support their kid, and vice versa. After all, if their partner is receiving child support from their child's other parent, it might get murky if they have access to that money and use it to support the child's stepsibling. 

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  • A man in a suit
    via Zachary Delorenzo

    Stepdad, who doesn't want to give more money to his stepkid for their college fund. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stepdad in this story is feeling complicated about giving more money to his stepkid so that they can go through college debt-free. He knows they've received a lot of money from their late father's benefits, but not all of it has gone into their college fund. It has been used to support his family, including his kids. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting to pay for more college for my stepchild than my kid will receive?

    My wife and I got together 14 years ago. She has a sophomore in college, I have a junior in high school, and we have 2 kids in middle school.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • We both work and have a nice balance of who does what with the kids and house. I have always made more than my wife but never thought about
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • it as my or her money, it just went into a big pot and we made decisions together. We have saved money for all the kids to attend college. I started saving
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • for my child when born. My wife didn't establish a college account until we started college accounts when the middle school kids were born.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • Two babies on the grass in the garden
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Two babies, who have already have money put aside for their college educations.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Me wife's ex passed away and her child received social security death benefits for 12 years. We contributed about a third of the benefits to her college account. Which is
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • also three times as many dollars as we contribute for all the other children. I receive child support for my child about a third of the death benefit.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • Due to the difference in contributions and time for my child, their account will have enough for 4 years at a public university. Her child, we saved enough for 3 plus maybe a semester. Hopes
    via u/stuck-n_a-box

  • It's not unheard of for college kids to graduate a semester early. They could graduate debt-free if they take the maximum number of credits each semester. 

  • are for a masters degree. I'm being told that it's not fair that my child will have enough money for 4 years and her child will not.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • I feel like we allocated more resources towards her child and made decisions to help catch up on funding but the shorter e and the recent run up in stocks resulted in a larger fund for my child.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • One other thing to consider, my wife has 60k in student debt that she has been hoping for public service loan forgiveness. She is one payment away but no longer works for a
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • qualifying company. She has no plan to pay off the debt and waiting to be kicked off her current payment plan. The student loan is complicated and outside of this conversation.
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • AITAH for not wanting to provide her child with the extra semester?
    via u/stuck-n_a-box
  • Person walking on concrete road beside brown concrete house near green high trees under white sky during daytime
    via Victoria Heath

    A college student, whose parents can only afford to send her to 3.5 semesters of college.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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student loans middle school parenting husband widow stepdad social security money college budget
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