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A man scratches his head an looks upset on the phone
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AITAH for refusing to pay for my in-laws private flights twice?
My wife (61F) and I (63M) are totally NC with her three sisters (all in their mid-to-late 60s). They took almost $25k and refuse to pay it back. One of them trashed our condo after we let her stay there while she was getting back on their feet. They lie and cheat. They steal. Over the years, they've said hateful things to my children. We are dreading the next time we see them, which will likely be when one of my parents-in-law passes away.
Which brings us to the story. Our daughter (33F) is getting married this summer. She desperately wants her grandparents to be there; she's named after grandma and is very close to grandpa. Sadly, they are both in their mid-90s and in failing health in Florida, and the wedding is in the NYC area, which is everyone's hometown. There's just no way they could drive or fly commercially, and they, my wife and daughter, were heartbroken.
My BIL (the brother of all involved) did very well in construction, and I run a successful business, so, working together with a friend in aviation, we found someone willing to fly them to Teterboro, leave them for two weeks (so they can spend what may be their final trip to where they grew up, then return them to Florida the day after the wedding). To say everyone involved was joyful would be an understatement.
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A family all poses for a picture together with an older couple in the foreground
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Spending time with family, especially older family, is precious. You never know if it's going to be the last time you see them. This family wanted to make sure to maximize that time as much as possible, and pulled some strings to do so. Weddings are huge events for a family, and when everyone can't make it, it can cause whole waves of bad feelings. And when there's history there, things get even more complicated. This family already had some troubled history, so it naturally came to a head when two different weddings were in the planning stages.
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And then the sisters got involved. Unbeknownst to us, one of our nephews is also planning to get married this summer. Daughter's wedding was scheduled for July 18th, and her grandparents were scheduled to fly up right after the 4th. Well, guess what? After learning about our plans, these ****** scheduled nephew's wedding for - wait for it - July 11th, the Saturday before our daughter's, specifically so they could take advantage of the grandparents being here. It ***** me off, but I'm not in charge of my in-laws, and they'll be here anyway, so **** it.
Until last week. My daughter got a call from the venue, and due to infrastructure repair issues, they need to close for a week in June, which throws off their booking schedule. They offered her a great deal if she would move the date. Yes, it's late, but my daughter and fiancé are both attorneys, so they negotiated a deal that will save almost $12k on their ridiculously overpriced wedding. The "save the dates" have gone out, but not the invitations, and since the venue is handling catering, decor, etc. - everything but the band - they agreed to move it to an open date in August. Makes no difference to me.
I called my BIL and his buddy with the plane and moved everything accordingly. That's when the ***** went insane.
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An older couple sit on a bench together holding hands
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There was clearly a bad history here that was being brought up, and nobody knew what to do about it. There was a transgression over money, and that can be hard to bounce back from. Nobody wants to feel like they're being taken advantage of, and the brother-in-law in this story seemed to think that was exactly what was happening to him. The ones that we're getting caught in the crossfire were the children whose weddings it was. Nobody wants an all-out family brawl over their wedding day. You want it to be a happy occasion, not an ugly one. Keep reading for the full story and see what you think about it.
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A man sits at a table arguing with a woman
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After years of nothing, they called, texted, you name it, screaming that we're ruining their wedding, that we're punishing my nephew for something he has nothing to do with, etc., and demanded that we "honor" the first flight and pay for the grandparents to attend BOTH weddings.
We literally laughed out loud, told them to go **** themselves, and re-blocked them on every platform. They then sent their proxies after us, cousins, aunts and uncles, saying we're making things worse by prioritizing money over reconciling with the sisters. I told them to **** off too. Still, I wonder if I'm the AH. We don't want grandma and grandpa to miss anything in the autumn of their lives, but it's not my fault their sneaky plan blew up in their faces. So I ask you: AITAH for not paying for two flights?
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