10 Hilariously Deep Poems Written By Dogs

Advertisement
  • 01
    dog poems - Vertebrate - The Naming Give me something strong Give me something powerful Give me something noble Give me something memorable Give me something To carry through all my years With back straight and chin held high But then you ask your three-year-old daughter "Why don't you name the new puppy?" And I'm so screwed that I could cry I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS
  • 02
    dog poem - Dog - Food Food Food food food Food food food food Food food Food Who says a dog Can't write a love sonnet? I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS
  • 03
    dog poem - Meatball - Date Night Every time I watch Lady and the Tramp I think "SHE'S HAVING SOME OF YOUR PASTA!" "QUICK! EAT IT ALL! EAT IT ALL NOW!!!" "GROWL! BARE YOUR TEETH! DO SOMETHING!" "OH, DON'T GIVE HER THE MEATBALL! THERE'S MEAT IN IT!" "IDIOT!" But then again I'm not the romantic type I COULD CHEW ON THIS: AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS BY FRANCESCO MARCIULLIANO
  • 04
    dog poem - Canidae - Unleashed I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm lost 41 ICouldChew INT MechsCorrex.indd 40-41 2/13/13 12:19 PM
  • 05
    dog poem - Dog - I Could Chew on This Squeak? Squeak? Squeak? Squeak? How come when I bite down on this toy it doe sn't go "Squeak"? Maybe because-as you just screamed- I'm really che wing on your favorite shoe Or maybe because I really need to get more of it in my mouth I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS
  • 06
    dog poem - Dog - I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House The plants are torn The garbage strewn The wires chewed The couch and I had a fight Your bed is soaked Your liquor spilled Your TV smashed Your laptop no longer has any vowels There's a smartphone in the toaster There's a toaster in the toilet There's a toilet in the hallway There's underwear in ay south I went places I should never go I sawa side of myself I should never see Isaid things to the cat I can never take back So please don't ev
  • 07
    dog poem - Dog - King of the Mountain I am king of this icy mountain! I am ruler of this wintry hill! I am conqueror of this frozen peak! So I lift my leg to claim my throne So I notice the ice starts to melt So I fall right through this huge snowdrift So if you could come dig me out I would very much like To go back to my warm, dry home I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS By Francesco Marciuliano Published by Chronicle Books
  • 08
    dog poem - Canidae - Chain Reaction Late one night I step out in the yard And bark Then the neighbor's dog barks Then his neighbor's dog barks And so it goes House to house Street to street Town to towm State to state Coast to coast Until the very last dog Tallies up those barks And that's how we elect our president I Could Chew on This: AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS By Francesco Marciuliano
  • 09
    dog poem - Dog - Wingman I wag my tail I tilt my head I give a little wink I flash my smile I show my belly I give a little lick I do it all From sit to speak To attract women far and near Then you chime in With something about "fan fiction" And I realize we're going to die alone I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS By Francesco Marciuliano Published by Chronicle Books EOOIFO
  • 10
    dog poem - Cat - Holiday Oard Two little sweaters Two big smiles Two happy pets Together Too cute Then the photo is taken The cat swipes at my face And we mail out our annual lie of family bliss Season's Barkings! FROM OUR LITTER TO YOURS I Could Chew on This AND OTHER POEMS BY DOGS By Francesco Marciuliano Published by Chronicle Books
Scroll Down For The Next Article