Chef tries to cut partner out of joint catering business, gets annoyed when she protests: 'I have been paid little to nothing'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 19, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Love and business are not always a good mix.

An important part of picking a partner is for the two of you to be on the same page financially, but doing that to the extent that you share income streams is not necessarily a cheat code. For a start, if the venture fails, then you are both dealing with the fallout of it at the same time, and on top of that, it gives you yet another topic to potentially argue over. 

At the same time, the opportunity to pursue a passion project together that may well turn a profit is the kind of thing that some people really enjoy. They see the payoff as worth any potential risk to the relationship. The prospect of a bonding experience that involves building something together is just too tempting to pass up. In fairness, trying to succeed in something like this is one of the ultimate tests of a bond between one person and another. It can either show that they pass the test of working together, or that one person is more invested in a way where things might end in tears. The only way to find out is to try.

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  • A man looks away from a woman who is berating him as they sit together.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A man looks away from a woman who is berating him as they sit together. Picture does not depict real parties.


     

  • A woman had enjoyed operating a private catering business with her partner of several years, who was a chef. She offered him a significant amount of help with the service he provided while receiving little compensation for her part. She felt it was the price to pay to help him find success.

    However, her partner decided that he no longer wanted her to be part of the business. He had a friend he had decided he preferred to do business with. The woman was angry and felt she had been pushed aside for no good reason. She started to worry that she had overreacted to his plans.

  • Am I wrong for wanting to break up after being told my partner wants to cut me out of the business we created?

    My partner (33 M) and I (36F) have been together for 2.5 years. It's been rocky but we have a lot of love for each other. He is a chef, and I have my own separate business, but have almost 15 years of fine dining service experience under my belt with a ton of food and wine knowledge. My personal business is unrelated to this and I've built it over
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • the last ten years. Something that may be related to my reaction in this is that five years ago I went into business with another woman and helped fund it for two years. I caught her mishandling funds and I got kicked out because she the business was her idea originally. There's more to it but to make it simple, I felt very betrayed.
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669

  • The business was the way that this couple connected, or so she thought.

    For the last two years, I have helped him build a private chef business. We bring our own dishes, flatware and linens, even table decor if needed. I have funded all the supplies, built his website, helped him get his LLC etc as I am familiar with self run businesses. He's very talented, and I have loved
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • doing this with him. We work very well as a team, and I have been paid little to nothing for doing these dinners. I provide the table service... it's like bringing a restaurant to your home. I help make sure dinner is paced correctly, if there are wine pairings, I
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • help him choose food for those courses when planning the menu. We have done many of them and have a system down. He lives in my home (rent free because he has had a hard time staying in a kitchen job consistently) and we use my car for these dinners so he uses the kitchen for prep. I have sacrificed days of my own work to do these because I want it to be successful.
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669

  • It seemed like her position was subject to change.

    Over the last two weeks he has been talking to a friend of his who is thinking of moving back to our city. They worked in service together over the years at a few places. She needs to find an income source and doesn't have good options in her current state. She is a bartender and has also served. She contacted him proposing they start a business
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • together doing larger catering gigs. While it sounds good in theory, they have all these big plans that take money. The kind of money that needs a large business loan. This morning he came to me and said he will be pursuing this with her and he no longer feels that relationship and business mix. I started to express how hurt I felt that I
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669

  • She was floored by his announcement.

    wasn't included in any of it. He made it clear to me that it's his business and not mine. That I will have no part in it. Honestly I kind of lost it. He was quite mean to me and told me I was overreacting and it wasn't a big deal. He has a tendency to minimize my feelings or act like I'm making a big deal when I react to him doing some bulls, and
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • shuts down conversations. I did get pretty heightened as he continued to make statements that devalued me and I did end up screaming and saying things in anger. This isn't the first time I've felt used and betrayed but this one hits different.
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • I want to understand and I know he is entitled to do what he wants in his life but is it overreacting to end a long relationship over something like this? I want him out of my home as soon as possible and he doesn't have the money to leave, but at this point I feel like I've been supporting someone who doesn't care anymore. I don't need anyone to get into legal ramifications of kicking him out... I'm aware of them. AIO?
    via Weekly_Wrangler_4669
  • Close-up of a chef cutting tomatoes on a chopping board with ingredients and cutlery around him.
    via Or Hakim

    Close-up of a chef cutting tomatoes on a chopping board with ingredients and cutlery around him. Photo is a representation of scenes.


     

  • Commenters felt like she shouldn't have to deal with him any longer.

    pegwins NOR. He's doing what he wants to do any you should too. If he can't afford another place that's not your problem.
    via pegwins
  • -Quaint- NOR. This is an insane situation. This a hole is living with you rent- free, using you as free labor and money for his business unpaid, and has the gall to treat you this way? There's no coming back from this, please kick him out. You owe him nothing.
    via -Quaint-

  • It was time for her to get her payback (literally).

    Objective Repulsive18 Tally up your loans with interest, payment for your hours worked, gas, wear & tear on your car, utilities, rent etc. Hand him a bill. Tell him this is what he owes you. Then lock up an equal value of supplies until he pays up. Oh, and
    via ObjectiveRepulsive18
  • definitely kick him out. NOR, but please don't go into business with anyone else without an iron clad contract.
    via ObjectiveRepulsive18
  • ManagementFinal3345 NTA. And the next time NO HELP, MONEY, OR LABOR without a LEGAL CONTRACT that names you co owner with the business registered in your name.
    via ManagementFinal3345
  • People can't kick you out of things that you legally own. Get it on paper. And offer him ZERO HELP with this new venture.
    via ManagementFinal3345

  • They were suspicious of his bartender friend.

    TrinaTheBallerina NOR Let his "friend" move back to the area and set up a business with him, in her new place. Sounds like he thinks he can really make it work and has not at all considered how much you have put into this.
    via TrinaTheBallerina
  • OddGuarantee4061 Did you ever think of finding someone else to do the cooking and making a business without him? You already have the skills, the materials and the kitchen. All you need is a decent person to work with. Let your bf go off and fail on his own while you thrive.
    via OddGuarantee4061

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