Friends plan trip to Tennessee mountains and spend $1000 each, one disinvites the other because he wants to bring his new girlfriend: 'I don’t want to spend a week in the woods with someone I don’t know'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Does a financial contribution to a vacation give a person the right to make last-minute additions to the guest list?

While going on a trip somewhere is supposed to be a relaxing and fun endeavor, it does come with its stressful moments. One of these is that planning anything other than a solo vacation means that you have to take other people's needs and preferences into account. What another one of your fellow vacationers wants may not align with your desires.

As a result, it is important to go into these plans with the spirit of open-mindedness. You should not have to ignore what it is that you want in a holiday, but at the same time, those who are going with you should be allowed to have a say. Sometimes this will cause conflict, and sometimes this may even end up in a trip not going ahead. 

Just like anything that we might do in a group, vacationing with family or friends involves compromise. The question is how much you can do that without feeling like your experience becomes a chore, instead of something enjoyable. If it is really so hard to figure it out, then maybe that vacation should not be taken. 

Advertisement
  • A man and a woman walk along a hiking trail in a forest
    via Barbara Burgess

    A man and a woman walk along a hiking trail in a forest

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a man was planning a forest cabin vacation with his girlfriend, his friend, and his friend's girlfriend. However, the other couple split up after he and his friend had each paid half for the trip, leading the friend to tell him to go on the trip without him and not refund him.

    However, he changed his mind a few days before the vacation, and told him that he wanted to join them with his new girlfriend. Neither the man nor his girlfriend was comfortable with this situation, but they were not sure how to proceed with telling him that she wasn't welcome.

     

  • Would I be wrong if I tell my friend who paid for half our trip that he cannot come with us, even though he was invited originally?

    I know this sounds bad, but I feel it needs some explanation. My(32F) girlfriend Amy and I(30M) have been planning a trip with Tim(28M) and his girlfriend(28F) for about 2 months now. We settled on going to the mountains in Tennessee, and we both threw in about
    via LongCow2989
  • a thousand dollars. About three weeks before the trip, Tim and his girlfriend split up, and he told me he had no plans of going on the trip anymore. I offered to pay him back for his portion of the trip, and he said there was no need to, and to consider the money he chipped
    via LongCow2989
  • in as a gift. I told him I have no issues with paying him back, and he said not to worry and that he hopes we have a good time.
    via LongCow2989
  • Cut to about 3 days before we leave. Me, Tim, and Amy were all having lunch together, and the trip came up. Tim said he can't wait til the trip because it's going to be a great time. Confused, I asked him where he was going and what he meant. He then told me that he
    via LongCow2989
  • Front view of a man hiking through a forest with a woman behind him
    via Natalia Blauth (Unsplash+)

    Front view of a man hiking through a forest with a woman behind him

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • not only plans on tagging along, but he's bringing his new girlfriend who he started dating the week prior, named Rebecca. I told Tim that I wasn't sure how I felt about bringing a stranger along on a trip with us in a cabin in the woods, who we've never met before.
    via LongCow2989
  • Tim then proceeded to go on a tangent about how he paid for half the trip, and that he's entitled to go with us. After I told him I offered to pay him back and him saying it was a gift, he said there is now "really no reason to pay him back".
    via LongCow2989
  • I don't want to spend almost a week in the woods with someone I don't know. Amy is not okay with this either, and I don't want him coming along if he's going to bring her. I feel like I may be in the wrong because, at the end of the day, he DID put in half the money for
    via LongCow2989
  • this trip, although I did offer to cover the other side of it. We picked this cabin specifically for the fact that it accommodates our needs on this trip, and every other cabin would be twice as much money to do so. We are supposed to leave tomorrow evening.
    via LongCow2989
  • Will I be the ah le if I tell him he cannot come? I have tried to give him the money back, and he is very adamant about not taking it.
    via LongCow2989
  • A view of mountains and pine trees in Tennessee
    via Amanda Kevin

    A view of mountains and pine trees in Tennessee 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • harrywang6ft ok so pay him back and say no you cant come
    via harrywang6ft
  • Cantbelieveiam52 It's awkward because you should have insisted that he get repaid and repaid him. By not doing that you sort of left the door open.
    via Cantbelieveiam52
  • I'd suggest he should let you meet this new girlfriend and see how it goes. Then you have to decide how important your friendship with Tim is to you. Because if you don't want him to come you need to repay him immediately (before the trip) with the understanding that this could end your friendship.
    via Cantbelieveiam52
  • MistressJacklyn Hyde NTA, but if you uninvite him from the trip, pay him the money back.
    via MistressJacklynHyde
  • Beck943 Option 3: just meet the new GF and THEN make your decision. New GF should be willing and jump at the chance to meet you first, too.
    via Beck943
  • Adorable_Ad4990 Are you worried you won't like Rebecca? Can you meet for a drink first? To me it sounds more fun to have everyone there, but I love drama too, so don't trust me.
    via Adorable_Ad4990
  • catladyclub Then pay him back his money...it is that simple. That is the fair thing to do. YWBTA if you do not pay him. back or let him go.
    via catladyclub
  • Beneficial_Yoghurt_7 Rebecca may be super nice and fun. This is something you shouldn't ruin a friendship over. Maybe go out to dinner with them tonight to meet his new GF ? I'm sure she is feeling just as anxious as Amy. Relax and have a good time. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
    via Beneficial_Yoghurt_7
  • Apprehensive Ring666 YTA despite his weirdness about the gift and then changing his mind. He paid, you invited him and he had reasonable change in circumstances to his life. He gets to decide who comes. If you don't
    via Apprehensive_Ring666
  • want to be there with him, that is on YOU to no go, not him, after he has paid for his tickets/flights whatever; they are his. I feel a good friend here would welcome Rebecca his new girlfriend in his best interests. It is not some random Tinder date.
    via Apprehensive_Ring666
  • Sea-Operation-6123 He did pay so he is factually still entitled to go. If you don't want to spend the week with a stranger then tell him to reimburse you for the trip & don't go or try to get your money back from your reservation. Or s k it up & get to know Rebecca. The only person you control is you.
    via Sea-Operation-6123
  • YWBTA - you don't get to make choices for other people. If you don't want to go then that's a you problem, not a Tim problem.
    via Sea-Operation-6123
  • LeaJadis Rebecca is going into the woods with two strangers and a boyfriend she's known for a week? Your friend sure knows how to pick them. NTAH
    via LeaJadis

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

friendship Tennessee friends relationships girlfriend trip money vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article