Estranged grandparents offer to take 10, 8, and 6-year-old on Disneyland vacation, daughter-in-law refuses because she can't join them: 'I can’t fathom the thought of making these magical memories without me'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 22, 2026 3:45 PM EDT

Is it always a good idea for kids to vacation with only their grandparents?

For many children and, increasingly, adults, Disneyland is the epitome of a dream vacation. They call it the happiest place on earth, and millions of visitors believe them. It is a trip that a lot of people hope to take many times in their lives, if they're lucky.

That said, it isn't like a full immersion in the land of Walt Disney runs cheap. Many visitors have to save up if they want to make it to that hallowed entrance gate, and some will never be able to spare the cash. The fantasy remains the fantasy.

Even if they couldn't go themselves, a lot of parents would jump at their chance to give their kids the option to vacation at Disneyland with trusted family members. It is the kind of thing that joyful childhood memories are made of. While it might be sad for them to miss out, a lot of parenthood involves sacrifices. Not everything can be done exactly to mom or dad's preference, and an opportunity like this is one where most parents would believe that putting the kids first is the only way to go.

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  • The Disneyland castle at dusk
    via Zhen Yao

    The Disneyland castle at dusk

  • In this story, a married mom on a lower income had three elementary school-age kids. They were not particularly close to her father-in-law and his wife, but he had previously helped them buy their house. They also lived in a different state from their grandkids.

    However, this didn't stop them from calling up the mom and offering to take all three children on a vacation to Disneyland over the Christmas break. She knew this was an opportunity that she and her husband would not be able to offer them, but she didn't want to accept, as she felt like it was unfair that she would not be able to go with them. Although she thought she was in the right, her friend's reaction to this point of view gave her second thoughts.

  • Am I wrong for not allowing my kids to go on a Disney trip?

    My husband and I have three children ages 10, 8 and 6. We live in Oklahoma and from a financial perspective qualify for and utilize most of the low income benefits available to us. My kids rely on donations from the church for "back to school" necessities, and are part of the adopt-an-angel program at Christmas time.
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • My husband's father is well off. Years ago, he gifted us the down payment for our small home as this is one thing he's offered all of his children, but otherwise is not THAT well off to provide any other kind of monetary assistance.
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • They have a respectful relationship, but probably only talk on the phone twice a year. It's also important to note that we live in an entirely different state that is a plane ride away (not easily drivable).
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • My FIL is not married to my husband's mother, and after they divorced when my husband was in high school, he remarried and had another child (my husband's half sibling) with his new wife. My husband has never really shared his feelings on the matter and seems otherwise neutral.
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • Last Thanksgiving, my FIL called and said his wife and him would love to take "their" grandkids to Disneyland at any point over their Christmas break since they are all now school aged. He offered to pay for their airline tickets as well as all the costs associated with the trip. My husband let him know that we would discuss.
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • While I have no concerns about my kids traveling and spending the time with their grandpa and his wife, this is not something that my husband and I would ever be able to offer our children. Heck, I've never even been to a Disney park myself! I can't fathom the thought of my children making these magical memories without me.
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • I shared this with my husband and he simply agreed without really adding any of his own thoughts or emotions, and called his dad back and declined his offer. I shared this all with a close girlfriend who was horrified and said she couldn't believe I would "rob" my children of such a rare and fortunate opportunity. AITA for not allowing my kids to go on a Disney trip?
    via Amazing-Storm-5812
  • A young boy turns around in his seat and smiles while on a ride at Disneyland
    via Ben McLeod

    A young boy turns around in his seat and smiles while on a ride at Disneyland

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • CraftyFraggle YTA. If you have no problems with the travel or the staying with grandparents parts, then your reasons are entirely selfish.
    via CraftyFraggle
  • nanladu So your kids don't get this experience because you can't go? Not a mature, loving response from a parent. YTA
    via nanladu
  • Life_Temperature2506 I don't want to say YTA. But......l think you should reconsider.
    via Life_Temperature2506
  • Intelligent_Elk_3494 "I can't fathom the thought of my children making these magical memories without me." That's the real issue.
    via Intelligent_Elk_3494
  • Yes. You're a selfish a hole. Just because you can't afford it, why punish the kids? If he and his wife are offended, I don't blame them.
    via Intelligent_Elk_3494
  • Isaisaab Can you and your husband pay for the two of you to go? If not, you said yourself this is an experience you would not be able to provide to your children...so why are you robbing them of that? Yes, YTA
    via Isaisaab
  • Mental-Park-8979 Don't be selfish
    via Mental-Park-8979
  • JustJersey YTA because you made this about you.
    via JustJersey
  • Reasonable-Yam-1170 I think you should reconsider. This could be a great moment for your children to develop a bond with their grandfather, step grandmother and their half-uncle, as well as make really special memories.
    via Reasonable-Yam-1170
  • I know you wish you were there with them to be a part of those memories, but is it worth your children not having them at all? You are being the a hole.
    via Reasonable-Yam-1170
  • Honey-ball-953 YTA. This isn't about you, just let the kids have the experience.
    via Honey-ball-953
  • Confident_Ad_919 How can you keep this experience from your children? I think you're jealous that you weren't included. If your immediate family is that poor, when would you be able to afford to take them? Let them go!
    via Confident_Ad_919

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Tags

family drama daughter in law kids family grandparents mom disneyland vacation
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