22-year-old forces roommate to hide from her parents because they think she's living alone: 'Are her parents paying her rent? Is she pocketing your rent?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 27, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

Something fishy is going on here. 

If your roommates don't do something that annoys you a little bit, you're probably living with a robot and not a real person. If you decide to cohabitate with other people, you have to get used to the fact that they're going to do little things that you don't like, and you're going to do little things that they don't like. It would be borderline impossible to find a living situation where everyone is never annoyed with each other, and if you keep trying, you're never going to stay in one place for very long.

The most important thing is figuring out which annoyances you can accept and which you need to discuss with your roommate. If the bathroom floor is soaking wet every time they take a shower and they don't bother to clean it up, it's worth having a conversation about. But if they forget to take the trash out once after consistently doing so before, it's probably best for the household if you let it go. 

This goes both ways. You shouldn't let your roommate control your every move, because you live there too! If they have a problem with you having friends over every once in a while or freak out when you take a shower that's "too long," they might come from a control freak family. The roommate in this story definitely comes from one of those families. Her parents don't want her living with a roommate, so every time they come over, she forces her roommate to either hide or pretend that she doesn't live there. 

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  • Friends eating pizza together
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Two roommates are sitting on the couch together, watching TV.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my roommate I won't cover for her anymore when her parents come to visit?

    For context me (23F) and my roommate Jade (22F) have lived together for about 14 months. We get along fine mostly, but her parents are pretty strict and call her almost every day, and she's told them she lives alone.
    via u/tobin_ridgeham
  • So whenever they visit or call on video I'm supposed to disappear or pretend I'm just "a friend stopping by." I've done this maybe six or seven times and never made a big deal out of it because it felt harmless. Last
    via u/tobin_ridgeham
  • saturday her parents made a surprise visit and I was literally in the middle of a video call with my own mom when they showed up. Jade comes rushing into my room and starts whispering at me to get off the call and hide in my room with the door closed, like right now, no warning, nothing. I told her I
    via u/tobin_ridgeham
  • A woman sitting on a bed reading a book
    via Evita Tomševica

    A woman is hanging out in her bedroom after her roommate forced her to hide and be quiet.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • needed two minutes to say bye to my mom and she got genuinly upset, said I was making it complicated and that her parents couldn't see two mugs on the coffee table. I ended the call early with my mom feeling kind of bad about it and sat in my room for 45 minutes while they had lunch in our shared kitchen. Didn't even
    via u/tobin_ridgeham
  • Two people sitting at a table with plates of food
    via Brock Wegner (Unsplash+)

    A young woman is eating lunch with her mom while her roommate hides in her bedroom.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • say thank you after they left, just went to her room. I told her the next day that I'm not doing that again, that I don't mind being introduced as a roommate or just not being there, but I'm not dropping a call with my own family mid sentance to hide in my room. She said I was being unsupportive and that I knew the situation when I moved in. Did I overeact?
    via u/tobin_ridgeham
  • Impossible-Stop612 Why does she need to keep the fact she has a roommate secret to her parents? You're not clear. My guess is the parents pay the bill and she takes half from you?
    via u/Impossible-Stop612
  • rainydays_monkey This. It's another female, no worries about secretly the roommate or something, why is this such a big deal?? Not to mention, this girl is freakin 22, not a teen freshly in college, she's an adult woman and she has to talk to her parents daily, and worry about what's going on in her own apt with "surprise visits" from them, where an extra mug is a concern?! Definitely super suspicious behavior and sounds very much like they're paying the rent and therefore have control over the
    via u/rainydays_monkey
  • IntelligentComplex40 Are you on the lease? If so then her request is ridiculous.
    via u/IntelligentComplex40
  • Informal-Matter-2130 Nope, in fact I think you under reacted
    via u/Informal-Matter-2130
  • SarcasticFluency It's time for your roommate to learn the definitions of adulthood, independence, and individuality. You're complicit in this charade of hers, and it's affecting your quality of life now so stop hiding and capitulating for your roommate.
    via u/SarcasticFluency
  • mrdino99 Call her parents and ask how much rent they pay and I'm sure you'll have your answer once they give you the amount
    via u/mrdino99
  • Ok_Childhood_9774 NTJ, and I would tell her from now on, you will not lie or pretend you don't live there when you do. Its up to her to manage her overbearing parents.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • will7179 From now on be as supportive as she is about not giving you 2 effing minutes to say goodbye to your mom or confine her to room or kick her out when your family shows up
    via u/will7179
  • istoomycat Waaaay NTJ! You've been abetting her scam all along. You did so with no questions asked? Wow! She's scamming her own parents out of expenses you pay half of. Why are you letting her treat you so crappy? You can't trust her. Plan accordingly!
    via u/istoomycat
  • No-Heat-436 Girl, I think she's playing you. Her parents I bet you pay for that apartment. Which is why they expect her to be living alone. How much does she charge you for the room? And are you on the lease?
    via u/No-Heat-436

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living together lying rent bedroom roommates hiding parents phone call alone apartment
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