Mom of an 8-year-old girl lets her believe her friend who she calls uncle, is taking her to Disneyland for her birthday, then gets upset when the friend refuses to pay for the trip

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Sep 9, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

Children can be very sensitive, and they don't always understand the dynamics of the adults around them. It's the parents' responsibility to help them understand how social rules work. 

There's a young man in a friend group of people who don't have any children. The only ones who do are his sister, who has a boy and a girl, and a friend of theirs named Ashley, who only has a girl. All children are of similar age and call all of their mum's friends "uncle" and "aunt". This guy, Mike, is known by the kids as the 'fun uncle,' since he took his niece and nephew to Disneyland and Universal Parks for their birthdays. Ashley's daughter, Madison, asked him if she could go to Disneykand for her birthday, and since he was a little confused about the question, he answered that she should ask her mom. A few days later, he received texts from Ashley asking him about the trip and the organization, which confused him, since he had not offered to pay for any trip. Then he had an argument with Ashley. She claimed that he was always playing favourites with his niece and nephew and leaving Madison out of everything, and that he got her hopes up about a trip that was no longer going to happen. He answered that he never made such a promise; if anything, the one who had done it was her, and that the other two children are his real niece and nephew, but not her daughter. 

Here we have a simple case of miscommunication. The child was asking Uncle Mike to take her to Disneyland, but he didn't pick up on that. The mom assumed that he had offered after her daughter talked to her, but they never actually talked to each other to clear the air. It's not that children are liars, it's just that they are not skilled in picking up social clues and living amongst society, so what they interpret may not be accurate. An easier solution would have been for the mom to ask her to tell her exactly what Uncle Mike had said, or to go straight to Uncle Mike and ask him what he meant. Then, the girl wouldn't have been disappointed. Other than that, even though she thinks of him as an uncle, he is not, and he is not obligated to give out expensive gifts for children who are not really part of his family. The child doesn't understand that yet, but the mom should explain it to her and make clear what kind of relationship they have with Uncle Mike, instead of just complaining and demanding things from him. 

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  • AITH for not treating my friend's kid like my niece and nephew?

    I'm part of a friend group that also includes my sister. In the group my sister and our friend, Ashley, are the only ones with kids. My sister has two kids aged 7 and 10. Ashley has a
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  • daughter aged 8. Because we all hang out a lot the kids also hang out together a lot. Since the beginning the kids have called all of us either aunt or uncle.
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  • So Ashley's daughter, Madison, calls me Uncle Mike (not my actual name) just like my sister's kids who I am actually an uncle to. Same as how my friend Tommy is also called Uncle Tommy by all three kids even though he's not related to any of them.
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  • Anyway, back in July my gf and I took my niece and nephew to Universal studios for my niece's birthday. The weekend after that my friend had a bbq. At one point my niece and nephew were
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  • talking about going to universal studios. During that they also compared things from back when we took them to Disney for my nephew's birthday months before that.
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  • During this I am having a side conversation with another friend during this and were sitting on the other side of the yard, but sort of partially part of the universal/disney conversation
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  • because I got asked a couple questions. I am more focused on the side conversation though because it was some more important stuff going on with this friend.
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  • Then at one point Madison comes up to us and asked if she can go to Disney for her birthday. Like I said I was more focused on my friend at this point and confused at what she was asking and I was like "uh, I don't know. That's up to your mom." and she leaves.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10662473216
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    Disneyland castle.

    Still frame for contextual reference only.

  • She comes back a minute later and says her mom, Ashley, said she could go. I say something like "cool, and I hope you have fun, but me and my friend need to talk right now." and then she left and I thought that was the end of it.
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  • But apparently not because Madison thought I would be taking her and the way she worded asking her mom was if I could take her to Disneyland. So Ashley
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  • said yes because she assumed I would be paying since I paid for my niece and nephew to go to both parks, but they're like my actual niece and nephew So
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  • now that Madisons birthday is coming up Ashley texted me about details about what day we would be taking Madison and I'm like so confused.
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    Uncle Mike confused about the whole situation. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • Then we get to understanding the misunderstanding, but Ashley thinks I built up this expectation for Madison because she thought this whole time she was going to get to go. She thinks
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  • to Madison it's like I promised we would take her and now aren't, when from my perspective it's like she promised her daughter she would get to go to Disneyland.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10662473984
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Ashley's daughter, Madison, upset about not going to Disneyland. 

    Actor performance of story events.

  • Then it got weirder because it turned into this thing about how I'm always treating my sister's kids better than Madison all the time because I take them out and spend time with them,
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  • get them Christmas presents and go to their b day parties and say love you to them and give them hugs. Ashley says its confusing to Madison because to her I am just as much her uncle as theirs.
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  • get them Christmas presents and go to their b day parties and say love you to them and give them hugs. Ashley says its confusing to Madison because to her I am just as much her uncle as theirs.
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  • To me its kind of crazy because well again my niece and nephew are my actual niece and nephew and Madison isn't. Besides that its not like any of our other friends in the group treat Madison like they're niece either, but Ashley says
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  • that's different because they're at least treating all the kids the same. So the kids all see the other uncles like regular boring uncles that aren't that involved with any of them, but I'm like the fun one that's just leaving Madison out.
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