26-year-old refuses to babysit his older brother’s kids after he dumps them on his porch unannounced: ‘He [says] I should be grateful that he trusts me’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Sep 28, 2026 8:30 AM EDT

Family is family and all that, but at some point you just gotta put your foot down, don't you?

Because family has a way of turning one sibling's success into a debt that everyone else feels entitled to collect. 

In this family, the child who figured life out becomes the safety net for the one who didn't, and the person who, being a safety net, keeps catching everyone else ends up being called selfish for not wanting to be stretched even thinner.

If you've met people in your life, or even been on Reddit at some point, you already know favoritism isn't rare. Quite the opposite, favoritism plays out in households everywhere. One kid gets praised for showing up, gets participation trophies all the time, while the other gets ignored for actually achieving anything.

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  • AITAH for not babysitting my brothers kids after he dumps them on my front porch?

    Bearded man sits on a couch holding a phone to his ear while gesturing with one hand.
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    Annoyed younger sibling 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Hi, its been a few days since this accident and im still deciding what to do.
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  • First things first, im a male 26 years old and my brother is 30. We were growing up in a normal household, not poor, not rich, but my brother was always spoiled.
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  • He played highschool football and my parents saw him as a star. Me on the other hand i was more into books, IT,..
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  • When I was 15, i started programming and when i was 19, i made my first project that made actual money.
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  • Bearded man sits cross-legged on a couch holding a phone and gesturing with both hands.
    via Andrii Iemelianenko

    Younger brother looks flummoxed

    Representative only.

  • This time the praised sibling expects the ignored one to fix his problems simply because money was made. Which is flawless logic if you let it lie, don’t look directly at it, and/or examine it at all. It must be something like: since he has resources and I need help, therefore he helps, and that is the end of the argument.

  • I sold it to some big company of that time (i dont want to name) but i had money for ~2 years living by myself so i moved out.
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  • My parents didnt acknowledge me that much and still much more supported my brother who had to leave school he wasnt even good at because he got a child.
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  • I never told them how much i made and make currently because i was scared. Time passed, im 24 at that time, making very good money with my programming, i got more into cyber security and my brother is 28 and he already has 2 more kids, i never understood why they had 3 kids.
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  • They made very little money and barely were making it. Id help my brother if he wasnt total to me my whole life, embarrassing me for what i do, laughing at me at school with his friends and basically making my life miserable.
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  • We were seeing each other throughtout the years on Christmas,.. at my parents. house, we were cool with each other, but they saw me having a good car, living in a great house, vacations with my gf (currently wife) so they knew i had money and they tried to convince me to help my brother out.
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  • I always tried to corner it but once i had to stop it and tell them if he had been good to me, id help him but not like this+ im not the one having 3 kids, struggling with money but buying all kinds of useless and unnecessary stuff all the time.
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  • Years passed, they tried many times again but i always declined, and like a half a year ago my brother with his wife found a new job, at least thats what he told me, and he asked me to babysit his children, and i agreed because its not much of a burden for me and i didnt want his children to suffer because of him.
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  • We are expecting a child so we thought why not. It was always for 3 days.
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  • We were fine with it for a few times but then it also started to ruin our own plans and + cost us a lot of money which i dont care about but its not that im paying for my children, its my brothers children.
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  • I told him multiple times, he said i have money so hes not giving me anything so i told him ill stop babysitting his children.
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  • The request comes with phrases like just watch the kids OR  just lend the money OR  just help out, but the ask is never reciprocal because the sibling with less always expects the sibling with more to give, and the sibling with more is made to feel guilty for having it in the first place. Sounds like a healthy relationship, doesn’t it, you guys?

  • Four days ago he called me hes going to drop his kids in usual time and i told him no.
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  • He said too bad and that I will have to take them in because they're leaving in an hour.
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  • I hung up and I thought its the end of this. As i feared i got my bell ringed in an hour and three of my brothers kids were there with their backpacks as usual.
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  • I called my brother saying we cant take them and i told him we are leaving and they cant be alone.
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  • Our guy might feel bad, but when expectations are built on years of one-sided giving, and he’s the one who was treated like an option for years and is now the bad guy for not being available on demand. He really shouldn't feel anything at all. I mean, yeah, as I said, family is family and all that, but at some point you just gotta put your foot down, don't you?

  • He said i should be grateful that he trusts me and i should be a good brother and he hung up.
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  • I got really mad so I called my brother wifes sister (got her number when we were discussing big family dinner a year ago) and told her.
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  • She said shes out of state so she cant do anything but i should call her mom so she game me the number (we couldnt leave the kids alone).
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  • Mom picked it up, we told her, she said to bring them in so i drove 2,5 hours there and back to get them to their grandma.
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  • Kids like her and she was happy but my brother hates his mother in law, like literally, he gets mad every time someone mentions her.
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  • I didnt ask why but something bad must have happened, i think she saw hes not a great guy for her daughter because she told me that on the call that she always knew hes not a good guy and her daughter never listens to her and shes blindfolded and he hates her since that.
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  • I went home, opened a wine and we had a great evening with my wife. Next day as expected i got a call from my brother, i didnt pick it up at first but he called me like 5 times in a row and when i picked up, he started screaming at me saying how i dare put his kids to his mother in law, that it's unacceptable, that im the worst person and hes gonna press charges.
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  • He of course didnt because what would he even tell the cops but my parents are mad at me since and called me two times today saying i must apologize to him and take his kids in every time he want.
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  • I told them straight no but i know this is not ending well. AITA for not taking care of his kids and refusing to apologize?
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  • I dont want to ruin my family but this is too much.
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  • Especially when your parents still enable this by praising their older, struggling child and guilting you, saying that family means sacrifice, but only one side is actually sacrificing while the other side just takes, and when the giving finally stops, the whole family acts like the world is ending.

  • Striking-Debt8898 NTA, he ignored your no and dumped his kids on you anyway
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  • Purple-Manager-1357 NTA and you aren't ruining your family you are simply setting boundaries which is part of any healthy relationship friend, family, or otherwise.
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  • FormerlyDK Btw, tell your parents this is how he ended up because of them spoiling him so badly. And point out how good you're ending up because they didn't. They need this in their faces.
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  • theDagman NTA - Your brother should be grateful that you did not call the police to report three abandoned children. Then he'd have CPS all up in his a, instead of the nice MIL who just calls him on his BS.
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  • Beansgwamma NTAH - Dude, this was AMAZING!! Calling his MIL that he HATES was THE ABSOLUTE BEST!! Tell him if he ever does the drop and run again, that he already knows where to pick them up!
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  • awwaygirl NTA. Next time call CPS to report he's abandoning the kids with you. That should be the wake up call he needs to understand he can't bu y people into free childcare.
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  • Dizzy-muse2258 NTA. Dumping them on your doorstep like that is not ok. What if you hadn't been there? That would have been child abandonment.
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  • Prize-Bumblebee-2192 NTA If you're parents feel so strongly, tell them to take the kid instead tf
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family drama brother mother tradition siblings favoritism babysitting Father
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