Husband Takes Job at Wife's Company and Promises to Stay 5 Years, She Worries About Her Professional Reputation When He Leaves After 15 Months

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 17, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Is it ever a good idea to work at the same place as your partner?

Just because some relationships begin in the workplace doesn't mean that they should stay there. While some manage to successfully balance the personal and professional, there are many factors that can make working with a romantic partner something that you will come to regret. It can be a struggle to keep emotions out of it.

We are often told that who we choose to be in a serious relationship with is one of the most defining decisions that we can make in life, so combining that with our career path can end up being a risky decision. If either the couple or the job doesn't last, it can have more of an impact than it would otherwise.

Being a good coworker or boss and being a good partner are not one and the same thing, but there is some overlap in what is important. Being willing to listen and take on board the opinions of others is something that is applicable to all kinds of relationships, but especially with those that exist both at the workplace and at home. It could be that both your career and relationship depend on it.

 

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  • A representation of a man in a suit sitting behind a laptop, talking on a cell phone, and making notes in a notebook
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A representation of a man in a suit sitting behind a laptop, talking on a cell phone, and making notes in a notebook

  • A woman was married to a man who was a serial job hopper, while she had been with the same company for twenty years. He decided he wanted to go for a role at the company she worked at, and she was worried her reputation would suffer if he left the position after a short amount of time.

    He got the job and promised he would stay there for at least five years. However, after a little over a year, he got annoyed at some decisions made by executive management and found another job offer. The woman was afraid that her worst fears were about to come true if he left.

  • Husband and I disagree about a job

    So my husband has worked for six different companies in the 12 years we've been married. All of his jobs have been director level positions. He says it's always been about getting a promotion, closer to home, better benefits, etc. He's not wrong that he has lucked into an equal or better job
    via No_Bar9417
  • each time, but each departure has followed him not getting his way in some way or another. My perspective is it's a pattern of behavior. He doesn't like to be told no and is never satisfied. As soon as he doesn't get his way, he bails, and looks for another job.
    via No_Bar9417
  • About 6 years ago he applied for a job with my company. I was very nervous about it and was relieved when he was the 2nd choice. A little over a year ago the position came open again. I asked him not to even apply if he was going to do the same thing he's always done and look elsewhere as soon as he was
    via No_Bar9417
  • told told no, as this could compromise my reputation within the company I've been with for 20 years. He told me if he got the job he "wouldn't even look for anything else for at least five years." He was offered the job with my company and he accepted.
    via No_Bar9417
  • Fast forward 15 months, he's not happy with a few decisions the CEO/CBO made that directly affect his department, and he decides to apply elsewhere. (I agree the decisions are and not very fair to him.) Well, he was offered a job with the new company and wants my opinion and to
    via No_Bar9417
  • talk it through with me. Leaving my company now would cause a major disruption as he is currently right in the middle of managing multiple huge projects and he knows there isn't anyone else qualified to take over. It will undoubtedly affect my reputation and lead to constant questions for me
    via No_Bar9417
  • about why he left. We also both work closely with the highest levels of management and it's not uncommon for them to share updates about his department with my team, so it will definitely come up.
    via No_Bar9417
  • This is exactly what I was afraid of and why I asked him not to take this job in the first place if he wasn't gonna see it through. He says the new job is an opportunity he never thought he would get and it's a stepping stone to where he eventually wants to get in his career. He's trying to rationalize it by saying the salary is higher, but he will have to
    via No_Bar9417
  • pay for benefits, which he currently gets for free so the raise is basically a wash. All other benefits and perks are basically the same. I do recognize that it is a job he would love and I feel bad holding him back but I'm so mad. He says he wont take the job if I'm not ok with it, but I told him he broke my trust when he applied in the first place so he should just do what he wants.
    via No_Bar9417
  • A representation of a man sitting behind a laptop, looking to the side while talking on a cell phone
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A representation of a man sitting behind a laptop, looking to the side while talking on a cell phone

  • Grand-Fun-206 NTA because he told you this wouldn't happen until the 5 year mark. He also sounds like he keeps looking for a reason to be unhappy in whatever role he is currently in which I would find mentally draining in a partner.
    via Grand-Fun-206
  • PhillipGOes Just let him quit. At least you know he'll never come back to your company and you have someone who makes good. money. It will blow over faster than you think. Whoever was in his position left after a year anyway.
    via PhillipGOes
  • raptone50 Let him go and then you'll never have to deal with him professionally again. When people ask questions just tell them the truth, and remind them that you don't control his career.
    via raptone50
  • Midiusa NTA, you told him not to and he selfishly did it anyway. Unless you get a different job or the 5 year mark is over he should stick to it.
    via Midiusa
  • He probably won't. " but I told him he broke my trust when he applied in the first place so he should just do what he wants" this is harsh but I probably would have said the same.
    via Midiusa
  • ScrewEverything NTA, he's doing exactly what he promised he wouldnt do. If he didnt feel confident in staying for 5 years he shouldnt have joined OP's company, after all he hasnt had much trouble finding employment
    via ScrewEverything
  • MekalbD2 NTA. However, I doubt this will hurt your reputation if he leaves. If there's a chance it will hurt your career or compensation, then that's another thing. But if you're not going to be canned because of this, it could be "any marketing is good marketing."
    via MekalbD2

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