Coworker invites themselves on colleague's 1-week vacation after work trip: 'I don't particularly like the co-worker and we are not friends outside of work'

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• Co-worker wants to come on holidays with me (and I don't want that)

  I am going on a work trip and since it's a place I wouldn't be able to visit otherwise, I am staying solo 1 extra week on holidays. A co-worker is also coming on the work trip (fine) and they hinted at wanting to tag along for the holiday part of the trip, asking me for my itinerary etc.

  -u/Odd_Respond_4227

• Going on a work trip with a coworker is a natural thing. Going on vacation with your coworker… not so much. You only get so much vacation time in your life, and you should use it wisely. You probably don't want anything that is going to remind you of work to follow you on your vacation. You don't want to answer work calls, emails, and correspondence… and you certainly don't want to be bothered by your coworkers. In person. This was a pretty ridiculous ask, but that didn't stop this person from asking away. Keep reading to see what continued to unfold. 

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• Now, I don't particularly like the co-worker and we are not friends outside of work. I am obviously fine with having them on the work trip but I don't see why I should spend my free time with them. Trips can be taxing even with close friends, let alone a co-worker that you don't particularly like! I know I would just end up hating my time there if they come with me - and what's the purpose of a holiday then? I think there should definitely be some workplace boundaries here.

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• When you're not friends with a coworker outside of work, that should probably define your relationship with them. You don't have to go out of your way to be their friend just because you feel like you should. Friendships aren't born out of obligation, they're born out of mutual desire. If there's no mutual desire, then there's not a great chance that you're going to hit it off. Vacationing with someone is a huge step, even if you're close friends. It's understandable that he wasn't quite comfortable doing that with his coworker. But how do you move forward? Commenters had some ideas.

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• On the other hand I need to keep good relations with them because we work together quite a bit - is there any polite way to decline their proposal to join me, in case they ask directly? Like saying that I prefer travelling solo or something (which is also sort of true)? So far I've been pretty vague about my plans so that she doesn't have any openings, so I am hoping she never asks, but who knows.

  Any advice welcome! 🙏🏻

  -u/Odd_Respond_4227

• javel1

  Oh I planned for a solo trip but I hope you enjoy your holiday!

• MountainRoll29

  "Don't take this the wrong way but I want to do a solo trip after the work portion of the trip. I like the freedom of it."

• aeraen

  You have an old friend living in the area and the two of you are looking forward to getting together to relive the old days.

• indy500anna

  I would just politely let them know that you have a solo trip planned and only have reservations/bookings made for 1 person. Or lie and say you have family/friends in the area and you will be busy with them.

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