Restaurant employee forgets to request time off for proposal, gets annoyed when coworkers won't swap shifts with him: 'He ended up proposing in the parking lot'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 12, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Is a special event a good enough reason to be inconvenienced by a coworker?

It may not be right, but it's true; the things that we care about most in life usually have to be planned around work, and not the other way around. It's the job that pays for the fun hobbies, funds that dream vacation, and keeps clothes on the kid's backs, and doing anything that is going to disrupt that somehow requires careful planning. 

Of course, there are times when life happens, and loyalty to the job is going to have to take a back seat to whatever is the priority at that moment. However, when it comes to the pre-prepared fun stuff, there is little excuse not to give prior warning with a shift swap or PTO request.

As a general rule, a coworker who makes an issue of somebody wanting some time off is not a good person to work with. Still, there are situations where they are reluctant to accept it for good reason. Part of being a decent team member is making an attempt to be organized, and if you can't do that, you are likely to suffer the consequences sooner or later.

 

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  • A male and female couple kiss in a blurred background, with the woman's hand wearing an engagement ring in the foreground
    via Jessica Scalf

    A male and female couple kiss in a blurred background, with the woman's hand wearing an engagement ring in the foreground

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a restaurant worker was desperate to swap their weekend evening shift with a colleague because they forgot to request the time off. The reason he didn't want to work is that he had planned to go to a concert with his girlfriend and then propose to her.

    Unfortunately for him, all of his coworkers were either unwilling or unable to swap the shift with him. This meant he had to rush to the concert after his shift, and ended up proposing in the parking lot. He was upset at his colleagues for ruining a special moment, leaving one of them wondering if she had been too harsh.

  • Am I wrong for making my coworker miss his proposal because I wouldn’t cover his shift?

    I (29F) work at a restaurant with this guy we can call him "Mark" (idk,M). A few weeks ago he told everyone he was planning to propose to his girlfriend during a concert they were going to, and he kept hyping it up nonstop.The
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • problem is that he scheduled himself to work that same night and apparently forgot to request it off. A few days beforehand he started begging people to switch with him. Nobody wanted to
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • because it was a Saturday night shift.He eventually asked me because I technically wasn't scheduled that day. I had a pretty full week, (personal stuff) and i didn't really feel like it so i told him i can't cover it. He kept asking and
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • A male server holding a tablet takes a table's order
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A male server holding a tablet takes a table's order

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • was asking me what plans i have but i didn't (if your wondering why he didn't ask the others one of them was flying and the other one had something specific i don't remember. So Mark had to work. Apparently he tried to rush to
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • the concert after his shift, but by the time he got there the moment he planned was ruined because the band had already played their big final song. He ended up proposing afterward in the parking lot and according to him it
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • "wasn't special anymore." After he was a little psasive agressive to me and complained a little that i ruined it. But I feel like forgetting to request off for your own proposal is not my responsibility.
    via Turbulent_Warning427
  • A male server holding a tablet speaks to a couple sitting at a table
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A male server holding a tablet speaks to a couple sitting at a table

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Kia_Leep I can't believe he proposed in the parking lot after the concert lol. Dude, just plan something else a different day
    via Kia_Leep
  • Upper-Philosopher-40 NTA. A parking lot proposal perfectly matches the amount of planning he put into requesting the night off.
    via Upper-Philosopher-40
  • Turbulent Guest402 You didn't have to. But it would've been nice. I can't imagine doing that to my colleagues if I were free to help them for something important because mistakes happen. Is Mark an AH and that's why you didn't care to help him?
    via Turbulent_Guest402
  • IndependenceSalty998 I am astonished at the number of people saying NTA. While I don't think he is totally YTA, it's more like an ESH. The lack of empathy people have for each other makes me sad. The proposing guy was probably so anxious about getting engaged and planning everything.
    via IndependenceSalty998
  • Yes, he screwed up badly not scheduling himself off. But come on, what if it was you in his situation? It's not that hard to be kind. Remember when karma gives you what you gave.
    via IndependenceSalty998
  • Pretend Walk_34 NTA. What do they say? I think it goes: Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.
    via Pretend_Walk_34
  • 1962Michael NTA. HE decided to propose in the parking lot, not you. HE forgot to ask for time off for the concert, not you.
    via 1962Michael
  • HE decided his job was more important than getting to the concert on time, not you. I'm not surprised that he's trying to blame you, but that's because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his own failure to plan.
    via 1962Michael
  • Good for you not falling into the trap of having to justify your plans, compared to his.
    via 1962Michael
  • lellyla ESH He is an AH to himself and his partner.
    via lellyla
  • Was it your business to fix his inattentiveness? no. Could you have been more gracious? Yes. Imo, if you can make a big difference to someone's life just do it. We would all be happier that way.
    via lellyla
  • AdysGrandma321 I see a marriage of missed anniversaries in his future
    via AdysGrandma321

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Tags

hospitality coworkers proposal relationships restaurant PTO workplace restaurant server
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