Sister asks for a list of possible gifts to give the family, only to end up receiving the weirdest presents, the family doesn’t understand why: ‘Wrapping us mainly used things that will end up going into the trash’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 28, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Give me a list of possible gifts so I can just ignore it and give you something not remotely close to what you want. 

What would you do if your sister was asking for you to provide a list of gifts that you would like for yourself and your child, you madde it, and then she gave you something that has nothing to do with what the list said? What if that happens every time there is a gift-giving celebration? And what if what you were receiving was things like almost empty bottles of shampoo or a paper saying something about going to the cinema but ended up not being true? I like this story because it makes no sense at all to me. That's why I really want somebody else's opinions on this. Is it just craziness? Jealousy? A prank? Please tell me. I'm completely lost in this one. The worst part of it all is that this sister has more money than the family member, so why do all this? You can afford a proper present, you ask for a list, and then give out half a bottle of hair products? That's completely insane. I can't understand why someone would do something like that. 

Some people say this is a trait of narcissistic behavior or jealousy. But it doesn't cut it for me. I really do not understand why a sister would do something like this. I know that the mother says it was jealousy, but about what? Not having kids of their own? And why ask for the list at all? To pretend that they are going to get that and disappoint them? I'm pretty sure that these people aren't expecting anything from their sister. I'm sure they are hysr deeply worried about her and her behavior. One of the advisors said to give her a paper saying "free therapy session", and I have never agreed more. Do that! This sister definitely needs some help because this isn't some normal behavior. It's just insane and weird. No one acts like this, and they shouldn't be pretending like this is fine, because it's not. 

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  • 01
    My sister has a strange habit when it comes to giving gifts to my son and myself. She will Ask a couple of months in advance for a list. We will send it to her. This is the type of gifts we've ended up with: A note saying Two cinema tickets Almost empty bottles of shampoo and body cream A gift card but there's no funds on the card A note saying a lunch or dinner your choice
    via tenouttatwo
  • 02
    The sister giving an unexpected gift. Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.
    via Kira auf der Heide

    The sister giving an unexpected gift.

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events. 

  • 03
    Apart from that I've gotten an opened nail kit with most of the kit missing. Clothes that wasn't for me and not my size And other different things None of what was on the list. I can buy our own things. She's doing better financially than me. I see what she's able to buy for other people. It's not about the gifts or the money. It's the asking for a list. Then ignoring it.
    via tenouttatwo
  • 04
    Then wrapping us mainly used things that will end up going into the trash, and giving us notes on events that never happens. She's not easy to talk to if there's an issue, she's easily offended and turns things around. We buy her presents off her list. What would you do? AITAH for even wanting to bring this up or should I leave it alone? She's been doing this for years
    via tenouttatwo
  • 05
    since my son was little. My mom tells me she's jealous.
    via tenouttatwo
  • 06
    A gift wrapped in white paper with a red ribbon.
    via Ksenia Yakovleva

    A gift wrapped in white paper with a red ribbon.

  • 07
    jleahul NTA. Save her gifts to you and regift them to her.
    via jleahul
  • 08
    Impressive Moment786 NTA-she isn't giving you gifts, she is giving you garbage she doesn't want in her own house. Stop buying her gifts and tell her to stop giving you gifts.
    via Impressive Moment786
  • 09
    xanthoxalynt NTA. Being repeatedly asked to compile a wish list only to receive used trash, missing part kits, empty gift cards, and phantom IOU notes, while watching her splurge on everyone else, is a deeply frustrating psychological slight that goes far beyond mere bad gift giving.
    via xanthoxalynt
  • 10
    Reasonable-Cat5767 Regift her the sh she gives you and wait for her to ask you're doing?
    via Reasonable-Cat5767
  • 11
    Apprehensive-East847 1. Stop giving the list and asking for one. 2. Save the things she's giving you and give them back to her when it's a gift giving moment. 3. When she does ask say I assumed these were things you want to be gifted other wise I don't understand why you'd give them in the first place.
    via Apprehensive-East847
  • 12
    Acerbica This is narcissistic behavior, btw. They like to bait people into a reaction so they can act like the victim when their target is ungrateful. I love the suggestions to match energy. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
    via Acerbica
  • 13
    dncrmom I'd give her a piece a paper that says one session with a therapist.
    via dncrmom
  • 14
    PerspectiveKookie16 YT A to yourself and your child for allowing this treatment to continue. In the comments you say you are afraid of her reaction or a tantrum if you respond in kind. I'd be more concerned that you are setting the example for your child that it is ok for someone to treat you and THEM intentionally bad and you just put up with it.
    via PerspectiveKookie16
  • 15
    BrilliantCry2838 1d ago I would gladly match her energy. Don't you have any trash at home to wrap as a gift for her?
    via BrilliantCry2838
  • 16
    Prior-Item6358 NTA but this seems really strange. Is she going through something mentally?
    via Prior-Item6358
  • 17
    BeachCatDog "Negging is a form of emotional manipulation where someone uses subtle insults, backhanded compliments, or passive-aggressive remarks to lower another person's confidence and make them seek approval." "Why People Do It? To throw the target off balance and create self-doubt. To shift the power dynamic so the person doing the
    via BeachCatDog
  • 18
    negging appears superior. To manipulate the recipient into working harder to earn their praise or validation." Stop exchanging gifts with your sister. Say, "We have everything we need thanks." Do not elaborate. Do not argue. You have your own life with your partner and child.
    via BeachCatDog

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