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AITA for backing out of a camping trip with my friends causing their cost to go up after they decided to bring their girlfriends along with them?
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Guy contemplating near a cabin in the woods
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Me(24M) and my friends really enjoy the outdoors and for the labor day weekend we have been planning on renting a cabin out in a camping area for a guys trip. I say guys trip because when we originally, we planned on it just being us. All my friends have girlfriends, I do not, and very frequently, events or trips or hangouts end up including the girlfriends.
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I have no issues with them as people, it's just very frustrating to plan to have a good time with my friends, then ending up as the spare wheel because they all decide to bring their girlfriends along. I have made it known that I don't like it, but it's 3 to one and they always promise that the next time it'll be just us guys. Also because they have different interests, they decide to change the entire purpose of the trip to accommodate them and it's less fun
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So shocker two weeks ago, the camping trip changed from just us enjoying a weekend of hiking, fishing, hunting and being friends together, into a couples trip. This caused three very big changes.
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Lonely guy outside a camping area cabin
Representative only.
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First, we decided on room arrangements ahead of time, there were 3 rooms and we decided whoever took the couch would pay a reduced share of the trip. Someone volunteered and it was fine, no issues. Now that he was bringing his girlfriend along, they wouldn't both be able to be on the couch so now I was sleeping on the couch. This pi3$ed me off, but I was fine.
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Second, very limited drinking allowed because one of my friends girlfriends thinks he drinks too much and he promised her he wouldn't drink much. So now we actually had to adhere to that so we decided on only a case of beer for the entire trip. This I could also be fine with.
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Lastly, and what set me over the edge was that we were now going to do more of the campsites more touristy stuff because the women don't like hunting or fishing, so those things were nixed. This kinda defeated the whole purpose of the trip for me. Why am I going to a campsite so I can have some park ranger teach me how to make bracelets or go on a guided nature walk. I just wasn't a fan. So wednesday, 2 days before, I told them I was out.
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I feel kinda bad, and they are my friends and I did want to see them, I just have no desire to hang out with their girlfriends and it's so frustrating they can't take 3 days away from them. So, AITA?
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Edit: To clarify a typo, it didn't increase 200$ each. It was 200 dollars total split between them. I was really high when I made this post
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via DedthaTopik
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A guys' trip has its own lane, built around shared history and activities that make sense only to people who have been there since the beginning. Add partners into that mix and the whole vibe shifts, and the plan changes to include fewer rough edges, more compromise, and activities designed for people who didn’t sign up for mud, bugs, and cooking methods that would get a restaurant shut down, AKA, camping.
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via DedthaTopik
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Some experiences depend entirely on who shows up, and a camping trip with the original crew is one thing. The same trip with a different social configuration becomes something else entirely, like bringing a boombox to a library reading hour and acting surprised when people stare.
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via DedthaTopik
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via DedthaTopik
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via DedthaTopik
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via DedthaTopik
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Yes, backing out looks bad: it makes costs rise, the plans scramble even more, and friends get annoyed. But staying on a trip that no longer matches what you signed up for also has a cost, and sometimes that cost is spending an entire weekend feeling like a guest in your own friend group.
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