25+ of the Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (September 22, 2026)

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  • 01
    • meghan ❤ @deloisivete Sep 20 *Driving past a Sports Clips* 8yo: Dad took me there once. *heavy sigh* They kept trying to talk to me about sports
  • 02
    Jason, ex Infe... @benedicts... Sep 19 Mom used to open a drink in the store before she paid for it and I thought child services was about to take me
    via deloisivete
  • 03
    • Dad in Cha... @DadinCha... Sep 18 ... dadinchas just a 43 yo teenage dirt bag with stupid adult responsibilleries.
    via deloisivete
  • 04
    krista @kristabellerina - Sep 18 Sometimes you have a reason to cry and sometimes it's perimenopause.
    via deloisivete
  • 05
    DaddyJew @DaddyJew Sep 17 . 0 ... [ first day as a babysitter ] i lost yours so i grabbed you another one from the park
    via deloisivete
  • 06
    redyellowgreenda... @RYG... Sep 16 ☑... "When are you gonna let me grow up already?" - My son, riding his scooter into oncoming traffic, who won't let me leave his room until he's asleep
    via deloisivete
  • 07
    meghan @deloisivete Sep 19 • My kids started sports for the first time today, which I guess makes me a soccer mom. Does the Live Laugh Love sign just appear in my kitchen now or what
    via deloisivete
  • 08
    dadinchaos • Dad in Cha... @DadinCha... Sep 15 Ø my 17 yo offered to make dinner tonight. He made waffles, sausage and eggs. now I just have to figure out what he did or didn't do. ...
    via deloisivete
  • 09
    meghan @deloisivete · Sep 15 • ... Let me know if you guys are missing any mugs, they're all in my kid's bedroom ◇ 10 17 14 167 Ilil 2.4K ↑ meghan @deloisivete · Sep 15 • Spoons, too
    via deloisivete
  • 10
    meghan No one: @deloisivete. Sep 13 ... My 8yo: they should be an airbag in the trunk in case you get kidnapped and they throw you in there Me: ○ 2 272 38 ılı 791 企 meghan @deloisivete. Sep 13 ... You know, safety first
    via deloisivete
  • 11
    Hollie Harris @allholls · Sep 15 • Helping my 4th grader with math has me questioning how I ever graduated from elementary school.
    via deloisivete
  • 12
    dadinchaos Dad in Cha... @DadinCha... Sep 15 ☑ I told my teenager we had to leave at 11:30. He gets in the shower at 11:21. I hate it here
    via deloisivete
  • 13
    meghan @deloisivete Sep 14 · Teacher: we need empty Amazon boxes for a project Me: I've been preparing for this my whole life ...
    via deloisivete
  • 14
    Hollie Harris @allholls - Sep 14 0 You can lead a kid to an activity they begged to join, but you can't make them participate.
    via deloisivete
  • 15
    • meghan @deloisivete Sep 13 My kid asked me to help him clean his room so I'm going to sigh heavily and take a break every 2 minutes so he gets the full experience
    via deloisivete
  • 16
    ... sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy - Sep 11 0 The audacity of my husband asking if I ate the last cookie while sitting there with chocolate on his lip. First of all, wipe your face. Second, that's my move.
    via deloisivete
  • 17
    • meghan @deloisivete Sep 18 ... If you blast opera music, your family will leave you alone in the kitchen. Follow me for more life hacks
    via deloisivete
  • 18
    meghan @deloisivete Sep 20 Me: *driving at night, trying to find my turn in the dark* My 10yo: how many centimeters are in a light year
    via deloisivete
  • 19
    **Wonderstru... @metic... Sep 10 ☑ ... My favorite childhood myth was thinking adults could do whatever they wanted, when in reality we just stand in the kitchen at 9 PM deciding if we're actually hungry or just bored.
    via deloisivete
  • 20
    The Real Rodn... @RealR... Sep 10 Ø All summer long: Kids are healthy. 5 minutes into first day of school: Everyone has Ebola
    via deloisivete
  • 21
    krista @kristabellerina · Sep 7 • 0 Parents, naming their dog: Spot. Parents, naming their kid: Jaxbrayleetyn
    via deloisivete
  • 22
    meghan @deloisivete · Sep 7 Just realized I forgot to empty out my kid's lunchbox over the long weekend, but it's okay because he just remembered he left it at school, so I guess that's tomorrow's problem now
    via deloisivete
  • 23
    • meghan @deloisivete Sep 18 What is the HOA going to do about the noisy kids who keep coming in my house and demanding snacks and calling me mom
    via deloisivete
  • 24
    Damon Hun... @DamonHu... Sep 5 Ø • ☑ ... I never know what to say to kids. I usually start out with a simple question about their lives, like "Why you gotta be so sticky?"
    via deloisivete
  • 25
    日 dadinchaos Dad in Cha... @DadinCha... Sep 4 • ☑ in my teens my enemy was the guy that liked the same girl I liked. In my 40s it's eating past 7 pm because I'll get acid reflux or heart burn.
    via deloisivete
  • 26
    Hollie Harris @allholls • Sep 4 0 As a kid, I never understood why older people hated change and complained about everything. ... I get it now.
    via deloisivete

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