Dad refuses to buy a suit for his 13-year-old son for his wedding, blames his ex-wife: 'He looked like an afterthought at his own father’s wedding'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 13, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

If it's your wedding and your kid, it sounds like you're the one who is responsible. 

When you're in a blended family, things have a way of getting a little bit more complicated. Family is tough enough as it is, but when you start reshaping the structure of it, things can get even more complex. That doesn't mean that they can't be wonderful and worthwhile, but they have a way of being hard to navigate. When you're the child that's stuck between two divorced parents, then a lot can end up on your shoulders. You sometimes become the proxy for them to fight with each other and to negotiate their communication issues. They might not want to put you in the middle, but you're in the middle nonetheless. That's what was happening to the kid in the story whose dad was getting remarried. This can be a tumultuous time in a child's life, no matter what the circumstances are. You're having to navigate a lot of change on your parents' behalf, and you're finding your own way in the middle of it. The wedding itself is a chance to make everybody feel welcome, and to combine families in a way that feels good for everyone involved. 

Advertisement
  • A bride throws a bouquet at a big outdoor wedding
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    Featured likenesses do not identify those mentioned.

     A bride throws a bouquet at a big outdoor wedding

  • Am I in the wrong for not buying my son a suit to his dad's wedding?

    I have a child with my ex, who got married recently. About a month ago, our 13M child asked me if he could wear the suit I bought him for my wedding (a blue suit with matching pants) to his dad's wedding, because he's part of the entourage.
    via darcydidwhat
  • My reply: no problem, but you have to ask your dad if your suit would fit the color scheme for his wedding. A month passed, there was no update.
    via darcydidwhat
  • Until a week before the wedding, my son forwarded the wedding colors: beige, pink, green. So I told him, best not wear his blue suit as it wouldn't go well with the colors. We ended up with a longsleeved dark green polo and black slacks, because that was the closest he had at home.
    via darcydidwhat
  • I even brought him a day early to his dad's so they could buy an appropriate outfit as needed. He sent us photos of the wedding. I was devastated for my son, because he looked like an afterthought at his own father's wedding.
    via darcydidwhat
  • Everybody in the entourage wore suits and formal wear. EVEN THEIR DOG HAD A VEST AND BOWTIE. My son was the only member of the entourage wearing a different color, and who wasn't wearing formal attire.
    via darcydidwhat
  • My son is 13. He's very close to his dad even though I have him majority of the time. It wasn't a big deal to him, but it was a big deal to me. If this is how they treat him at the wedding, what happens when they have a child of their own?
    via darcydidwhat
  • I talked to my son about it, and somehow he's blaming me because I didn't buy him better clothes for the wedding, or brought him to his dad's way earlier so they could have a suit tailor-made for him like the rest of the entourage.
    via darcydidwhat
  • Thing is, nobody in his dad's family even thought to ask me about having him over for suit fittings or any of the sort. I have full custody of him, but I allow him to visit whenever they ask. This time, not a peep. Just sent the dress code and that was all.
    via darcydidwhat
  • My family's saying it's his dad's fault for not thinking of his son, while his dad's family is saying I should have provided a better outfit for him, since they sent me the dress code earlier and he's with me majority of the time.
    via darcydidwhat
  • A groom stands beside bride about to throw a bouquet with young boys in the background
    via Ricardo Moura

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


    A groom stands beside bride about to throw a bouquet with young boys in the background

  • That wasn't exactly what came to pass in this story, though. At least it wasn't in the perspective of the ex-wife. She was as supportive as she could've been, but wanted her ex-husband to do the same. Weddings are all about appearance. At least a lot of them are. And if you don't have the right outfit, it can signal that you're not a part of the family in the way that you should be. The son and the story needed a particular color of suit, which the groom (his dad) was apparently unwilling to give him. Instead of rectifying the situation and making his son feel as welcome as possible, he blamed this all on his ex-wife. She didn't think it was her responsibility since it wasn't her wedding after all. So she saw the opinions of folks on the Internet and was happy to give them to her. Keep reading to see what happened in the story, and let us know what you think in the comments. 

  • Commenters gave their opinions and takes on this story.

    AssociationHot2423 NTA, It's his dad's wedding. His dad pays for the outfit. He's just cheap and trying to put that on you. If he can afford a tailored suit for his dog, he can afford one for his kid.
    via darcydidwhat
  • MK_King69 NTA, in no world should this be your responsibility. You're an easy target to blame
    via darcydidwhat
  • Glum-Mulberry-9430 NTA. He's blaming you bc your ex blamed you. That simple. Im sure there was a conversation between them and you were at fault. He can be with you the majority of the time, but you
    via darcydidwhat
  • seem like the type who would happily take him to his dads so they could go. suit shopping. Dad dropped the ball bc his new wife is his priority and is able to blame you.
    via darcydidwhat
  • plz_dont_perceive_me NTA It's his dad's wedding, his dad should be arranging the clothing. Is this a common thing, for his father to fail a responsibility and the blame. to be put on you?
    via darcydidwhat
  • fck-rffld NTA sounds like your ex is sh talking about you to your son and he needs to grow the f up and be a responsible parent
    via darcydidwhat
  • enonymousCanadian They planned the wedding a year in advance and didn't think of him once? This was deliberate.
    via darcydidwhat

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

divorced stepmother wedding party wedding drama kids stepfather wedding stepdad suit raising kids divorced parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article