53-year-old man constantly uses girlfriend's home to work from home, leaving her with no space: 'He’s on the phone a lot so I can’t make noise'

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Sep 17, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Would you allow your partner to work from your house all the time?

Nobody wants to be locked out of their lives. We all need space and time to be ourselves in our own home, no matter if we're in a relationship or not. You need your space. Especially if you're used to having it most of the time. The woman in this story was protective of her own space, which made sense for her. She was used to going it alone, and didn't want someone else swooping in and taking up all of your resources. Just because someone asked you to do something doesn't mean that you have to do it. You're allowed to set clear boundaries within your relationships and stick to them no matter what. Just because someone has entered your life in a romantic sense doesn't mean that they get full control over what you do and where you are. The woman in this story was tired of having her boyfriend constantly take over her space. When someone is working from home and has to be on the phone a lot, it can be hard to share the same space. You want to make sure you're not stepping on their toes or interrupting their time. But if you're in your own house, this can get old pretty quickly. You don't want to feel like you're walking on eggshells in your own home.

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via Getty Images For Unsplash+

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A man works from home on the couch
Relationships are about compromise, and you sometimes have to do things that you don't want to do for the people you love. But this has a ceiling to it. You don't want to have to give up everything just to be in a relationship with someone. You can maintain some of your own space and boundaries even though you're in a relationship. You can say that you want to spend some time apart and not have it be that big of a deal. You can tell your partner “no” and still want to be with them. That's easier said than done sometimes, though. Keep reading to see what happened here.
Am I in the wrong? He uses my place to work from ‘home’ so I can’t use my house
My (45F) boyfriend (53M) stays with me Fri, Sat and Sunday nights - he’s supposed to be an on the road sales manager but he camps out in my dining room Mon morning 8am-1pm and often Tuesday mornings too if he stays Monday night as well to work from home and do reports and quotes but I feel like I can’t use my home for watching TV, making food in the kitchen or just relaxing as he’s sat right in the middle of the house! He’s on the phone a lot so I can’t make noise. The lounge, kitchen and dining areas are all open plan. Small trailer home, btw.
-uTheLemonChiffonPie
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via engin akyurt

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A fed up woman crosses her arms
My choices are either to sit out on the decking (which in Uk has limited usage due to weather) or watch TV in bed so I don’t disturb him. This is my house and I pay a lot out of my limited funds for it. Would it be wrong to ask him to use the decking or the bedroom so I can use my house? I don’t sleep well (I’m medically retired with MS) so I’ve usually been awake for a few hours but don’t actually get out of bed until he does as I’m trying not to disturb his sleep. I just wanna chill and watch a morning film and eat my breakfast in peace when he gets up at 8am and I can finally get up.
The reason I’m asking is that he does a lot of maintenance on my house and my car, we have a good relationship otherwise but he can be very myopic when it comes to the consequences to others of his decisions/actions - would I be be the AH for asking or should I be more sympathetic?
Edit: he doesn’t know he’s being a nuisance….
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Awkward_Profile_7410
NTA he needs to find a different place to work. You can’t be a prisoner in your own home.
ponpiriri
Sympathetic for what? Is he homeless?
"he can be very myopic when it comes to the consequences to others of his decisions/actions"
How good is this relationship and does that explain why you're so hesitant to assert yourself around him?
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via Niklas Hamann

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A stressed woman puts her face in her hands
Fit_General7058
He needs to go home after the weekend.
You need to alternate a weekend at yours a weekend at his.
He's living with and using utilities and paying nothing. He's also cramping your freedom in your home
Nervous_Revenue_9331
Tell him if he needs to work midweek he has to use the bedroom as you arent a prisoner in your own house?
NTA
laurcore2
If he's a good bf but just a bit ignorant of his impact then tell him how you feel and why you are asking for him to work in another room. He probably hasn't realized how much you've been tiptoeing around to avoid disturbing his sleep and work. He should be accommodating of your needs too. I'm sure there's a livable compromise for you both. But never expressing it and growing resentment won't help your relationship at all.