Brother refuses to let his sister borrow his car because she's crashed 2 cars in the past year: 'She got mad and said I'm selfish. My mom says I should help because she's family.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 14, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

Third time is not a charm.

There is a huge portion of the population who should not drive. They have gotten one too many tickets or accidents, and have proven that they are not fit to be on the road. It's really unfortunate that most people need to drive to participate in society in 98% of the United States. If you live in NYC, you can get away with never having driven your entire life. My friend is 26-years-old and from the Upper East Side, and she just got her Driver's Permit for the 3rd time in her life. Society would be a lot better if driving were optional in all cities, and you could choose to take public transit instead of putting other people's lives in your hands every time you got behind the wheel of a car. 

In car dependent areas, you have to do a whole heck of a lot before you get your license suspended. Even if your license gets suspended, it's probably not going to be a permanent thing. When a crazy driver gets back on the road, all you can do is pray that you're not the next victim of their reign of terror. 

If a notably bad driver asks you if they can drive your car right after they got in a car accident, it is your duty to your fellow drivers to say no!!! That's exactly what the brother in this story did.

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  • Young unfortunate woman using smart phone and text messaging after a car accident in the city
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A young woman at the scene of her second car accident of the calendar year. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for not letting my sister borrow my car after she crashed her own twice?

    my sister has crashed two cars in the past year. both times her fault. now she needs to borrow mine because hers is in the shop.
    via u/Ok-Giraffe-8941
  • i said no. my car is my only way to get to work. i can't risk it. she got mad and said i'm selfish. my mom says i should help because she's family.
    via u/Ok-Giraffe-8941
  • but i worked hard to pay for this car. i don't trust her driving. am i the j`? TL;DR: Sister crashed two cars. Wants to borrow mine. I said no.
    via u/Ok-Giraffe-8941
  • Man sitting beside silver Mercedes Benz car outdoors
    via Jose Carbajal

    Brother contemplates whether he made the right decision by not letting his sister drive his car while hers is in the shop.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Icy Okra 5677 Tell mom to lend hers then
    via u/Icy_Okra_5677
  • Smiling mature senior woman in outdoors mountain excursion with automobile opening hood of the car
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Mom, who insists that her son should lend his sister his car because she's family.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • . CloudyBuun ⚫ 18h ago Trust is earned, and crashing two cars in a year is a massive red flag. You aren't being selfish; you're being responsible by protecting your livelihood. Family doesn't mean giving someone a third chance to leave you stranded.
    via u/CloudyBuun
  • Previous_Wedding_577 Crashing 2 cars in a decade or even a lifetime is a red flag
    via u/Previous_Wedding_577
  • Lcdmt3 My husband has had people crash into his twice in 10 years. One slid on ice across 3 lanes into him. one going 45 at a red light. We lost money because those paid off cars had another 10 years low cost life left. New car needed, insurance higher. Do not lend because you will lose money having to buy a new car. She's not going to have insurance.
    via u/Lcdmt3
  • LegitimateMove7645 She can borrow from her generous mother
    via u/LegitimateMove7645
  • thingonething Mom can lend her car if she's so worried about family. Or your sister can rent a car or get an insurance loaner. My guess is that your sister is not an insured driver for your car.
    via u/thingonething
  • SomeGuyInTheUK NTJ. As per other replies your very generous mother will of course let her borrow hers. Take a note, dont leave your keys lying around. And pre empt her potential thought by telling her if you find the car gone you will call the police.
    via u/SomeGuyInTheUK
  • ChanFry I wouldn't even let a good friend borrow a DVD after she said her copy was ruined by her young daughter. Certainly not going to take the risk with an entire automobile.
    via u/ChanFry
  • InsectElectrical2066 NTJ look on Facebook Market place for a cheap bicycle $25. Or tell mom to give her her own car. You didn't give birth to her mom did. mom can finish the job and give her more driving lessens.
    via u/InsectElectrical2066
  • InteractionChance585 You already know the answer to this.
    via u/InteractionChance585

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insurance brother accident cars parenting mechanic family sister mom helping
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