Friends split the bill evenly for appetizers, then accuse one friend of being a “buzzkill” because she refuses to pay $27 extra for food she didn't eat: 'I didn’t touch a single wing or nacho'

Admit it, you've been here, too.

Cornered in a group dinner setting, and the bill comes around, and that one unscrupulous friend says, "Hey, let's just split the bill evenly," even though all you ordered was a house salad and a water amongst a table full of wagyu steaks.

Many people don't have the stones to dig in and rock the boat with their friends, but if a group is trying to get you to bankroll their excessive dinners, are they really your friends after all? Or are these big eaters just trying to use their frugal friend's predictably sensible ordering style to supplement their own overspending? This woman learned quickly that her friends weren't looking out for her best financial interests, or really paying much attention to her at all, when they tried to split the bill evenly on a table full of appetizers she never wanted, never ordered, and never touched.

Sorry, but if a person doesn't take part in a shared plate, they're certainly not going to participate in the payment portion of the dining experience.

It's a pet peeve of mine when groups of "friends" make unilateral decisions to the detriment of the one quiet person in the group. Knowing they won't stand up for themselves and that their contributions will benefit everyone else, it's always seemed predatory to me, making me distrustful of the most benign intentions. Back in college, I lived out the classic "broke student" trope, yet many of my "friends" at the time insisted on seemingly mandatory birthday dinners at sushi restaurants and social gatherings at expensive, trendy bars. As if I had much of a choice (socially) to skip the thing, but getting looped into group payments became a quick way I learned my lesson. Despite ordering water and a side of rice n' beans, tallying a hefty bill of maybe $8, I somehow always got roped into paying $50+ for every friend's birthday.

It's safe to say that those people aren't my friends anymore, not just because they disregarded me as a person, but because their frivolous bill-splitting and mindless "equality" chatter really missed the mark on what it means to be a real friend. Good friends look out for one another and are mindful of each other's choices and feelings. They don't force them to pay for chicken wings and nachos when they said they weren't hungry…

via Pexels (Yan Krukao)

^{Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.}
"AITA for refusing to split the bill for a pile of appetizers i didn't even touch?"
"I (24F) went out with a group of six friends last Friday to a local sports bar to catch a game. When we sat down two of the guys in the group immediately started ordering huge platters of wings, nachos and sliders "for the table" without really asking anyone else what they wanted. I had already eaten a late lunch so i just ordered a small salad and a drink for myself. I made it pretty clear when the food arrived that i wasnt hungry for snacks and i literally didnt touch a single wing or nacho the entire night. I just sat there eating my salad while they demolished everything else."
"When the check came the "planners" of the group just did the quick math and said okay it is 45 bucks each. I looked at the bill and my salad plus drink only came to about 18 dollars including tax and tip. I told them i was just going to pay for my own order since i didnt eat any of the shared stuff. The mood immediately shifted and they started calling me a "buzzkill" and saying that splitting the bill is just what friends do to keep things simple. One guy even made a comment that i was being "difficult" over 25 bucks and that it makes the math harder for everyone else."
“I stood my ground and only put down enough to cover my actual meal. They ended up having to recalculate everything and it got awkward real fast. Since then the group chat has been weirdly quiet and i found out today they went out for drinks last night without inviting me. I feel like i am being punished for not wanting to subsidize their massive appetite but maybe i should have just sucked it up to keep the peace. So AITA for not wanting to pay for food i never touched?”
via KiteBounty9
via Getty Images (Dimensions)

^{Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.}
olid-Musician-8476
They gave you a gift by not inviting you. You don't want to hang put with leeches. I have never split bills unless we all ate the same thing. I always pay for what I ordered, in fact I usually get my own tab.
ShebaShelle
NTA
But hanging out with friends is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.
This doesn't seem like a big incompatibility but if their going out without you, maybe it's time to look for a new friend group.
Steefanon
We go out to dinner with friends every single weekend and have always ALWAYS gotten separate checks. It's not that hard.

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