Woman refuses to go to cousin's wedding because they will only have 6 days of PTO left, family calls them 'selfish'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 22, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

What sacrifices would you make for a family wedding?

Weddings are big ordeals. They have a way of entering your life and taking it over, even when you're not the one getting married. It's just the way that it goes. They're expensive, they're time-consuming, and they're not always convenient. But they're also major milestones that are right to celebrate, especially if it's for the ones closest to you. They can be really special ways to connect with the people you love. But what if life gets in the way? Where do you draw the line of inconvenience? Do you risk disappointing the people you love just because you have stuff to do? 

This is a tricky conversation, because you should be able to prioritize things in your life that you need to prioritize. You don't want to have to constantly stop and think about all the things you're missing out on, because that information is overwhelming. When you're carving a path for yourself, some things are bound to get lost along the way. It's just the nature of the game. But sometimes you have to be reminded of what you might be missing out on. It can take your priorities and reorganize them in a positive direction. Sometimes, someone has to shake you and say, "This is what you should care about," or else you might lose sight of it altogether. That's what was starting to happen to this young person who was making a difficult choice about their family. 

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  • A woman is upset on the phone
    via Lensabl

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong for not wanting to use my holidays days on my cousin's wedding?

    I work from Monday to Friday and my cousin's who is getting married soon is doing her wedding on a Thursday. This means that I need to take 2-day holidays to attend her wedding. I travel a lot and I don't have many days off left this year. I still have
    via Successful_GOAT_420
  • 2 holidays planned this year which will leave me with 6 days to use until the end of the year. I want to keep these days for some emergency and potential job interview because I am looking for a job.
    via Successful_GOAT_420
  • My family told me that I am being selfish for choosing holidays over my cousin's wedding but I really don't want to use my holidays on someone's wedding... Btw, me and my cousin are good friends. We meet every few weeks for a catch up.
    via Successful_GOAT_420

  • Obligation is an interesting thing. We all have obligations, but we might have more than we expect to have. We get saddled with so much over the course of a life, and we don't want to end up in a situation where we're running around doing things that we don't want to do. But there is a fine line between taking care of yourself and skipping out on the things that matter. This situation was right in between. Keep reading to see what happened here and see what you think.

  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    Going Elephant82 You and your cousin aren't good friends.
    via GoingElephant82
  • A young woman looks at her smartphone
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • cuzguys So you don't want to use vacation days to go to your close friend/cousins wedding just incase you might want them later. I guess you're not as close as your cousin thinks you are.
    via cuzguys
  • Sea-Operation-6123 It's not "someone's wedding" it's your cousin's wedding who is your close friend. It's a huge milestone & her once in a lifetime event (hopefully).
    via Sea-Operation-6123
  • Regardless, you're allowed. to make your own choices. Other people are allowed to be disappointed with your choices. Maybe stop telling people you're choosing holidays over your cousin. Just say you can't get the time off.
    via Sea-Operation-6123
  • eta - the more I read this the more I think YTA. If you're so close to your cousin & see her often then why didn't you plan to take the 2 days off when you learned about her wedding?
    via Sea-Operation-6123
  • youknowimright25 Yta. You can't say that you are good friends if they are not even worth 2 days to go to their wedding.
    via youknowimright25
  • Lalalopsi-i I need to know since when were u aware of her wedding date
    via Lalalopsi-i
  • CSurvivor9 Oh the last bit changed my vote. YTA. You're close to your cousin. If you bail because you want vacay buffer days, that closeness will end asap. You have plenty of time off and will still have time off if you go.
    via CSurvivor9
  • You're giving off narcissist vibes. I had thought this was a wedding to someone you weren't close to, but oh no. It is and you don't care about seeing them get married.
    via CSurvivor9
  • Lalalopsi-i What reason are u going to give her when shes asks why u can't come. You are clearly not that close to her if ur choosing to sack her wedding to keep ur days off. The price for a community is inconvenience. Meh Edit: I change my mind, YTA.
    via Lalalopsi-i
  • Sakuranokuroneko Info were you aware on your cousins wedding before or after planning your holidays? But even if it was after, you could use 2 if your 6 days to attend, it will hurt them to not see tou there if tou are capable to see them often
    via Sakuranokuroneko
  • blackivie YTA. You're good friends and family. You're choosing a potential job interview you might not even get over a once in a lifetime (hopefully) event. Selfish is right.
    via blackivie
  • Working_Ad_915 Yikes. You're close but wont give up two days? Think you know the answer here
    via Working_Ad_915
  • DaniCapsFan If you're close and friendly with your cousin, she's going to be very hurt by you not attending her wedding. Perhaps you could make your other holidays shorter so you can attend?
    via DaniCapsFan
  • Intrepid_Gur_4110 If someone plans a wedding on a Thursday they expect people to be unavailable. It's selfish to think everyone can take 2 days off. It's like planning a destination wedding and saying "if you really loved me.
    via Intrepid_Gur_4110
  • FloMoJoeBlow You lost me at Thursday wedding. The couple would know that people have to take off work. Just send a gift and decline.
    via FloMoJoeBlow
  • LittleBird105 It's on a Thursday for a reason. They're hoping to limit the guests who can come and keep their costs down. Don't feel bad for missing it.
    via LittleBird105
  • FewResolution7181 YTA my cousin went on a trip instead of my wedding and it wrecked our relationship and how people. viewed her in the family. If you say you can't go and then take time for 2 more trips it will be so hurtful. Don't say you're good. friends or close if you skip.
    via FewResolution7181
  • She likely picked Thursday because it's cheaper. Sometimes you have to give. up things you want for relationships around you. If you haven't paid for one of the two vacations then cancel it now.
    via FewResolution7181

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