Mom wants to homeschool 3-year-old, sister-in-law wants to dissuade her because she can't spell and lets daughter watch TV all day: 'She barely passed high school'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 19, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Should a parent be required to meet certain qualifications to homeschool their kids?

The public education system has many flaws, but generally speaking, parents who send their kids to public school can trust that the teachers at that school had to go through some specialized training to be there. While that doesn't automatically translate into being an amazing educator or being able to provide all the individualized support that students may need, it does ensure that those providing the education have an education themselves.

While homeschool may be the best option for some kids, one of its biggest drawbacks is that parents can decide to opt into it without taking into consideration whether their own knowledge is sufficient to be a full-time teacher. Just because you know what 2+2 is doesn't mean you understand the most effective way to teach that to your child. 

Naturally, this doesn't stop most people who are insistent that homeschooling is what they want to do with their children. The qualification barrier isn't going to get in the way of them providing an education that they have full control over. They want to make sure they are supervising their kids through every step of the process.

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  • A mom holding her young daughter while standing on a trampoline in a backyard.
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    A mom holding her young daughter while standing on a trampoline in a backyard. Picture does not depict real parties.


     

  • A mom felt concerned by her young sister-in-law's insistence that she would be homeschooling her 3-year-old daughter and her younger sister when the time came. She had struggled to finish her education herself, and her relative was skeptical that the parenting style she had would translate well into giving her kids a well-rounded education.

    The mom was considering homeschooling for her own kids, and she worried that she would be hypocritical if she told her sister-in-law that she didn't think that this would be an appropriate choice for her. She just wanted her nieces to get the best chance to learn.

     

  • Would I be wrong if I told my SIL she’s too dumb to homeschool?

    My (24f) sil (20f) wants to homeschool. She barely passed high school, and finished doing online homeschool. I know that the schooling system doesn't work for everyone. I know how beneficial and harmful both public school, and homeschooling can be.
    via Depressobeans7
  • I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know the basics. I Aced all my classes, and genuinely loved school. I would like to homeschool, I'm going to continue doing all the research I can, before I make my decision.
    via Depressobeans7
  • My sil wants to homeschool my nieces. She constantly tells me how "exited" she is to homeschool. At first I thought it was a typo. Then she continued using exited instead of excited. This isn't the only word she misspells, but the most frequently used one.
    via Depressonbeans7

  • Her parenting style was already hands-off.

    Her toddler (3f) watches tv all day. If she's awake, she's watching tv. When I used to watch her, she had such an amazing vocabulary. Now that my sil is a stay at home mom, I need to ask her 5 times to repeat herself because I can't understand what she's saying.
    via Depressobeans7
  • She used to love reading with me, and playing outside. Now she throws a huge tantrum if she can't watch tv. I get so worried about my sil wanting to homeschool, just because I mentioned I would like to. She also had her second baby, only because she found out I was preg nt.
    via Depressobeans7

  • The parents were easily influenced.

    I know I sound jealous or a little crazy. But I'm serious, they only had their second because I told them I was preg nt. Originally they were going to try for baby #2 after they got married. Then last June I told them I was preg int, they weren't even engaged at this point. They looked at me and said oh we should start trying!
    via Depressobeans7
  • I don't want my nieces to be stunted because of their dumb parents. My little brother thinks "daughter" is spelled "dotter" and it's not in a fun quirky way. He is just genuinely stupid. They have little to no math skills. They use the calculator for everything, and my little brother can't even read an analog clock.
    via Depressobeans7

  • The mom wanted to drop some subtle hints.

    ETA: When we were talking about it today, she mentioned how she doesn't want them in a classroom all day. And she plans on going up to my dad's farm, to teach them about the cows. Edit 2: I wouldn't outright call her dumb. Just advise she's probably not the best equipped to homeschool.
    via Depressobeans7
  • So would I be the a hle, if I told them I don't think they should homeschool? And if I'm not how should I go about it? I was thinking during the next conversation about homeschooling. I would say something along the lines of, do you really think you are equipped to homeschool? I personally don't believe that you are.
    via Depressobeans7
  • A close-up of a young girl with her arms outstretched, a woman in the unfocused background behind her.
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    A close-up of a young girl with her arms outstretched, a woman in the unfocused background behind her. Licensed media provided as editorial context.

  • There were tactful ways to approach the topic.

    mladyhawke I think you should start with asking them why they want to homeschool and work from there. Cause that's a reasonable unoffensive question. Then, based on their answer, you can proceed to point out some of the areas
    via mladyhawke
  • where they failed and have nothing to pass on. But you have to be gentle or they won't hear anything you say.
    via mladyhawke
  • MeFolly You could share with her all the research you have done. The materials to buy/source and review, the state mandated progress tests, the need to supplement art/music/sports. Homeschooling well takes a lot of effort.
    via MeFolly

  • It was clear that she didn't have good resources for teaching.

    Maleficent_Pay_4154 I have to presume you are in the USA because otherwise I'm Not sure it would even be a question. It's scary that anyone can home school their children with no Syllabus Editing to add NTA
    via Maleficent_Pay_4154
  • Standard Vermicelli33 I suppose you could just tell her you're sending your kids to public school. If she does everything you do, then she'll do that. Just don't tell her if you decide to homeschool.
    via StandardVermicelli33
  • loachtastic You could suggest online public school. Programs vary by state put she would be provided curriculum and have a hand in everything.
    via loachtastic

  • This was a conversation that could cause drama.

    unbenouncedtome lol after reading all this, I would also be soooo tempted to tell her how stupid she is. But you'll have to navigate this with way more tact to not cause a rift.
    via unbenouncedtome
  • AnonAtSea ....no, you would be justified. But it wouldn't dissuade them, and it would likely make them dig their heels in more. Also, it sounds like the parents are under-educated despite graduating from a public high school? So, placing the kids in one isn't necessarily going to help them avoid their parents' foibles.
    via AnonAtSea
  • Instead, share information on good programs. Maybe the parents will end up learning along with the kids. ...if they use a program where they actually teach, instead of one where they plop the kid in front of a screen.
    via AnonAtSea
  • The programs that are available nowadays for home education are extremely varied and many are of excellent quality. There might be hope for the kids - in spite of the parents' starting skills.
    via AnonAtSea

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family drama parenting sister in law homeschooling
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