Friend gets mad at trip companion during Erasmus as he was leaving him alone in the hostel when he was sleeping, as he wanted to take advantage of the holiday: 'He just kept repeating that my behavior was "shameful" and "not cool."'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 22, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Going on a trip with a friend has only two possible outcomes. Let's hope it's the good one!

When planning a trip with a friend, there is a lot that can happen. You can fight over what activities to do, you can argue about the money you are spending in hotel rooms, you can distance yourselves from each other because of the awful time you shared during said trip. But it can also have a positive outcome: you can grow closer because of the trip bonding, you can learn more about each other, you can discover that going on trips with friends is the best way to spend vacation. That all depends solely on the attitude all of you have during the trip. How you compromise and communicate, trying to maintain your tones and have the best time together you can possibly have.

As someone who LOVES friends' trips, I can give you a bunch of reasons why they are the best kind of vacation you can get. But if you have the wrong attitude, then they won't work. I have gone on trips with friends, and it's important to keep in mind that you are going with people you like, people you care about. So, no matter the situation or the frustration you may feel, remain civil and kind. You don't want to fight and argue for days. You want to spend a nice time with amazing people. A lot can happen on a trip. Try to let the bad parts slip in, and the good parts become the main memories.

I remember that on my last trip with friends, we argued because of the condition that the apartment we were staying in was in. The place was great, but we were leaving dirty plates in the sink and clothes on the floor. It made me crazy. Instead of confronting them, I did something better. I started cleaning and kindly asked for help. They all pitched in, and in no time the place was looking great. So, don't be like the people from the story. Talk to your friends. You will probably find a solution where we all get what we want. And if not, maybe they aren't that good of friends. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    We were on an Erasmus trip covering Madrid, Barcelona, and Valencia. When we finally arrived in Madrid after a long journey, it was hot as h I. We checked into two separate rooms. That night, after hanging out, we needed to decide on a wake-up time. I suggested taking it easy and just getting up whenever, since there weren't that many places to visit, but he insisted on setting an alarm for 8:00 AM. I agreed, as I'm usually flexible with sleep. Around 2:00 AM, he texted me "sleep dude,". The nex
    via Pristine_Net_8050
  • 02

    Friends enjoying the trip through Europe

    A group of friends travelling together. Not actual story subjects.
    via Duy Pham

    A group of friends travelling together. 

    Not actual story subjects. 

  • 03
    texted him, but got no reply. Knowing he's a heavy sleeper and usually takes hours to get up, I waited around in my room for about an hour. Eventually, I got bored of scrolling through Instagram in bed when I could be exploring Madrid, so I decided to go for a quick walk near the hostel. He finally woke up around 9:00 AM, showered, and was ready by 10:00. I texted him saying I was nearby, and suggested meeting at a market for breakfast. Suddenly, he called me, furious, aggressively barking, "Whe
    via Pristine_Net_8050
  • 04
    and put me on the defensive. My map glitched a bit, making me 10 minutes late to the spot, but we didn't address the tension then. The next day in Barcelona, he wanted to buy a stroller from a store far from our hostel, something he could have ordered online since filling tax-free form online is an option. Even though we only had two days in Barcelona, I didn't complain. I stayed near the hostel, avoiding going to main attractions without him so as not to cause drama. At 16:00, after checking in
    via Pristine_Net_8050
  • 05
    he wanted a nap and we agreed to wake up at 20:00. I couldn't sleep from exhaustion, so 30 minutes before 20:00, I got up, prepared, and went to sit on a bench just 20 steps from the hostel to call my parents and smoke a ciga tte. At 19:45, I called him to make sure he was awake and didn't have his phone on silent. When he came down, the tension was obvious. Out of nowhere, he aggressively confronted me, saying: "What you've done is shameful. Leaving me in the room for the second time is complet
    via Pristine_Net_8050
  • 06
    repeating that my behavior was "shameful" and "not cool." I tried explaining that I was literally just outside smoking and talking to my family 15 minutes before our agreed time, but he made the atmosphere so toxic that we ended up walking in de d silence.
    via Pristine_Net_8050
  • 07
    Friends escalating a mountain as an activity for their trip. Model portrayal.
    via Febe Vanermen

    Friends escalating a mountain as an activity for their trip. 

    Model portrayal. 

  • 08
    Mirakzul NTA, they need to learn to time manage and set an alarm. Also when on holiday, who wants to sleep the day away when you should be out exploring and living life?
    via Mirakzul
  • 09
    Perfect Age777 NTA Is your friend out of his mind? For starters, the first time, the meeting was set for 8 AM and he was available at 10 AM... and he got mad at you for not being there, even though he was literally two hours late? When exactly does he plan to apologize for his lateness? Does he expect to be treated like a princess, with you desperately waiting around for "His Majesty" to become available?
    via Perfect Age777
  • 10
    And now he's just furious and taking off, even though you weren't even late? Your friend needs professional help. I think this trip was a wake-up call, OP―it likely marks the end of your relationship... Hang in there; I wouldn't stay with someone so toxic. He needs to get help.
    via Perfect Age777
  • 11
    midwest73 You're NTA for not sticking around and waiting for an overgrown a h le child. But you would be a YTA if you keep putting up with this BS because I guarantee this isn't the first time they pulled this on you or others. It's time to review the status of this friendship and if it really warrants anymore effort on your part.
    via midwest73
  • 12
    Fit-Grapefruit4460 NTA. You literally waited an hour in Madrid and were 20 steps from the hostel in Barcelona, and he still called you "shameful" for not sitting in the same room while he oversleeps. That's controlling, not considerate. Next trip, I'd either set clearer expectations or just not travel with him again.
    via Fit-Grapefruit4460
  • 13
    Ana987655321 Wait, what? Vacation in Madrid. Everyone is up at different times. You're up earlier and take a walk near the hotel. This is shameful? This is man baby embarrassing. How could you not sit quietly and honor his sleeping presence...from another room? NTA. Impotent rage at the beginning of a multi day international trip is over the top. The ridiculous entitlement of self proclaiming yourself the most important person on vacation. The ugly king of the vacation.
    via Ana987655321
  • 14
    SchoolBusDriver79 NTA. Your friend has control issues. He may not be the best person with whom to hang around. Sorry he kind of ruined your trip. When you go somewhere special you don't want to spend more time sleeping than sight seeing.
    via SchoolBusDriver79
  • 15
    Ok-Dealer4350 Don't travel with this friend again. He is annoyed because you are willing to do things while he is asleep. He must be grumpy when he gets up.
    via Ok-Dealer4350
  • 16
    Ih0376 NTA. Just because you're travelling together and sharing a hotel doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip 24/7. This is why I'd rather travel with my siblings than with my friends. I already know all their annoying habits. They already know mine. We grew up travelling together with our parents so we have an established rhythm and know how to schedule the vacation around everyone's likes and dislikes and how to compromise so we all have the best time. The few times I travelled with fr
    via Ih0376
  • 17
    with those people was not nearly as fun as hanging out together in our regular life. I almost ended a few friendships after some trips.
    via Ih0376

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

Invalid Argument friends trip erasmus
Scroll Down For The Next Article