31-Year-Old Tenant Surprised When Her Live-in Landlords Demand She Cook for Them After a Single Shared Dinner— She Makes Them Regret It

In her original post, this tenant, a 31-year-old woman, shared how she moved into a basement unit with a shared kitchen with her landlords and fellow roommates. After she offered the couple some shrimp Alfredo on her first night, it somehow became an expectation. The next night, when she cooked salmon, the landlords complained that she hadn't shared it with them. Somehow, they had convinced themselves that she was preparing some for them too and would just continue to do so for the remainder of the time she lived there. 

This expectation was, of course, both entitled and crazy. Especially given her lease apparently mandates the separation of the tenant's food from the landlord's. This is a crazy thing to put in a lease in the first place, but I guess it isn't that surprising given everything going on here.

The following is the original thread that she shared with an online community, asking for advice as to how she could approach the situation. Keep reading after the original thread to read the latest update that was shared detailing what had happened since.

The Original Thread

My landlord is demanding I feed them, what can I do?

Story / EcstaticBlackberry72

I 31F recently moved into a renovated basement unit owned by a small family. My landlord M47, his pr*gnant wife 44, and their 7yo daughter. My unit has its own bathroom, bedroom, and living area but there is a shared kitchen upstairs that we both use. In my lease, it states that any food or drinks purchased by my landlords family is off limits to me, and I am responsible for feeding myself as well as cleaning up any messes made while preparing meals. That’s all pretty standard, and was fine with me. I have a mini fridge that I keep downstairs and a small wardrobe I’m using as a pantry. I also have my own pots, pans, utensils, spices, etc.

I love to cook. So I will often cook myself a nice meal to enjoy after work. I work in food service, so cooking is a pretty big part of my life. My landlords don’t cook at all. They mostly eat frozen food, pre packaged noodles, tv dinners etc. When they gave me the tour, they made sure to emphasize several times that their food is off limits and I’m not to touch any of it. I don’t.

On my first evening there, I decided to make myself some shrimp alfredo from scratch, really simple dish, basically just shrimp, noodles, cheese, cream, salt, and spices. I had some extra, and since the family was home, I offered them some. My landlord and his wife enthusiastically accepted and helped themselves. Their daughter is picky so she didn’t have any. They let me know it was very good, and I didn’t think much of it; I don’t mind sharing and I like feeding people.

ETA: I only shared the Alfredo because I got the shrimp free from work.

This afternoon, I made myself some oven baked salmon and cilantro lime rice for dinner, again, another simple meal. I finished cooking, cleaned up the kitchen, and took my meal downstairs to enjoy and I thought everything was fine, until halfway through my meal, I got a snarky text from my landlord basically telling me that if I’m going to play in their faces, they would have reconsidered the lease. 

Basically he said that because his wife is pr*gnant and really likes salmon, I should have shared it with her. He said he had seen what I had made, and because I had made 2 pieces of fish, I could have at least given her one. Basically his wife had smelled me cooking and had assumed I was making her some too and when I didn’t she got mad. He said that they opened their home to me, and that next time I should be more considerate.

I haven’t spoken to them directly yet; the first text was about 20 minutes ago. My lease explicitly states that food is to be kept separate and I’m responsible for feeding myself which I’m pretty sure means they aren’t entitled to my food either. The second piece of salmon I intend to have for lunch tomorrow. I know that pr*gnant cravings can be pretty intense, but I spend a decent amount of money on high quality fresh foods to prepare for myself since I’m usually cooking for just me. I don’t have the budget to make extra food for them every time. 

Should I just give in and share with them? I know it sounds like a terrible idea but I think they might just make life terrible for me if I don’t. My lease is only 60 days and then month to month and I moved in on Sep 1 so it’s not gonna last very long either way. But I moved here so I could save money for a nicer place and that will be more difficult if I have to budget to give them food when I cook. What should I do?

ETA: I’m already looking for a new place. I actually had my eye on a place already which is why my lease is so short. I had planned for at least 4 months to save before moving but I think I can do it in 2 if I really scrimp and save. 

I am currently drafting a proposal to cook for them in exchange for a discount on rent, providing they purchase any food they want me to prepare. I’m not sure how they’ll take it but if they won’t work out a meal exchange for me for the next 4 months, then I’m leaving as soon as this contract ends.

Update if anyone is interested. 

I responded to my landlord as you all suggested and mentioned the part of the lease where food is to be kept separate. I also brought up my culinary experience and let them know that I am happy to cook a family meal once a week in exchange for $50 off rent per meal for a total of $200 off rent each month; provided they purchase all ingredients additionally.

You all were right they pretty much laughed in my face about that. So I will be moving out Oct 31 when this lease ends, I’ve already found a small studio that will give me a month to month lease while I finish saving what I need so I’m just working out the final details of that currently. 

These people are for sure crazy and I’ve decided to ignore them. I’m going to continue cooking my own meals and they can get over it. I did get a little lock for my mini fridge and pantry just in case, and I have a ring camera set up downstairs too. I’m also going to make garlic short ribs and mac n cheese for myself tonight because it turns out I am a bit petty.

