53-year-old stepdad demands his 19-year-old stepdaughter and her boyfriend contribute financially after they overstayed a 30-day arrangement by 4 months, while he struggles to pay rent

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jun 28, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

A man working a full-time job, a side hustle, Instacart on his days off, and doing compenstad donations to pay rent is being told he is unreasonable for asking two employed adults to contribute $150 a week to the household they have been living in for four months past their agreed move-out date

The original story was thirty days. That was four months ago. Both of them have jobs and bring in at least $1,000 a week combined, which means the reason they cannot save money is not actually money. It is priorities. A baby shower is a choice. Letting dishes sit for days in someone else's home while that person does this much to make ends meet and cover rent, is also a choice.

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  • AITAH for expecting a 19-year-old and 21-year-old to contribute financially?

    Man sitting on a bed holding a phone with one hand in his hair in a sunlit bedroom.
    via Geber86

    Man holding his phone with a strained, bewildered look, like one more household problem just landed on him, as shown by a model.

  • 5 years ago, my (M53) stepdaughter (now 19) started dating a boy who was 16. My wife (F43) allowed him, on occasion, to spend the night.
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  • When he wasn't allowed, he'd sneak in, hide in the closet, hide under the bed, or break into vacant apartments near us (he was arrested for trespassing). (His home is 100 miles away)
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  • If I'd give in and say he could stay one night and it would turn into 7. My wife has zero ability to tell her daughter what to do.
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  • After she graduated high school, she moved to another state, leaving him behind. She told my wife she realized she would never get away from him if she stayed home and he would hold her back.
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  • My greatest fear was that he would get her preg int, he wouldn't be able to take care of her (he didn't graduate high school), and raising the baby would fall on me and my wife.
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  • She came back home to get the rest of her stuff, and agreed to meet the guy to give each other their stuff back. She told my wife, she "kept it
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  • strictly professional." She returned to her new home, and after a month or two returned home.
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  • In March, she told us she was pregnt and due in August. We told her they couldn't live with us and he needed to get a job. He said he couldn't get a job in this city without
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  • Man in a white T-shirt holding a phone with his hand on his head in a sunlit bedroom.
    via Geber86

    Man holding up a phone with a pained, overwhelmed look, like he's trying to process one more responsibility at home, as shown by a model.

  • a place to stay. So I gave them 30 days to save up and move out. The deal was for 30 days and I wasn't going to do the dishes or take out the trash.
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  • That was 4 months ago. My stepdaughter said they can't save money because she's paying for her baby shower. The dishes and trash
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  • sit for days at a time. They both have jobs, and combined make at least $1000 a week.
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  • My wife who told me they wouldn't be allowed to live here with the baby has now switched to, "I'm not kicking out my daughter and grandbaby."
    via CaptainJackSorrow
  • Man sitting on a bed holding a phone, with one hand in his hair in a sunlit bedroom.
    via Geber86

    Man sitting on a bed with a strained, worried look, like he's weighing a hard household boundary, as shown by a model.

  • I am struggling to pay the bills. I work a full time job, have a small side hustle that pays $300 a month, and I do Instacart on one of my days
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  • off. This week, I used two PTO days to do Instacart for rent. I sold my plasma. I still had to ask my parents for help.
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  • I suggested that he applies to get on the lease, and then each of us contribute $150 a week to a fund for paying rent and bills. My wife
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  • immediately rejected that and threatened to take them and move out. She doesn't make enough to cover her expenses without me.
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  • DubbulG Run for your life. This will never get better at this point, that is a grown a woman who has never learned to support herself.
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  • Bright_Ad_3690 Saving for the shower? Priorities are way off here.
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  • parkchanwookiee You can't afford to support all these people. And the lack of emotional support is frankly shocking. Cut your losses, and run.
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  • Kind_Ad_3336 Major yikes. I'm 35 and know better than to live like this.
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  • BookishIntrovert99 She's not going to move out. She knows she can't support them without you. Call her bluff. Let her go. See how fast
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  • she'll backpedal. Your wife is the biggest problem. She's letting them mooch off you and she doesn't care that you're struggling. Talk to a lawyer.
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  • BronwynLane This is... a shitshow. I'm so sorry. You're renting? Who is named in the lease?
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  • calacmack Never ever allow someone to move into your home without a signed agreement. Give them both a written notice to leave within a specific period of time
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  • and hold them to it. The shower is insignificant; they are going to be parents and need to act like adults. NTA.
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  • Reception Alarmed9434 NTA, they're adults doing adult things, they need to contribute
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  • His wife agreed they could not stay with the baby, then reversed that the moment the baby became real. Now she is threatening to leave over a request for $150 a week She does not make enough to cover her own expenses without him, which means the threat is mostly leverage dressed up as principle.

    Why she thinks asking grown adults to contribute to a household they live in is a punishment will remain an unanswered question, because, well, it’s stupid. Because that’s clearly the bare minimum. And framing that as unreasonable while a 53-year-old burns PTO days to drive for Instacart and calls his parents for help is a level of cognitive dissonance that is genuinely impressive.

    He is not asking them to leave. He is asking them to participate. At some point the question stops being whether that is reasonable and starts being why everyone in this situation except him seems to think his financial stress is someone else’s problem.

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Tags

50s parenting stepdad adult children Parenting Fail entitled people
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