23-year-old boyfriend demands to see 25-year-old girlfriend's bank account, doesn't understand why she refuses

Would you show your boyfriend your bank account?

Your finances are personal. They may affect other people at every turn, but they aren't entitled to the full picture. It's one of the most private things about you. You wouldn't go around sharing the contents of your bank account with everyone you meet. Knowledge is power, and you might not want to surrender that kind of power to all the people you come across in your daily life. That's what this person was having to deal with when their boyfriend demanded to know some pretty privileged information. When you're first going out with someone, you're probably keeping some things to yourself. You want to appear as the best version of you, so you're not giving away all of your secrets. There is nothing wrong with this, and it's a normal way to approach dating. If you get too involved too soon, then you might end up regretting it. 

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  • A couple sits apart on a sofa looking away from each other
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong because I don't want to show my bank account to my boyfriend?

    1 25F and my boyfriend 23M got into an argument because I won't show my bank account. He says it's childish and weird. 1.) We have been together for 5 months 2.) It's none of his d in business? 3.) I feel like it's a
    via OfficeBest9008
  • control thing, like if I show him my bank account and it's lower than his he'd feel like he has some sort of power over me. Also I'm black he's white I have always been taught not to tell anyone your financial business- I'm not trying to pull the race card but
    via OfficeBest9008
  • there's obviously a difference in our backgrounds. He's not my husband what the f do you wanna see my account for? He says because he shows me his but never once have I asked him to show me his bank account, he's always the one showing and telling how much he has. AITAH.
    via OfficeBest9008

  • Commenters agreed that this was out of bounds.

    PalelrishEastcoaster It's none of his business he's the bf of five months not five years
    via PalelrishEastcoaster

  • When you're young, you might have a rocky relationship with money. You might be working to pay off debt, or just starting out in your career, so you have to take lower-paying jobs. It's normal not to be financially secure at a young age, and you shouldn't have to defend yourself about that. Sure, if you're entering into a marriage with someone or having kids with them, finances become deeply relevant. But when you're just dating someone, you're entitled to your own sense of privacy about these things. The man in this story didn't quite understand that, and wanted to control his girlfriend's life down to the dollar. He wanted access to her most private information, and wouldn't take no for an answer when she had a reasonable reaction. She wondered if she was actually in the wrong for not giving it up, and reached out to the internet for advice, which it did its best to provide. Keep reading to understand the full story and see what you think about it. Then let us know your thoughts in the comments. 

  • muzorui NTA. 5 months? What is he insane??? You two have been together for NO time at all. You have no reason to show you your bank account, you two don't even live together, nor share any expenses at all.
    via muzorui
  • Major red flag, atleast he is showing you he isn't worth keeping around early on. Get rid of his a.
    via muzorui
  • A couple argues on the couch
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SJane3384 Ma'am I have been with my boyfriend for 5.5 years. We live together and share bills. He never sees nor asks to see my bank account. Get rid of that dude, that is controlling behavior.
    via SJane3384
  • NotUniqueScott Your relationship is doomed
    via NotUniqueScott
  • Away-Quote-408 DUMP HIM NOW!!!!!!!! NTA. At least he is showing his controlling behaviors early. Please get rid of this clown. NTA
    via Away-Quote-408
  • EzAeMy NTA. There is no reason at all that he needs to know your financial business unless you are getting married. I don't think it's even a cultural thing. That's just not a normal request.
    via EzAeMy
  • Lanky-Fix7376 Your boyfriend has zero need to see your bank account Red flags waving everywhere
    via Lanky-Fix7376
  • Sea-Fox-7963 NTA, he's trying to sus out how much you're worth and if he can use that money. If you have a decent savings he will be expecting you to pay his way. 5months and showing his true colors.
    via Sea-Fox-7963
  • tessie33 He is testing you to see if you will cave. Your business is your own. He is gearing up to financially ab e you. My cousin dated a guy who posed as a financial advisor/investing guru and made off with her inheritance and savings.
    via tessie33
  • Glittering-Pie-3309 Ew. 5 months?? FOR WHAT? Listen to your gut and get out.
    via Glittering-Pie-3309
  • Medical_Donut5990 NTA. This is totally unreasonable of him to ask. Your instincts are right, don't let him strongarm you. I think it's time to rethink the relationship. At only 5 months together this is concerning behavior and a red flag for further ab e.
    via Medical_Donut5990
  • Hopeful_Dance_268 Never in my life have I heard of someone asking their bf/gf to see their bank account for no reason. It's weird af. You should be suspicious.
    via Hopeful_Dance_268
  • emryldmyst NTA Five months? Lmao NOPE. Its literally none of his business.
    via emryldmyst
  • What an entitiled control freak dips it. Be wary of anyone trying to pull that well i show you mine bulls.
    via emryldmyst
  • Honest-Cover9513 Absolutely NOT!! Please don't let him, and please don't stay with him. If he's telling you this is a cultural thing, hes lying. This is literally how to get
    via Honest-Cover9513
  • scammed, and his insistence is a massive red flag as well. From an older woman, please dont waste your time with losers like this. Trust me, later in life you'll look back and be grateful you learned lessons from this relationship and moved on.
    via Honest-Cover9513
  • This is what dating is for, to get to know someone, hes showing you who he is, the end. Take care
    via Honest-Cover9513
  • Impressive Rush5018 NTA. When he shows you his account, it's him bragging. Just tell him, in no uncertain terms, that the only person you will share financial banking info with will be your husband. Point blank, period.
    via Impressive_Rush5018

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