19-year-old stays home every day for babysitting and online school, mom always demands she gets changed out of pajamas: 'She says it's healthy'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 22, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Should home have a dress code?

As a long-term remote worker, I am acutely aware of how easy it is to limit your wardrobe when you spend every day in the house. When you don't have anywhere more demanding to be than maybe a lunch break trip to the grocery store, it becomes a habit to reach for the comfiest and least flattering clothes throughout the week.

It makes sense that no matter what you happen to be doing at home, you want to be comfortable when you're there. However, I also have to say that on the occasions when I dress a little smarter, I feel obliged to be productive and find more reasons to get out of the house. It is a mentality thing.

I am grateful to not have been raised in a wear your jeans in the house kind of household, but it is good to remember that our clothes have a function beyond how aesthetically pleasing or not they are. Not to be too much of a boomer about it, but sometimes looking presentable is important. Putting effort into our appearance can help us extend our effort into other areas of life.

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  • A young woman wearing white cotton pajamas sits cross-legged on a bed, adjusting her hair.
    via Victoria Aleksandrova

    A young woman wearing white cotton pajamas sits cross-legged on a bed, adjusting her hair. Picture does not depict real parties.
     

  • A 19-year-old felt like she was busy at home, with online college classes and babysitting her younger sister to contend with. She preferred to be comfortable and wear pajamas in the house, but her mom kept fighting with her about wearing smarter clothes during the day.

    She felt like this was hypocritical, as her stepdad also wore his comfiest clothes around the house and while taking online classes. Nonetheless, her mom insisted she get dressed. She didn't feel it was the most practical option, nor her preferred one.

  • Mom making me get dressed everyday

    I (19F) am I full time online college student who has in-person once a week. I watch my baby sister everyday for multiple hours while my step-dad does school as well. I wear pajamas and my step-dad wears sweats and t-shirts.
    via Affectionate_Arm9813
  • My mom has implemented a rule where I have to get dressed everyday. She says it's healthy, and as long as I get dressed in the morning she doesn't care if I immediately get changed back into pajamas. I have complied but now she wants to change the rules so that I must stay dressed all day.
    via Affectionate_Arm9813
  • My arguments are that that was not the original rule, my step-dad wears comfy clothes, I'm an adult, and that the exercise I do throughout the day ruins my jeans.
    via Affectionate_Arm9813

  • The tensions between them were rising.

    We've been getting into tiffs due to this. I don't leave the house often, and don't see a reason to both ruin my clothes and be uncomfortable when I'm at home doing what I'm supposed to be doing. She says it's a good habit and healthy. While I don't disagree, I don't think it's that big of a deal. When I wear sweats and t-shirts like my step-dad, she gets onto me for not wearing a bra, saying that I wouldn't wear those clothes out but he would.
    via Affectionate_Arm9813
  • Should I just start getting dressed everyday? Is it worth the fight? Am I overreacting to this rule, and her subsequent changing of the initial rule?
    via Affectionate_Arm9813
  • Small edit: I see a lot of concern for me wearing the same clothes from the night before. I don't do this. I change my pajamas every morning and I don't tend to sleep in them. I gravitate towards pajamas because they are looser and more comfortable when I go bra-less as tight/regular shirts look obscene.
    via Affectionate_Arm9813
  • A young woman puts her hands behind her as she sits on a bed, wearing white cotton pajamas.
    via Victoria Aleksandrova

    A young woman puts her hands behind her as she sits on a bed, wearing white cotton pajamas. Models pictured are not representative.
     

  • Perhaps she needed an escape.

    Proper-Effective8621 Is there a cafe nearby where you can go to attend your online classes? Getting out of the house is likely your best option for your mental health.
    via Proper-Effective8621
  • Winefluent I feel like changing out of pajamas doesn't mean changing out into streetwear. You could just go with homewear/athleisure of some sort that you haven't slept in.
    via Winefluent
  • If You StayPetty Can I say that the actual issue is that you don't leave the house very often?
    via IfYouStayPetty

  • Maybe her mom just wanted the best for her.

    Mooseda Muffin NOR but this is not the hill to di on. Yes, it is controlling behavior, but it may be coming from a place of concern. She may be concerned that you are in a funk because you don't go out that often, and that you are home taking care of a sibling all day.
    via MoosedaMuffin
  • AnthonyRespice The rule is only a symptom of a larger problem you should address. The rule is in place because she's worried about you. Address this. She is saying you have bad habits. Do you have good hygiene? Are you taking care of yourself physically? Are you using your free time
    via AnthonyRespice
  • productively or are you sitting on the couch scrolling your phone? Are you helping around the house?
    via AnthonyRespice

  • It was possible to bridge the gap.

    lasuperhumana Get loungewear that's appropriate to wear in public. Most of my comfy clothes don't look like pajamas but feel just as good. Sometimes I'll even throw on a necklace or earrings and it's like, simple comfortable classic. lol. Prove to your mom that comfy can be chic!
    via lasuperhumana
  • HabitualEnthusiast Nor maybe you can work out a compromise. I'm in my 30s and I don't put on jeans every day lol. I get up and shower and put on like yoga pants and a t shirt, I'm a stay at home mom.
    via HabitualEnthusiast
  • Having routines is important, however if you're already getting up, showering, putting on clean clothes, exercising, doing school, you already sound like you've got a good routine and healthy habits. However, if this is the hill your mom wants to di on you might have to roll with it.
    via HabitualEnthusiast

  • Perhaps there was money to be made.

    GardenHobbit Tell her if you get dressed and stay dressed every day she has to pay you for childcare. She lets you wear your comfy clothes, it remains free. Ball is in her court.
    via GardenHobbit

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family drama teenager mom college student
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