Sister Asks Bride To Change Her Wedding Date To Accommodate Brother-In-Laws’s Wedding, Bride Refuses

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 7, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Would you change your wedding date to make someone else's life easier?

Your wedding date is a big deal because planning weddings is a big deal. They take so much time, money, and effort to put together. No matter your budget or timeline, there is a lot at stake, and it can add up so quickly. So if anything goes wrong at any point, it is a pretty big deal. It can mean huge expenses for you, and huge inconvenience for everyone else. At the same time, you probably want to put together a wedding that accommodates the people you love. That's what a wedding is for, after all. It for the couple, sure, but it's mainly for the guests. Or else, why would you make it a public event? You probably want your closest loved ones there with you, cheering you on. But what if it doesn't work out for everyone?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10645329664
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A couple at their wedding shows off their wedding rings

    Subjects are models.

  • Am I in the wrong for not changing the day of my wedding?

    I (28f) am getting married in the fall. My fiance (31m) and have been trying to pick a date. We decided on 10/16/26
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • Because its all even numbers, it's on a Friday, and it's a math equation and I love that. I let my wedding Planning group chat know about the day we chose and my sister (30f) says "oh well, my brother-in-law just announced that he's getting married in October too but hasn't told us the day yet."
    via Apprehensive_One_450

  • That's what the bride was stumbling upon in this story, which she shared to the AITAH subreddit. She found herself going out of her way to change her wedding for someone else. This wouldn't have been a problem if this person was hugely important to her and had no other option. This wasn't the case, though. She was being selfish and wanted the world to revolve around her. Changing the date of a wedding is a pretty big deal, and she didn't want to do it for just anyone. So she stopped and thought about what this person would do for her. This can be a useful exercise sometimes when you think about how you're dealing with someone. Would they make sacrifices to make your life easier, or is it just a one-way street? You don't want to get caught in a relationship where nobody is making you feel valued, and nobody is willing to concede on their end. The bride in this story was in the middle of that tough realization. Keep reading to see how she worked through it and decide what you think.

  • Next day she tells me that her BIL's wedding is 10/16/26 And at first I offered to change the date of mine just so she could be there. But upon going over it further I realized that my sister and her BIL would never give up their chosen day for the sake of someone else's in law. That makes zero sense.
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • And my sister told me prior to this that "your wedding day belongs to the 2 of you, focus on what you want and don't bend anything to appease other people" But now she's catching an attitude because I'm essentially saying "hey, wait a minute. I shouldn't be expected to do this."
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • And I know that if roles were reversed and my sister refused to change her wedding date, she would be seen as more respectable because it. But me? I'm viewed as a if I don't change things.
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • Cheezburger Image 10645329920
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A couple lay on the floor taking a selfie, the woman wearing a wedding veil

    Subjects are models.

  • And back story, my sister and I have never been close. For 90% of our lives she's been nothing but a b to me. As kids she used to tell me to go k!ll myself and when I got preg_nt with my first child she offered to pay for an abortion because "there was no way I would ever be fit to be a mother"
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • And my mom? Same situation. I only invited them out of obligation. I know for a fact they'll have 12+ negative things to say at my wedding. I'm debating on removing them from the group chat and just ghosting them and keeping them out of the loop.
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • But my moms mom has cerebral palsy and my mom is her ride and I NEED her to be there... but I can always find a way to get her transported another way.. And I don't know if I necessarily want to burn that bridge entirely only because my kids shouldn't have to lose family over this.
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • But at the same time, my mother and sister have rarely been involved with my kids and my oldest will be 11 next month and my daughter is 5 and a half. They rarely ask about them, they don't come to visit. They just shower them with gifts during the holidays....
    via Apprehensive_One_450
  • So.... reddit... AITAH for not being accommodating so that my sister can attend my wedding?
    via Apprehensive_One_450

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Wedding Themes family drama bride wedding party mean wedding story brides family Reddit weddings
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