The Update

The following is the latest thread that was shared as an update to the original story in Reddit's Malicious Compliance community this week. 

In this update she shared how, instead of doing what the landlords had demanded, she continued to cook increasingly tantalizing meals for herself without sharing them, which was slowing driving the landlords up the wall. See this update below and keep reading after for my thoughts on the overarching issue at hand.

My landlord tried to demand I feed him

Story / EcstaticBlackberry72

So here’s a bit of fallout from a post I made a couple of weeks ago. I moved into a basement unit with a shared kitchen with my landlord on Sept 1. Basically I shared with my landlord and his pr*gnant wife some shrimp alfredo I made for dinner on my first night as a nice gesture, and the next time I cooked they tried to demand part of my meal and threatened to terminate the lease. 

Cursed me out and acted like I was playing in their faces for eating a home cooked meal (oven roasted salmon and cilantro lime rice, a super simple meal really) without offering them some, because the pr*gnant wife thought she was entitled to my dinner.

I previously tried negotiating with them by offering to cook a meal a week in exchange for reduced rent, but after they laughed in my face for thinking they should compensate me if they want me to cook for them I got petty.

In my lease it states food is to be kept separate and I am responsible for feeding myself. Their food is strictly off limits. And my food is off limits to them. Fine by me. All they eat is frozen burritos, hot pockets, ramen noodles etc. I have almost a decade of fine dining restaurant cooking experience, and to spite them, I decided to make myself the most elaborate, aromatic, delicious meals. Food is to be kept separate so as per my lease, legally there is nothing I can do.

So I first started with some red wine braised garlic short ribs and baked Mac n cheese from scratch. I cooked the ribs low and slow in the oven, and when I say they smelled glorious. 

My landlords living room is connected to the kitchen (I live in the basement, so my unit connects to a door in the corner of the kitchen that leads to the basement) and he and preggo wife sat on their couch basically mean mugging me the entire time I cooked but they didn’t say anything.

The whole house smelled divine for hours afterwards. I cleaned up afterwards and took the leftovers downstairs to keep in my locked mini fridge and left not a trace in the kitchen except a delicious lingering smell. I half expected a snooty text from my landlord while I was eating but they actually didn’t say or do anything that night.

The next day I made myself some hot honey fried chicken and while I got more silent glares out of the living room from both of them, the meal went by uneventfully.

However, that weekend after I got home from work, I made myself some coconut curry chicken and saffron rice (really quick stovetop meal) and for the h*ll of it I got my blender out and made myself a mango lassi. While I was mixing my drink, my landlord wandered into the kitchen and began digging around in various cabinets as I was cooking. Just opening and shutting drawers and moving stuff around randomly. I waited til he went back into the living room, then I had to run back downstairs to grab my cardamom powder, and just because I had a hunch, I decided to come back up the stairs really quietly. 

I hadn’t closed the door to the basement, so I just peeked around the doorway to see my pr*gnant landlord lifting the lid to the pot of curry. Of course I came storming in then to ask her wt* she thought she was doing, and she jumped and dropped the lid back onto the pot and turned and looked at me all sheepishly. I asked her again wt* she thought she was doing and she just shrugged and said she didn’t think there was any harm in seeing what was “going on in her kitchen.” Then she just turned around and penguin waddled out of the kitchen like she hadn’t just been trying to do something to my meal. Her husband didn’t reappear either and I lowkey suspect he had told her the coast was clear when I ran downstairs.

Anyway I realized I was going to have to be a bit more careful after that because these people are shameless. Two days later, I decided to bake myself a fresh loaf of bread and oven roast a Cornish game hen with fresh rosemary and some delightfully aromatic garlic and truffle butter I’d gotten from work. 

I made my bread dough and took it downstairs to rise for about 45 minutes, then came up and threw everything in the oven and made a point of sitting in the kitchen and reading while my food was cooking, and I was about an hour into baking, (and the house smelled divine) when the husband came into the kitchen, grabbed a frozen pizza out of the freezer and informed me that he would need the oven for his dinner. 

Super r*de but whatever. I let him know that I was almost done with my meal, and to give me 20 minutes and the oven would be all his. He huffed and puffed but went back into the living room and left the pizza on the counter. I finished cooking, cleaned up, took my meal downstairs and I left the oven on for him to cook his pizza.

About half an hour after I went downstairs, I received a snarky text from my landlord asking if I intended to burn down the house and k*ll his family because I had left the oven on. These people smh. I replied back that I was sorry, I had thought he was going to cook his frozen pizza so I’d left the oven on as a courtesy. 

He texted back pretty much immediately that it was really no big deal, it had just upset his wife and maybe I could make it up to her by giving her a piece of the bread I’d just baked. At this point I’m pretty sure she put him up to it. I told him sorry, that’s for my lunch tomorrow and again reinstated my offer to cook a meal a week for reduced rent. He didn’t reply.

