21-year-old granddaughter confronts 74-year-old grandfather after finding out he applied for jobs in her name: ‘I have no clue what information he gave these companies’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 25, 2026 2:00 PM EDT

When should you say 'no' to someone who is offering you help?

Growing up, you see how adults manage their lives, and you can't help but think, "I can do it better". People might tell you that getting a job is hard, or that buying a house is almost impossible, but some hopeful part of you tells you that you will somehow crack the code and succeed in life without batting an eye. Adulting is easy if you simply set your mind to it.

Well, we all know now how stupid we were as kids.

Adulting is not easy, getting a job is an exhausting task, and buying a house or starting a family might still feel like light-years away from you. And once you come to terms with the fact that the adults in your life were right when they told you that life is hard, you might also turn to them for help navigating this crazy world.

But even though they were right, it doesn't mean that you should always rely on them for help. While their years of experience in adulthood might help a young adult get a head start, it can also set them back. Confusing, we know, but that is just another part of life. Learning from your elders and relying on them to solve your problems are two different things, and it's up to you to find out where that line is crossed. If you don't, you might end up like the young adult who shared the story below.

This 21-year-old knows that her grandfather tends to meddle a bit too much in his family's lives, so she is always careful with what she asks of him. However, when he offered to help find her a job when she graduated from college, she thought the extra set of eyes on job postings couldn't hurt, and agreed to have him help. It was only when she started getting emails from companies she never applied to that she realized that her grandfather was sending her resume without her permission. He took the job search too far, and now she has to find a way to make him stop…

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  • 01
    Old man using a computer.
    via Sweet Life

    Old man using a computer.

    Models for explanatory purposes only.  

  • 02

    AITA for asking my grandpa to not apply for jobs using my resume without my knowledge?

    my (f21) grandpa (m74- mom's side of the family), over the past 3 decades has been spoon feeding his children in every possible way. their education, job, marriage... literally everything. he has applied for
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 03
    jobs on behalf of them and tbh they are in a good place in life now. i on the other hand have been raised by my dad specifically to do my own stuff.
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 04
    since graduation is approaching, I've been applying to full time roles that fit my aspirations and are catered towards fresh grads with no real work experience. my
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 05
    mom (f52), wanting to help me asked if she can ask grandpa to help. I told her "sure he can send me listings to apply for whatever he could find"
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 06
    not sure what she told him but today I've been getting emails from random companies, which I initially thought was a scam, but addressing different names in some cases (they were my
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 07
    mom's/grandpa's) turns out my mom has sent my resume to grandpa and he has been applying to jobs using it without my knowledge. these roles are not in the field that I'm aiming.
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 08
    for and frankly not in the "fresh grad" category either. i was admittedly livid when I figured this out because I'm just very uncomfortable with someone else using MY resume and applying for jobs.
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 09
    Printed resume.
    via vicky_81

    Printed resume.

    Still frame for contextual reference only.

  • 10
    information like this is processed and sometimes stored by the companies for future reference. I'm uncomfortable with this cuz now I have no clue what
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 11
    information he gave these companies when he applied (which by the looks of the names being wrong in some... i am concerned). fyi he doesn't have access to any of my transcripts
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 12
    and things like that. so I'm not sure what he has even given these companies. I told him and my mom to just stop and not apply any more and to send me
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 13
    the list of everything thats been applied (cuz turns out he also used his OWN email for some of it so I have not even gotten any notification for this). i explained to both of them that this worked
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 14
    for their family unit back then because my mom and her siblings didn't apply on their own to anything. so there was by default only one source of truth in a way for these job portal
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 15
    accounts and resumes. BUT NOW I've already been applying to things. someone else doing that with my resume without my knowledge just makes things messier and harder to track.
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 16
    grandpa sounded pretty upset but agreed to stop applying. mom later said it's my fault for not applying to jobs on a specific website that she sent me earlier during the month. i told her back
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 17
    then I didn't have an account but I'll create one and do it. I had applied to this position literally the next day btw but she never asked me abt it (which is normal she never does so I obviously didn't tell her)
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 18
    I snapped back saying this is just causing confusion and anxiety to me and that there might even be duplicate accounts in a company portal with the SAME resume but different (wrong) names and
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 19
    that's just so messy and that I don't even know how to deal with it. for this she basically called me ungrateful and arrogant. so AITA?
    via Ri_lee_7
  • 20
    HotJuic Nta. Isn't what your grandpa is doing like a illegal and your mom is super insensitive for calling you ungrateful I'm glad you've set firm boundaries
    via HotJuic
  • 21
    stevesansboat That's a totally weird thing for your mom and grandad to do. NTA
    via stevesansboat

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job mother work job searching Grandpa family job search daughter college
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