Employee gets fired for poor performance, demands non-manager gives her reference: 'I am not sure I would be the best fit'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 9, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

Is a former colleague a reference that is as appropriate as a manager?

Switching jobs is often a challenging process on many levels, and even more so when somebody doesn't leave their previous employment on good terms.  Applying and interviewing are a chore no matter how high you get in a career, and usually, companies expect other people to vouch for your credibility as well. 

This means that the ideal conditions for leaving a job are a well-thought-out resignation and maintaining decent working relationships with former colleagues. Nobody wants to get as far as securing a shiny new position and then realizing that their former employer has taken the chance away because of what they have to say about their work ethic.

With all the stress that comes from job searching, it is easy to look at references as an afterthought, just a little something to allow a new workplace to double-check they are making a good decision. However, they are a necessity for many positions, and not being able to produce adequate proof of them can be a problem. Even if somebody aces the interviews and has a glowing resume, they also need to be a trustworthy hire.

 

 

 

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  • Two female employees stand behind a counter with a laptop, having a discussion
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Two female employees stand behind a counter with a laptop, having a discussion

  • An employee who was more senior on their team was taken aback by a request they had received from a former colleague. Part of their duties involved training new people, which is what they had done with this coworker, but they had never acted as her direct supervisor.

    The colleague had lasted six months at their company and then failed her probation, meaning that she was out of a job and needed a reference for a new one. Instead of asking the manager, she decided that this coworker would be a better bet. They felt conflicted, as they did not feel like they were the most appropriate person to give an honest review.

  • Co-worker got fired and is asking me to provide a reference for her job search instead of our manager

    I am a senior team member and was involved with training one of our junior staff this year who was hired by our manager. Our organization has a 6 month probation period, and she unfortunately did not pass, and was fired. I did not have anything to do with this decision and was surprised to hear
    via blueandredberries
  • it. My interaction with her was specifically to train new team members on our processes, teach them, and help them out while they are learning.
    via blueandredberries
  • She contacted me to let me know she was fired and asked if I could be her reference for her job search. I have never been a reference before, and I am not sure if I would be the best fit since I worked with her only on training and wasn't overseeing her overall abilities.
    via blueandredberries
  • I do want to help her out though, and wondering if anyone else has advice on this?
    via blueandredberries
  • A woman points to a clipboard that another woman is holding while standing behind a laptop
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman points to a clipboard that another woman is holding while standing behind a laptop

  • Emperor_of_All Well you are a senior member and she was a junior member so you are technically in charge of mentoring her and knew how she worked. Some senior people provide direct supervision even if they don't do reviews of their juniors.
    via Emperor_of_All
  • In terms of the reference, this is a judgement call, it costs you nothing IMO, the question really comes down to if you like this person enough to help them out. A group of my work friends used to this for each other all the time. If someone called up asking if I worked with whoever and would I
    via Emperor_of_All
  • be a refence it would be easy. There is literally nothing I can lose in this exchange. The only way I wouldn't do this is if I hated the other person. Also super sad that she only worked there for 6 months and needs you as her reference. That means she really has no one else IMO.
    via Emperor_of_All
  • congressguy12 Of course you should do it. You'd want someone to do it for you. Always side with the worker over the corporation, this shouldn't even be a question
    via congressguy12
  • royalmull3t Help ur fellow human bro
    via r0yalmull3t
  • FitnessLover1998 You are over thinking this. Just give her a reference. Not like it's going to follow you around for life.
    via FitnessLover1998
  • LinkBeginning4819 Job market kind of s ks, you could always help a sister out. If you are in a small field it could backfire though. I wouldn't lie or anything. Usually when they get to the reference stage it's because they are a top contender for that role.
    via LinkBeginning4819
  • Lord_Scriptic Whether you know her or not, unless you just really didn't like her there's literally no reason at all to do anything else than put 100% into gassing her up to her potential new employer if you get a call.
    via Lord_Scriptic
  • ancientastronaut2 I have used a team lead or supervisor as a reference a couple of times in the past when the manager was the problem why I left or was let go. Just speak to her abilities from when you trained her and don't specify your time with her was limited to that.
    via ancientastronaut2
  • It's a nice thing to do when someone needs a reference and can't use their direct manager. Otherwise she'll be in a world of hurt. Unless the person was a total or something, it's the kind thing to do. Pay it forward, you never know when you might ne in the same situation.
    via ancientastronaut2

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