Boyfriend proudly admits to stealing groceries from his girlfriend's parent's pantry, calls it a 'financial hack' that reduces their grocery budget to $0: 'He says it’s not stealing because my parents are rich.'

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How do I tell my boyfriend that his "financial hack" is actually just stealing from my parents?

i'm kind of losing my mind right now because i feel like i'm living in a twilight zone. my boyfriend and i have been together for two years. he's great in a lot of ways, but he's obsessed with "financial optimization". i always thought it was just a quirk, but things took a weird turn a few months ago. my parents are
incredibly generous. they let us come over every Sunday for dinner, and my mom always packs us massive containers of leftovers, groceries, and toilet paper/paper towels because she knows we're trying to save for a house. well, last week i noticed our pantry was completely overflowing with
via u/Ok-Reliefs
high-end coffee, expensive olive oils, and random niche snacks. i asked him if he went on a shopping spree, and he got super proud and told me he "optimized our grocery budget to $0."turns out, every Sunday when i'm in the living room talking to my dad, he goes to the bathroom, slips into my
via u/Ok-Reliefs
parents' walk-in pantry, and casually takes stuff to put in his backpack. not just leftovers my mom gave us, he's literally shopping in their house. when i got mad, he got super defensive. he says it's not stealing because my parents are rich, they "offered to help us," and the food would "eventually
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be eaten by us anyway so what's the difference?" he genuinely views this as a smart life hack and thinks i'm being dramatic and ungrateful for his effort to save us money. how do i make him see how insane this is without making him completely shut down? or is this a massive red flag i shouldn't ignore?
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Mikasa Ackerman0977 Massive red flag. He's literally stealing from your parents and trying to make you think that there's nothing wrong with that. Stealing from random people is crazy, but stealing stuff from your parents? Yh you need to leave. He has no respect for you or your parents
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metalcoreisntdead It would be different if he had specifically asked her parents but he just decided that her parents “didn't need something" and took it behind their backs. That is a massive red flag
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wrenabelleebby Being generous doesn't mean your parents gave him unlimited access to their pantry.
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metalcoreisntdead 100%. He has no self awareness, either... if groceries are 100% being paid for by the parents, then that's not a "financial hack". He needs to find promotion hacks, like how to get a raise or he'll soon become promoted to ex boyfriend
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erabera Yeah, this is insane. I used to do that but I would tell my parents I was stealing their canned peaches or whatever it was I was taking. It was a joke between us. I never just took anything without letting them know. You need to be very wary. He feels no issues with stealing from your parents because he thinks they are rich. He may also look at you with long term plans on how to spend your inheritance. It has a grimy feel to it for sure.
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Appropriate-Ant3257 ? That's like saying "My new financial optimization method is I ring up rich old people, convince them their money in under threat and help them move it into my account" - it's theft. What do you think your parents would say?
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croaking_gourami That's incredibly ride of him, there's a big difference between tour parents offering to help out with a few things, and your partner going on a "shopping" spree in their pantry. Thar pushing the limit too far.
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specialagentpizza And if he had to wait until someone was in the bathroom to do it, he knows it's wrong
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goat-tickler That's just straight up theft Your boyfriend is a hobo, suggest going to his parents house to rob from them next time.
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get_to_ele His entitled attitude towards your parents' stuff is a massive red flag. If he steals from your parents, he's a sh bag who will steal in any scenario where the risk is low. Deal breaking red flag for me. The fact that youre even worried he will "completely shut down" is itself a huge red flag. You're already tiptoeing around his character flaws and immaturity.
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pristine_vida And your parents know he's stealing from them and are too nice to bring it up, dump him, he's a thief and a value system like that is way worse than a red flag.
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Senior couple preparing food in the kitchen
SarcasticAnd Exactly this. He's likely been stealing from them for a long time. You don't go from taking home leftovers to taking the whole pantry without some "test runs" before hand. He's been working up to his big shopping spree for sure and since no one has said anything about his smaller thefts, he thinks they're fine with it.
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DanceWonderful 3711 His next "money saving hack" will be making you pay for the house but having his name on the deed.
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