Then a few days after that, I was sitting in the kitchen reading while the French onion soup I was making for dinner simmered on the stove when I saw my landlord check his phone and then leave the living room and go upstairs into their part of the house. Not 3 minutes later, the power in the kitchen shut off. 

I’m pretty sure he had flipped off the breaker because none of the power in the rest of the house went out. But the stove, the kitchen light, and I’m guessing the power to the fridge cut off. Of course the wife started fre*king out. Came storming into the kitchen to demand why I had “burned out” their power. Her husband came down the stairs after that, looking a little too calm. 

He said it was probably the breaker (duh) and then went back upstairs to see if he could fix it. Power came back on a few minutes later. I finished making my soup and went back to the basement. Almost immediately got a text from landlord saying that maybe I should take it easy in the kitchen because the “wiring is fragile.” I didn't even reply to that text. 

Nothing is wrong with the kitchen wiring or it would have glitched out on curry day, because I had the oven, stovetop, and blender all going at the same time that day and I was only using the stove top for the french onion soup. It was definitely just another attempt to mess with me because I won't give them my meals.

That's all the updates I have, but I will continue to update you if their hijinks continue. It's definitely been a bit of a rollercoaster ride maliciously complying to the lease, but I've been eating deliciously the past couple of weeks, and there's a small part of me that enjoys that it riles them up so much. Anyway that's all for now.

Just in case anyone was wondering, I only have about 5 more weeks on my lease and then I will be moving into a small studio apartment while I save for something better. I'm almost to my goal amount, so by the new year hopefully my housing issues will be solved. Also as far as anyone wondering about the meals, nothing I mentioned here really took more than about 20 minutes of prep time and maybe an hour or so of cooking time. All of these meals are actually really simple and as I am only cooking for one, the small portions mean I only make enough for that meal and usually lunch the next day.

TL, DR: I shared my homemade shrimp Alfredo with my landlord and his pr*gnant wife, and then they tried to demand that I share my meals with them and were super r*de about it. The lease states our food is to be kept separate, so I’ve decided to cook the most delicious food I can.. all for myself.

Also if anyone has any recipes that are simply delicious and not too expensive to suggest, I’m all ears.

My take on the subject?

No, adults were not meant to live together. Having roommates works (kind of) when you're in your late teens and early 20s. No one is set in their ways at that age. Rather, far from it. You're all still kind of trying to figure stuff out. That period of your life is like training simulator 2.0 as you figure out how to live life outside the close watch of your parents.

As you age, you naturally get more isolated. And, as that happens, you also get more stubborn and set in your ways. You figure out what you want, how you want it, and then sort of move on to the next thing. Time and energy are more scarce now, so conserving them both is important. You need thing, you can't afford to spend so much time and energy navigating the rougher seas of youth by having everything changing all the time.

Everything becomes more the same day to day. Boring. Stable. Predictable.

Consequently, your friends dwindle to a select few close ones who you can still relate to, who don't offer your life too much turmoil, and who are going through the same stage of life as you.

It becomes pretty clear by your late 20s and early 30s that everyone is increasingly at odds with their roommates. Sure, the major fights and spillovers of your early 20s are behind you. But those were just as quickly paved over as they appeared.

Now, quiet, long-lasting disagreements grow quickly into resentment. A difference of opinions and ways of doing things, both sides obstinately unwilling to waver.

By your 30s you're pretty ready to be living by yourself, and start thinking a lot about how much more you'd be willing to pay in rent just to make that happen. How much disposable income do you really need anyway?

You'll probably be living with someone around your age, or a little bit older, who has just bought the house you're living in. This "live-in landlord" really doesn't want you there and doesn't really seem to even notice the fact that you're paying them rent to live there. To them, you are an unfortunate inconvenience, and a constant reminder of their inability to live on their own as they would like to.

Eventually you'll kiss all your disposable income goodbye. Anything to avoid having even one more passive-aggressive text message feud about the dishes in the sink, or whose turn it was to vacuum. You move into your own place, and you love it. It's exceptional. You have no money, so all you do is sit at home in your apartment, becoming increasingly more isolated as the weeks and months tick by.

At some point, if you're fortunate enough, you'll suffer the misfortune of the loss of a close family member. You might have a gaping hole in your life, but now you'll have gained some money from inheritance. (Yay?) Some time around here, once you and your partner have progressed in your careers a bit, you'll start thinking about buying a place of your own. Better to rent a home from the bank than from a landlord, after all.

You'll have even less money. But you might even finally be able to hang those artwork prints you've been collecting on the wall.

Here's where the problem comes in. You have to get a roommate in order to make the mortgage payments work. You really don't want to, but begrudgingly acquiesce to the reality.

Are you starting to see the problem?

Living alone hasn't made you enjoy living with people any more than you did before. Far from it. You've become increasingly reluctant to change your own ways to suit the roommate that you now have. It's your house why can't they just see that and do things your way? But they're paying rent to live there, so they want to do things as they have always done them.

The cycle has completed itself. And eventually they'll move out on their own once they've had enough of their landlord's stubbornness, just as you did a little while ago.