Dad refuses to make the school lunches his 3, 5, 7, and 10-year-old kids requested while their mom was out of town on vacation: 'I am not making 4 separate gourmet lunches.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 24, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

Is the mom being too accommodating to her kids, or is the dad being lazy and uninvolved? 

When I was a kid, I got the same lunch basically every day. I got a sandwich, baby carrots, and an apple. As an adult, I continue to eat lunches that are minimalist and easy to make, not only because it's what I'm used to, but because it's easy and cheap! I don't have a lot of time in the morning to make myself custom meals, so I'm content with my PB&Js and salami sandwiches. 

I understand why some people want more than the most simple lunch imaginable. If you have the money, time, and drive to make a nice packed lunch, that's a lovely thing to do! Making yourself a nice salad is most definitely healthier than white bread and lunch meat. 

The dad in this story is frustrated because he doesn't understand why his wife is making such fancy meals for their kids. She went on vacation with her friends for a week, and he did not make the kinds of lunches that his kids wanted, which made her question his ability to care for them on his own. 

Advertisement
  • Kids eating their packed lunches in the school cafeteria.
    via CDC

    Kids eating their packed lunches in the school cafeteria. 

    Models pictured are not representative.

  • Am I the bad guy for not making the kids gourmet lunches while my wife was on vacation?

    My wife and I have 4 kids (10f, 7m, 5m, 3f). I work full time and my wife is mostly a stay at home mom. She works 12 hours a week.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • My wife has the older two write down what they want for lunch and has the younger two tell her what they want for lunch the night before. Everyone gets a main, 2 sides, a fruit, a vegetable, and a dessert.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • My wife went on a girls trip with some friends last week. She left Wednesday morning and came back on Saturday.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • Mom going on a girl's trip with her friends.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Mom going on a girl's trip with her friends. 

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.  

  • Wednesday night our 10 year old wants a chicken cesar wrap, strawberries with some Nutella, chips and guacamole, pita chips, sliced cucumbers, and a cookie. 7 year old wants a turkey sandwich with cheese, lettuce, and avocado, apple slices,
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • beef stick, tortilla chips, carrots and ranch, and a brownie. 5 year old wants hot dogs, grapes, bell peppers, graham crackers, goldfish and a cookie. 3. year old wants mac and cheese, blueberries, Cheerios, pouch, star shaped cucumbers, and a
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • muffin. I asked if their mom really makes all of this stuff and they insisted she does. I told them that while their mom is on vacation, I'm going to make one lunch for everyone and they can choose whether they eat it or not.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • A simple sandwich packed for lunch.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A simple sandwich packed for lunch. 

    Licensed media provided as editorial context.

  • This hardly sounds like a horrible lunch

    Thursday I make the kids a pb&j, applesauce pouch, goldfish, baby carrots, a granola bar, and one of those frosted sugar cookies. Friday everyone got ham and cheese, pretzels, grapes, more baby carrots, granola bar, and another frosted cookie.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505

  • Do you think the kids are being brats?

    The kids barely ate their lunches, preschool got upset about the grapes not being cut, and when my wife got back the first thing the kids did was complain about the lunches. I told her I packed perfectly fine lunches and the kids are just being spoiled.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • She saw the kids orders and told me those aren't hard to make and the kids should have meals that they like at school. Dinner or weekends are the time to try new foods or get everyone to try to eat the same thing. She hasn't said anything to the kids about it as far as I know,
    via u/Responsible-Bread505
  • but I offered to make lunch for today, the kids all said no, and my wife practically pushed me out of the kitchen. Now she's prepping lunches for tomorrow morning and I heard her talking to her friend about how she doesn't
    via u/Responsible-Bread505

  • It's not like he packed lunches that weren't enough food. He just didn't make 4 different lunches for 4 different kids.

    think she can leave me with the kids on school nights. All over a couple lunches. Now I want to know if I am the a for not making 4 separate gourmet lunches when my wife was on vacation.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505

  • A turkey sandwich is just as simple to prepare as a PB&J

    firefly232 ESH For you, not cutting the grapes. Do you know why the preschool was upset about that??? Also, if on Wednesday night 2 kids were asking for chicken/turkey, couldn't you have gone with one of those options instead of a far less healthy PB & J sandwich? Having said that, the idea of making 4 separate orders is a bit ridiculous for weekdays and I dont understand why your wife is doing that.
    via u/firefly232
  • subtleandunnatural I agree, OPs wife is ridiculous for catering to the demands of these children.. but also OP could've made a bit more of an effort to provide some of the healthy options instead of just slapping together some sandwiches.
    via u/subtleandunnatural
  • ghostwritercarole Mmmmm but OP said she isn't like this for meals at home. Just at school. It sounded like she is doing it for school meals to ensure her kids are fed during the school day. Yes... they sound incredibly privileged to have the funds and time to do this, however it also sounds so lovely how the mum is prioritising her kids needs at school.
    via u/ghostwritercarole

  • This is not a "you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit" household

    Responsible-Bread505 OP she has a breakfast menu the kids can choose from too, it's just easier things to make. They can have waffles (we have a waffle maker that makes 4 at a time), scrambled eggs, instant oatmeal, or fruit and yogurt.
    via u/Responsible-Bread505

  • Would you slice the cucumbers into a star shape?

    -spooky-fox- YTA. Are you serious? Gourmet lunches? None of what the kids asked for even requires cooking. It was literally making two very basic sandwiches and slicing, what, a cucumber, an apple, an avocado, and some grapes? If this is a normal order I expect your wife already buys these ingredients in kid-friendly options (eg precooked chicken, salad mix, prewashed baby carrots) and the most time consuming part of this prep is pulling out all the sauce cups/containers. (Strongly suspect she h
    via u/-spooky-fox-
  • I don't know what is more depressing, the commenters who seriously think it should have occurred to your wife to tell you how to feed your children or the ones who think letting kids choose what to eat is "spoiling" them. Children are, in fact, small people, and letting them plan their lunches seems like a good way to ensure they actually eat them and teach them healthy eating habits / instill a positive relationship with food. And I hope everyone who bristles at this takes a moment to consider
    via u/-spooky-fox-
  • (I do agree the older ones could be helping with actually fixing them, but given how how little OP seems to know about the entire process, I'm not going to fill in the gaps in his knowledge with negative assumptions about his wife, who apparently has been solo parenting for seven years while working 2.5 hours a day.)
    via u/-spooky-fox-
  • CompanyOther2608 Sounds like you barely bothered to phone it in. - Your wife may go a little overboard, but she's right — those things aren't hard to make. You should do better.
    via u/CompanyOther2608
  • NewNameAgainUhg YTA first of all, if your wife works 12h, she is not a SAHM, she is working part time Secondly, did you seriously never prepare your kids meals before????? You had enough time to spy your wife's conversation, but not enough to help her prepare the lunch?
    via u/NewNameAgainUhg
  • Big_Information2733 Do you know their birthdays?
    via u/Big_Information2733

  • What do you think? Are these kids spoiled? Is this dad incompetent? Is this mom a pushover? All of the above? None of the above?

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

school elementary school kids grapes bad parenting lunch bad parents sandwich dad little kids food mom vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article