42-year-old pays $25k towards house he's due to inherit, homeowner mom protests when he refuses to continue contributing $200 a month: 'I'm drowning in my own debt'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 16, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Should a beneficiary be financially responsible for the property they are due to inherit?

Inheritance is often a tricky topic, and one that has a tendency to bring out the worst in people. It can cause rifts between family members when multiple relatives believe that they have a claim to the same thing or that one person doesn't deserve something that has been left to them. For something that is supposed to be a gift, it can get pretty ugly. There is just something about a big sum of money that makes some act unreasonably.

It is also possible for a potential inheritance to start causing issues before it is even eligible to be inherited. Those with the asset that they hope to pass on to their relatives can sometimes use it to manipulate them into doing what they want to do. When a person feels like something is owed to them, they may be more likely to go along with this behavior. However, it can only be taken so far before they reach their limit. When there is a literal or metaphorical price to pay for the prize, it might not end up being worth the weight or the sacrifice.

 

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  • An older woman smiles as she puts her arm through the metal gate in front of her front door.
    via Ramsés Cervantes (Unsplash+)

    An older woman smiles as she puts her arm through the metal gate in front of her front door. Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.
     

  • A man had given thousands of dollars to his mom to help pay off his childhood home, where she lived with his brother. He also continued to contribute to some of the household expenses and bills, although he wasn't currently living there. He felt like it was part of what he should do, as he was set to inherit the house with his brother.

    However, he was having second thoughts after his mom demanded that he continue to contribute hundreds of dollars monthly, as well as pay towards property taxes. He wasn't sure if he was wrong for saying that he couldn't do it.

  • Am I wrong for not fully contributing to my childhood home?

    My brother and I are in the will to inherit the house. I currently do not live there 42M but my brother does 50M with my mom 76F. I've given my mom $10k in 2020, I paid the remaining balance of the house off in 2021 ($15k) and I shared some settlement money I received with my brother and mother
    via wellnessplug
  • ($15k in total). I currently pay for the Internet and phone bill there and I also buy toiletries in bulk for the house, as well as food and groceries sometimes when I visit. My mother wants $200 a month from me, which I started to pay, but stopped because it became unaffordable for me with my rent and
    via wellnessplug
  • bills. She also said I need to put away money and contribute to the taxes at the end of the year ($5k) that's where I lost it and told her I have responsibilities and I'm drowning in my own debt currently.
    via wellnessplug

  • His finances couldn't cope any longer.

    My question is, despite my past contributions, which I'm fully aware isn't relativity a lot of money, am I the ahle for not wanting to pay the taxes on the house at the end of the year?
    via wellnessplug
  • I also paid my way through schooling, all with student loans
    via wellnessplug
  • An older woman smiles and crosses her arms while standing in front of her house.
    via Ramsés Cervantes (Unsplash+)

    An older woman smiles and crosses her arms while standing in front of her house. Models pictured are not representative.

  • He shouldn't be the only child contributing.

    Consideration Mean781 You don't live there. What is your brother's contribution?
    via ConsiderationMean781
  • stickbeat If your mom cannot afford the house independently, she needs to sell it and move into a condo.
    via stickbeat
  • limagineU Put together a balance sheet for each of you showing all contributions. Have a family meeting. Keep receipts & document everything.
    via IimagineU

  • It didn't make sense for him to pay that much money.

    bella bells 19 Why would you be paying $200 for a house you do not live in? They need to come up with a solution between the pair of them. Stop buying toiletries and food for grown a adults. NTA.
    via bella_bells19
  • Beach_bum8 Does your bother pay anything? It's crazy that she's asking you to pay for taxes, when you don't even live there.
    via Beach_bum8
  • Garry_Scary You're in the will to inherit the house meaning you don't own it now, so it's not your problem. NTA.
    via Garry_Scary

  • It was the homeowner's responsibility.

    tyuoplop Why are you paying anything on a house that isn't currently yours and that you don't use or live in? Typically home owners and residents pay for the costs associated with a home, not potential inheritors.
    via tyuoplop
  • If the answer is because you want to support your family, that's great. But, you shouldn't be offering any more support than you can manage and that support isn't an obligation, its a favour. I don't imagine they are sending you money for your housing expenses...
    via tyuoplop
  • notyourtoken I would not be doing that much. You are a better person than I. NTA
    via notoyourtoken
  • adult child86 So you're paying for your inheritance in other words. Do you get how dumb that sounds?
    via adult_child86

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money problems family drama property mom
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