Roommate loses it on roommate who uses soap to clean a nonstick pan: 'Tell me if I’m the crazy person here'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Do you use soap on a nonstick pan?

Roommate disputes can be annoying to get over. You live with this person, so you have a lot of incentive to try and not mess it up. You have to be okay with each other, or at the very least tolerate each other, or else you might end up in a very sticky situation. Roommates are best treated with respect and kindness when you can. It's pointless to get in fights over the small stuff, but the small stuff has a way of adding up. The little things you do as a person and a roommate might make it hard to get along. That's what happened in this story, where a pair of roommates had a disagreement about something strange.

Everyone has a different way of managing their kitchen, and a different way of treating their items. Some people put soy sauce in the fridge while others leave it at room temperature. You might not even know the other kind of person exists until you live with a roommate. It's all about compromise, and you have to make sacrifices, or else you might end up out on the street. But there are things that we can all agree on, hopefully. We all have boundaries around certain stuff, and if you're a certain kind of person, you might take these boundaries pretty seriously. 

Advertisement
  • A man washes a pan in the sink
    via Sandra Seitamaa For Unsplash+

    Representative only.


    A man washes a pan in the sink

  • Am I in the wrong for using soap on a nonstick pan??

    I've been sitting on this for a while and I'm just confused. I (25) lived with two people (22 and 20) and always do dishes when no one's home because I tend to get water and suds everywhere and like to have that no stress clean up time.
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • My ex walked in on me one time cleaning the pans. One of the nonstick pans had been chipping for a minute, but it's one I never used. I only used the pot, never a pan. They burnt meat on it a ton. The second she saw I was cleaning with soap she lost it on me?? Like blamed me for the pans being messed up and said they needed to buy a whole new set because I washed them???
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • She then tells our other roommate, who, instead of being confused like me, also blamed me. It's not a "well seasoned" type thing either. Plain nonstick pans. I've always washed my pans with dish soap, you know, so there's not leftover grossness on it...
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • But please, Reddit, tell me if I'm the crazy person here.
    via napoleonsProstitute

  • Commenters offered some possible explanations.

    OfficialBroccoli Rob NTA. They needed a new pan because the coating was already chipping. They just conveniently discovered someone else to invoice for it.
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • Dishes sit in a drying rack on a counter in a kitchen
    via Igor Rand

    Dishes sit in a drying rack on a counter in a kitchen

  • The pair of roommates in this story were in an interesting spot where it seemed like one of them needed a reason to pick a fight. They were going out of their way to make things uncomfortable when they didn't need to. Their roommate was behaving normally, but suddenly they found out that it was the worst thing to do in the world, apparently. We all need to respect each other and put away our claws until it's the important stuff. Nobody wants to quibble about silly stuff. We all have more important fish to fry. But scroll on to read about this argument and let us know what you think in the comments.

  • Mybunsareonfire Ew, who doesn't wash their non-sticks with soap? It's not cast iron. NTA
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • Objective_Attempt_14 no they are trying to scam you. soap does nothing but take of the filth and burnt on bits...
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • nemophilist_nymph NTA unless we're both completely clueless about washing nonstick with soap, i've never heard of it being harmful?
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • the_orig_princess It's not the soap it's the kind of sponge. Nonstick has to be cleaned with a soft, non abrasive sponge because the top layer is basically that leeches when torn, even micro tears. Basically no one should be using nonstick but it is e ve ry where so most people still do.
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • ALoungerAtTheClubs NTA. That's literally how you're supposed to clean them. If it's chipping, it belongs in the trash. You don't want to eat that coating.
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • TalkToHoro You're supposed to use the dewy tears of vestal virgins, you monster! NTA Of course! You use dish soap. Like the kind gentle enough to be used on BABY DUCKS!
    via napoleonsProstitute
  • My suggestion is to see if you can find that brand's use and care instructions. online and use that as your evidence. PS: what you're NOT supposed to do with nonstick pans is heat them so they're hot enough to burn food in them. That weakens and ruins the coating. And also releases bad chemicals).
    via napoleonsProstitute

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

bad roommates kitchens soap psycho roommate kitchen roommates
Scroll Down For The Next Article