Roommate Lets Her Boyfriend DJ in Shared Apartment After Midnight, Even Though Her Roommate Had a 5:30 AM Shift The Next Day

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

Would you be able to live with a roommate who thinks that this is acceptable? 

It can be really inconvenient to date when you have roommates. Your roommates might get annoyed that your partner is sleeping over most nights of the week, using up all of the water, and sitting on the communal couch all the time. On the flip side, you might get annoyed that your roommate's partner is taking over your life. You overhear them doing stuff every night, and while you're happy that they're having a good time, you also want to get some shuteye! Some people will specifically request single roommates because they hate it when people's partners come over. Others will specifically refrain from dating people with roommates because they don't want to deal with the drama, which is a totally understandable stance, especially when you're in your 30s and tired of roommate debates. 

As someone who has had a situation where my roommate's boyfriend brought an insane situation into my house, I have so much empathy for the girl in this story. She was just trying to get some sleep before her 5:30 AM shift, which was probably already difficult to manage, when her roommate's boyfriend decided he needed to perform his DJ set loudly for the entire apartment to hear after midnight. Did I mention that this all happened on a Tuesday night? 

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  • An amateur DJ is practicing his set at his girlfriend's apartment while her roommate tries to sleep so he can “feel the room” before his big performance.
    via Brock Wegner (Unsplash+)

    An amateur DJ is practicing his set at his girlfriend's apartment while her roommate tries to sleep so he can "feel the room" before his big performance. 

    The photo uses a model to represent the situation.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to let my roommate's "man" practice his DJ set in our apartment at 11pm on a Tuesday?

    I (23F) have lived with my roommate Priya (24F) for almost two years. We've always split things pretty fairly chores, quiet hours, guests, all of it worked out because we communicated. Genuinely one of the easiest living situations I've had.
    via u/No-Car9648
  • About four months ago she started dating a guy who's really into DJing as a hobby. Nice enough guy when I've met him, but he's decided our apartment is his practice space because his own place has thin walls and his neighbors complained.
    via u/No-Car9648
  • At first it was occasional, an hour on a Saturday afternoon, headphones half the time. I didn't mind. But it's escalated. Last week he was here three nights, and Tuesday he had his full setup going (not headphones, actual speakers) until almost midnight because according to him he has a set
    via u/No-Car9648
  • this weekend and needs to feel the room. I work an early shift and have to be up at 5:30am. I knocked on Priya's door around 11:15 and asked if they could wrap up or at least drop the volume since I had work in six hours. He got visibly annoyed, made a
    via u/No-Car9648
  • comment about how creative work doesn't run on a schedule, and Priya didn't really back me up, just kind of laughed it off and said he'll wrap up soon. He didn't wrap up for another 40 minutes.
    via u/No-Car9648
  • DJ continues practicing his set late into the weeknight, even though his girlfriend's roommate asked him to stop so she could get enough sleep before her early shift.
    via Brock Wegner (Unsplash+)

    DJ continues practicing his set late into the weeknight, even though his girlfriend's roommate asked him to stop so she could get enough sleep before her early shift.

    The man in this image is a model, not the real person in this story. 

  • The next morning I was exhausted and snapped at Priya a little, telling her that her boyfriend can't keep using our shared space like it's his personal studio, especially not on a weeknight, and that going forward he needs to ask before setting up, not just show up and assume it's fine.
    via u/No-Car9648
  • She's now saying I'm being controlling and that I'm making her choose between me and him over "just a little noise". Her boyfriend apparently thinks I'm uptight and clearly don't get artists. A mutual friend told me I could've handled it more gently since he's just passionate.
    via u/No-Car9648
  • Roommates argue over whether it's acceptable for one of their boyfriends to stay at their apartment late to loudly DJ.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Roommates argue over whether it's acceptable for one of their boyfriends to stay at their apartment late to loudly DJ.

    The image does not feature the real roommates in this story.

  • I don't think wanting quiet on a Tuesday night in my own home is unreasonable, but now I feel like the uptight roommate who can't support anyone's dreams. AITA?
    via u/No-Car9648
  • 1n_and_AroundTheFur DJing as a hobby myself, that's just ride. He doesn't live there so he shouldn't be able to even impose on the quiet hours. Also, he's a bedroom DJ. He doesn't need to "feel the room." It's not like bruv is headlining Tomorrowland. He's TA. Also, tell him I said to get off the Numarks and get a "Nujob"
    via u/1n_and_AroundTheFur
  • No-Car9648 OP Right?? "Feel the room" for a Tuesday night practice set in a two-bedroom apartment is sending me. Bro is not closing out Ultra, he's mixing in someone else's living room while she has to be up at 5:30. And thank you for saying it he doesn't pay rent here, he doesn't get a vote on the quiet hours. Also stealing "get a Nujob" that's evil
    via u/No-Car9648
  • btec-gamer NTA. 11:15pm isn't a reasonable time to be running a DJ setup on a weeknight. Your roommate has to appreciate that, or she isn't as reasonable as you've said she is.
    via u/btec-gamer
  • PhilsFanDrew ΝΤΑ But I'd start looking into other living arrangements for the near future.
    via u/PhilsFanDrew
  • juliewbb NTA he can't offend his neighbors who are strangers so he'll offend you, his girlfriend's friend?
    via u/juliewbb
  • Elfntjam I would turn up some music or bang pots and pans at 530 am so she/ they can understand how unreasonable it is for you. That is just r de.
    via u/Elfntjam
  • dragonsandvamps ΝΤΑ Zero reason he should be doing this at your place and not his.
    via u/dragonsandvamps
  • carlitayeeta NTA. Dude stand up for yourself. It's YOUR apartment, not his. Tell her no more boyfriend on weeknights since he cannot respect your space. I don't understand how he's so completely unaware of his behavior and not embarrassed to be taking up space in your place.
    via u/carlitayeeta

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boyfriend dj midnight bad roommates girlfriend noise early loud roommates apartment
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