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via Brooke Cagle
A barista wearing glasses and a beanie looks down at the beverage she is holding by a coffee machine. Not actual story subjects.
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A young barista was working a shift when a customer came in and started chatting with her colleague. He asked for her number, but she turned him down because she was engaged.
In response, the man decided to ask the barista for her number instead. She joked that she didn't want to come second, which the man accepted. However, her coworker thought she had been too harsh and would never be able to get into a relationship with this attitude. She didn't know if she should have let him take her on a date instead.
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Am I overreacting for not giving a guy my number after I was his second choice?
I’m 21f and I work at a small coffee shop. I’ve worked here for three years. I was working a shift today with my coworker/friend 25f (met through work, she trained me actually, and become friends.) We’ll call her L.
A man came in today, he looked around 25-27. L served him and I was next to her and the three of us engaged in conversation as she took his order and joked around for a minute or two. She made his coffee and when she went to hand it to him, he asked for her number. She smiled and waved her engagement ring and he smiled and accepted it. But then he turns to me as I was standing nearby cleaning something. He said something like “are you engaged too?” I was confused for a second and told him no I’m not. He asked if he could have my number. I jokingly said back “just because I’m single doesn’t mean I want to be your second choice so no thanks!” He sighed jokingly and then thanked us for his items and left.
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A barista with half her hair tied back heats up milk in a jug using a coffee machine. Picture does not depict real parties.
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As soon as he left L asked what was wrong with me and started going on about how my pride got in the way of getting a date and that’s why I’m single blah blah. I’ll fully admit that he was attractive and that there’s a good chance I would have given him my number if he had asked me first. But he didn’t and that’s fine! L is gorgeous, I don’t fault him. Call me cliche but if I were to ever date a customer it’d be because he saw me from across the room and had his sights set on me lol. She kept going on about how I need to lose my ego if I ever want a date.. I have zero issue getting dates. She said I probably embarrassed him and was r*de and that he probably wanted both our numbers equally. I was like no, he clearly wanted YOUR number and that’s why he approached you and asked you first!
But also, I’m in school and working two jobs. I really don’t need dates right now.
So AIO for not giving him my number?
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via Brooke Cagle
A barista wearing a beanie and glasses laughs while holding the portafilter for a coffee machine. Image shown for illustrative purposes; the person depicted is a model.
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You’re allowed to decline being someone’s immediate backup plan. NOR.
you’re allowed to not be into someone for any reason you want. nor.
No, why would you settle for someone who doesn't see you as a priority? He chose someone else and you were runner up to him, you would never be able to fully forget that and it would make the relationship hard. You deserve someone who wants you first and foremost.
Your coworker keeps talking about your “ego” being in the way, when really that’s called standards.
NOR- Your coworker is weird! Is there a reason she is so invested in you dating randos? From how you tell it, he was obviously joking... if he wasn't he doesn't see women as individuals. So strange your coworker can't see that.
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A close-up of a woman pouring frothed milk into her coffee. Representative only.
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