Sister refuses to give her engaged sister the dress her mom bought for her, as it is for her wedding to wear, not to give out to her sister, now she is furious: 'She got really upset and said I was being selfish because I’m not even engaged and she is'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 30, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Some things won't work out the way you intended for your wedding. It happens. It's not the end of the world.

There is a crazy obsession with weddings, and you can't deny it. It is crazy how people get so fixated on having the perfect wedding when, in reality, that is not possible. I get that the day is pretty important because you are celebrating the union of your partner and you into sacred matrimony --or however you want to call it. And that is also the union between two families due to the love of the two people getting married. That is all beautiful and lovely. But having the perfect dress, floral arrangement, candid, not-so-candid pictures, and a color-matching theme; that is just a part that the couple likes. Which is fine, but don't act as if not having everything "perfect" was the reason why a wedding could be ruined or the main part of it, because it isn't. The most important aspect of a wedding should be the love between the couple. But instead, people worry about not having the perfect dress, as if it were a televised event like the marriage of the crown.

In this story, I feel like everything was blown out of proportion because of something as dumb as the dress. It is not about the mother who passed away. It is a mixture of the jealousy that the bride feels for her sister, as the mother liked to spend more time with her, to the point where she bought her a wedding dress before she passed away, even though this woman didn't have a wedding date set, nor was she even engaged. And the obsession with having the perfect dress, as if that was actually important when marrying the love of your life. She said she was going to use it before she even asked her sister to lend it to her, so now she feels bad about not having it. Girl, you want the dress so that you can feel less bad about not having a close relationship with your mother before she passed away. Having the dress is not going to fix that. So drop it and buy yourself a dress that you would actually enjoy wearing at your wedding for your own reasons. 

Advertisement
  • 01

    Am I wrong for refusing to give my sister the wedding dress our late mom bought for me even though I’m not engaged but in a relationship?

    I (24F) lost my mom a few years ago. Before she passed, she bought me a wedding dress. I know that sounds weird because I wasn't engaged then and I'm still not engaged now. But my mom was sick and knew there was a good chance she wouldn't be around when I eventually got married. One day we went shopping "just for fun" and I ended up trying on a dress that made both of us cry. She bought it for me and told me that when I
    via Single_F69
  • 02
    A bride with a beautiful wedding dress. Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes.
    via Maria Orlova

    A bride with a beautiful wedding dress. 

    Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes. 

  • 03
    wore it someday, it would be like she was still there with me. I've kept it stored away ever since. My older sister (29F) is getting married next year. She recently asked if she could wear my dress. At first I thought she meant try it on or maybe use part of it somehow. Nope. She wants to actually wear it for her wedding. Her reasoning is that our mom won't be at her wedding either and the dress would give her a way to have Mom there with her.
    via Single_F69
  • 04
    I completely understand why she feels that way, which is why I feel horrible about this, but I told her no. She got really upset and said I was being selfish because I'm not even engaged and she is. She also pointed out that there's no guarantee I'll ever even want to get married, while her wedding is actually happening. Then she said something that really bothered me. She said, "Mom would rather see
    via Single_F69
  • 05
    the dress used than sitting in a closet waiting for a hypothetical husband." I told her Mom specifically bought that dress for me. Now things have gotten way bigger than I expected. My dad thinks I should let her wear it because she's my sister and says Mom would probably love knowing both of her daughters got something meaningful out of the dress. My aunt is completely on my side
    via Single_F69
  • 06
    and says the dress was basically my mom's final gift to me and nobody should be pressuring me to give it up. My sister offered to have it. professionally cleaned afterward, but that honestly isn't the point. If she gets married in it first, I feel like it stops being the dress my mom bought for me to wear at my wedding and becomes my sister's wedding dress that I'm reusing later. I suggested she take a small piece
    via Single_F69
  • 07
    of fabric from one of Mom's old dresses and have it sewn into her own wedding dress instead. She said that isn't the same and accused me of hoarding the "one thing” that would make her feel like Mom was walking her down the aisle. That comment made me feel awful. Yesterday she told me she already showed her fiancé pictures of the dress and had apparently been talking about wearing it before
    via Single_F69
  • 08
    she even asked me. Now she says she has to explain to him that I won't let her have it. I love my sister. I know she misses our mom just as much as I do. But this is one of the only things I have that Mom specifically picked out for a future moment she knew she would miss.
    via Single_F69
  • 09
    A couple getting married at their wedding. Representative only.
    via Eugenia Pan'kiv

    A couple getting married at their wedding. 

    Representative only. 

  • 10
    Dana Marie75038 NTA. Your sister is selfish for trying to take away that special thing between you and your mom. Stand your ground. Your mom got it for you.
    via Single_F69
  • 11
    Ermmahhhgerrrd I don't think you're TA for feeling like you do. Your sister didn't have the relationship you had with your mom otherwise she'd have her own dress. It's yours. I do suggest having a trusted friend or family member who agrees with you take it for now. You never know what other people will do out of jealousy or spite, and it would be a shame if she decided to ruin it/steal it.
    via Single_F69
  • 12
    Leslind1222 Hide the dress at a friend's place
    via Single_F69
  • 13
    Broad-Policy8271 NTA - Who shows their fiancé the dress before their wedding?! I call BS on your sister, she's just trying to guilt you into giving it to her.
    via Single_F69
  • 14
    Suspicious-Ad-1312 NTA she didn't buy one for her. That dress is for you. If she wants a piece of a mother she didn't have a good relationship with, then maybe she can wear a piece of jewelry that belonged to her or something. She's just trying to get a free dress imo
    via Single_F69
  • 15
    Powerful_Put_6977 I'm so sorry for your loss. As soon as your Dad weighed in, the only reasonable response would be "Mum got me my dress, Dad can get you yours. My dress is mine and is not up for discussion." NTA
    via Single_F69
  • 16
    Hogwartsgryffindor immediately no. this dress is tied to a memory you have with your mom- it's only natural you want it to remain that way
    via Single_F69
  • 17
    Straight-Example9126 Move your dress to a trusted friend's place. Keep it safe. I wonder why your mum never did the same with your sister her bad luck. But no matter - what, your mum's explicit wish was that you would wear the dress and get married some day. She didn't tell "| want both my daughters to share this dress and wear it to their respective weddings." You're just 24. It's too early to declare
    via Single_F69
  • 18
    that you may not marry at all. That's very callous of your sister. Her showing the pics of a dress which never belonged to her - to her fiance is audacity of next level. Protect the dress, she might steal it.
    via Single_F69

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

entitlement selfish wedding dress sister bridezilla
Scroll Down For The Next Article