Person noticed that men don’t usually receive compliments, hardly ever, so they started to tell them good things about them and discovered something: ‘It's about filling a gap that most people don't even realize exists.’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Jul 27, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Being nice and friendly is not only something we do to feel better about ourselves. It is also an incredible way to light up someone's day!

The person in the story below did something that could be deemed as a social experiment. This person realized that most men don't receive compliments on a daily basis. Most of them go by with months of nobody saying something nice about them. This stuck with this person. They thought this wasn't only sad but also easy to fix. They saw it as an opportunity to do better. They decided to start saying aloud all the good things they noticed about others, whether it was because of a new piece of clothing, the way they did a task, or simply because they looked good that day.

This had an impact almost immediately. Not only did they discover that men were looking happier after hearing the compliment, but they also started to treat this person better and trust them easily. These compliments weren't in excess. They were simple things that this person noticed, as if it was just highlighting the positive aspects of these men. And how they acted after hearing the compliment motivated this person to do it even more and to also start having more friendly relationships with these men. For example, in the gym, they just told someone that their grip in a certain exercise was great, and that made the two people closer. This person wasn't inventing anything. It's just saying the good things you think about other people.

Maybe we need to pay attention to stories like this one, with actual emotional value and a good teaching moment. We need to be more like this person. Bringing kindness and friendliness to every place we go. Telling compliments just to say them without expecting anything in return is something so kind and heartwarming. We have to start doing it, make it a trend, make 'being nice' our whole personality. 
 

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  • 01
    This started as an experiment and turned into something that genuinely changed how I see people. A few months ago I read a comment on here that said most men can count on one hand the number of compliments they've received in the last year. I thought that was an exaggeration. So I started paying attention. Asked a few of my guy friends when the last time someone complimented them was.
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  • 02
    A group of four friends hugging and looking at the sunset. Representation.
    via Helena Lopes

    A group of four friends hugging and looking at the sunset.

    Representation.

  • 03
    The answers were brutal. "My mom said I looked nice at Christmas." "A coworker said good job on a project like three months ago." One of my friends sat there for a solid fifteen seconds thinking and then said "I honestly can't remember." So I started doing it. Nothing over the top. Nothing weird. Just genuine, specific compliments dropped casually into normal interactions.
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  • 04
    "That jacket looks great on you." "You explained that really well in the meeting." "You've got a solid sense of humor man, you always make this group better." The reactions were unlike anything I expected. Most guys don't know what to do with it. There's this half-second pause where you can see their brain processing something it doesn't have a script for. Then they light up. Not in a dramatic
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  • 05
    way. In a quiet way. A slight shift in posture. A smile they try to play off. A "thanks man" that sounds different from how they say it about anything else. One guy at my gym who I'd been nodding at for months but never really talked to. I told him his deadlift form looked really clean. He started a full conversation with me on the spot. We've talked every session since. All because I said one positive thing about
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  • 06
    something he was clearly working hard at. Here's what I learned from doing this. Complimenting people isn't about making yourself likable. It's about filling a gap that most people don't even realize exists. We walk around assuming everyone around us knows they're doing fine. They don't. Most people are operating on zero external validation and pretending it doesn't affect them.
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  • 07
    The other thing I noticed is that it completely changes the dynamic of a relationship. When you're the person who makes someone feel seen without wanting anything in return, they trust you faster than they trust anyone else. Not because you're manipulating them. But because you gave them something nobody else bothers to give. It costs you literally nothing. Three seconds of your time. One
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  • 08
    honest observation about something you genuinely noticed. And for some people that's the first kind thing anyone has said to them in weeks. Be the person who says the thing everyone else is thinking but nobody says out loud. It's the easiest way to make the world slightly less cold and it turns strangers into friends faster than any conversation technique ever will.
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  • 09
    Four male friends laughing and talking at the top of a mountain. Representation.
    via Matheus Ferrero

    Four male friends laughing and talking at the top of a mountain.

    Representation.

  • 10
    TR6er You are a very kind person.
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  • 11
    DrCreepen VanPasta Please continue. As a man who's reached his early 50s, I go out of the way to complement other men on any small aspect of their being I can find to be nice about. You are definitely making someone's day.
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  • 12
    OaklV I've done the same experiment before and seen the same results as you. It became part of my social scene. I always look for positve things to say, as to avoid shallow compliments. You can see people need to hear them more often. Too much negativity in the world. Well done, op
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  • 13
    JFasting This is so true.. I gave a compliment on my classmate's hair cut and he wooed and married me.. it will be 25 yrs next year.
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  • 14
    ExMoMisfit I remember reading something from a woman who transitioned to a man and he said he couldn't believe how lonely it is as a man. Few close friends, no real support network, and no compliments! I was surprised to read that at the time because I never knew women had all that
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  • 15
    AJG1126 Kindness is so powerful
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  • 16
    LimonNerd I love this. It's very eye opening, a little sad, but makes complete sense. In today's world it's rare to receive a genuine, nothing expected in return, compliment. Not only do I want improve myself and more like OP, I am going to pay attention to others who go out of their way to compliment someone else.
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  • 17
    The kind of person who says "That jacket looks great on you." and "You explained that really well in the meeting." is the kind of person I want to be around, make friends with, have on my team, work for,. etc.
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  • 18
    erinbisme- I started to do this about 3 years ago as I am a woman who works in a male dominated industry and I have seen some of these men react in a way that makes my heart so sad for them as they never ask for any kind of compliment or anything else but they also are looked over and never told directly by anyone what is anything positive or good about them.. so it's been my mission to spread positive energy, kindness and
    via Most-Gold-434
  • 19
    genuine support towards the people around me and I have actually felt myself being a happier person in general (added bonus here). And it's con ious! You make one person's day better and they are subconsciously overflowing with positivity and then they spread positive energy around them..
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