Mother and 22-year-old daughter argue at a family wedding because of how the mom used to sneak to look through her things just to find things to prove she was a bad teenager: 'I was hiding stuff from her and wanted to find the evidence.'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Jun 26, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

Strict parents raise rebellious children.

Do you remember the girl in your class who was overcontrolled by her parents and couldn't attend sleepovers or birthday parties, so she started to feel left out because they stopped inviting her. In her teens, she started sneaking out and doing things that were almost too much, but her parents still saw her as the controlled kid she used to be. Till someday you realize that what she's doing and the activities she engages with are far more than what normal teens who didn't have controlling parents in the first place are doing. So you start to think that being controlled was actually useful, as she is far worse than you because she learned how to sneak around. You were just going to parties while she was leaving the state. Was it worth it? And you meet back as adults, and you hear that she doesn't talk to her parents at all anymore. Was it worth it? Well, I don't think so.

In this Reddit story, the user pretended to be a rebel teenager who entered some heavy business while actually being a normal teenager. She pretended just to show how her mother was searching her stuff without permission and getting involved in her business to show how awful and problematic a teenager she was being. The thing is, she wasn't. It was an act she created to prove the lack of privacy that there was in her house. Even if it wasn't her intention, she really proved the phrase "strict parents raise sneaky children". She started being sneaky because she wasn't allowed to do anything, even though she wasn't actually sneaking anything. But all that pretending made her able to hide her real life from her conservative mother.

As we predicted in the first paragraph, she ended up separating herself from her mother. She did not talk much to her in her adult life, especially after the wedding and the falling apart. But she felt so overcontrolled, having even a therapist who talked to her mother about what they talked about, that when she had the age to stop contact, she did. Her conversation became superficial to avoid the judgment of her mother.

Maybe if the mother had been more comprehensive and trustworthy, the daughter wouldn't have had to lie to her at all. She could have told her everything and been a normal teen who does some bad things, but still nothing dangerous, because they respect their parents and themselves. Better than being an overprotective parent is to be an understanding one.

 

Advertisement
  • Two women discussing, model image.
    via lucaakalu

    Two women discussing, model image. 

  • 1 (22F) grew up in an extremely religious household. My family was Mormon and I knew from a very young age that I was not.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • As a teenager, I got rebellious. I drank energy drinks, tried Starbucks, and stopped reading my scriptures. My mom thought I was becoming a classic 1960s leather jacket bad girl. I really wasn't. I think the worst thing I did was steal from the store because there was a body wash I really really wanted. I'm not saying I was a perfect angel by any means, I was definitely a little sh but not a bad little sh.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • My mom started snooping through my room. I think she was convinced I was hiding stuff from her and wanted to find the evidence. I knew because I would find her in my room when I got home from school or noticed my stuff moved around. Being a petty teenager, I decided to give her what she was looking for. I planted notebooks with grey art, some cheap I found online, and a used pregncy test. Not all at once, but building up to the pregncy test.
    via skeeballbob37
  • I even hide them in places she'd have to go looking for. Like under the fitted sheet pressed between my mattress and the wall, or just inside the crawl space between two beams, and buried at the bottom of my full trash can.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • Nothing really came of them, but my mom did text asking if I was hoping for a negative result like what the pregnancy test was showing.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my sister got married. We were all discussing family plans, raising kids, etc. My mom mentioned how she was able to stay one step ahead of my siblings and I. I guess my face showed it cause she asked if I didn't believe her. I thought we were past the statute of limitations for my crimes (aka, my mom would be upset for a little bit but it would eventually
    via ConstructionDecon
  • become a funny story to tell) and told her that I didn't think she really was.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • We started going back and forth. She mentioned how we got a treat if we drank all the water in our bottle throughout the day. I told her I dumped out my water and still got the treats. She mentioned taking me to therapy to get all my emotions out. I told her I didn't talk to the therapist and knew she tried to get the therapist to tell her what I talked about during our sessions. Then she mentioned upgrading the home security because she knew
    via ConstructionDecon
  • I'd lost my virginity as a teenager and kept me from sneaking out. I never snuck out and faked a phone call with my friend saying I had when I hadn't because I knew she was easedropping. This continued and I admitted I planted things in my bedroom for her to find because I knew she was snooping in my room.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • She got really upset and we haven't really talked much since.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • I'm not trying to justify my actions as a kid because I know I could've handled things better. I think in a way I was trying to become all the things my mom thought I was because at least it fulfilled her expectations of me.
    via ConstructionDecon
  • Classic-Wafer-7838 "Strict parents raise sneaky kids" being clearly demonstrated here. If she'd tried just talking to you instead of snooping, maybe she'd have actually known what was going on in your life.
    via Classic-Wafer-7838
  • StillStaringAtTheSky As a teenager, I got rebellious. I drank energy drinks, tried Starbucks, and stopped reading my scriptures. Definitely did not expect that second sentence.
    via StillStaringAtTheSky
  • borisslovechild NTA. Your mother's behaviour was toxic. She mad because you outsmarted her.
    via borisslovechild
  • UnlicensedThinker91 NTA. Your mom keeps proving she snooped, and you kept proving it worked.
    via UnlicensedThinker91
  • morpheus_dreams NTA you were a kid and pushing back against draconian nonsense, she should know that her parenting techniques weren't as sh hot as she thinks they were. She'll get over it.
    via morpheus_dreams
  • skeeballbob37 NTA, mom was crossing boundaries, you caught her at it and made a fool out of her.
    via skeeballbob37
  • A husband and wife holding their hands in marriage, visual representation.
    via jeremywongweddings

    A husband and wife holding their hands in marriage, visual representation. 

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

wedding drama raising teens sneaky children strict parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article